STOP THE PRESS! – A SNEAK LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE SL ENQUIRER- Mackenzie Abbot reporting

To the casual reader, the SL Enquirer is a great Second Life news source.  To others, it’s just a tarted-up blog with pretensions of being a newspaper.  However you see the SLE, you keep coming back again and again.  It’s friendly and familiar, with a great mix of news, views and interesting articles written by a team with a wide range of interests.  But behind the scenes, gentle reader, lies a different world.  A world of debauchery, greed for power and control.

To begin with, the initiation ceremony is humiliation enough.  But when you are in dire need of a handful of lindens to feed your starving family, you’ll let anyone do anything to you with a rubber chicken, a Walmart gift-card and small statue of Oprah Winfrey.  Survive that and you become embroiled in the seedier side of the SL Enquirer.  For a start, you are not allowed to address the CEO, Lanai Jarrico, as anything but “Miss Jarrico”.  The punishment for calling her anything else will earn you a donkey punch to the back of the head while still being receptive of a dog toy.  And you must never NEVER look her directly in the eyes unless given permission.

A recent image of an SLE journalist ,who missed out a comma in a sentence, trying to pacify Miss Jarrico.

The hours are long and laborious; often lasting a few days until Miss Jarrico is totally satisfied that you are worth of a reprieve from duty.  These reprieves can last from 1 to 7 seconds, depending on her mood, and may or may not include comfort breaks and/or food.  Call into the press room anytime of the day or night and you will see dozens of avatars, broken and battered by toil, endless research and spellchecking.  Many, just shells of their former selves, starting to take notice of their other male captives and doing their level best to hide broners, all why trying to avoid the wrath of their wicked, masochistic editor-in-chief.  Meetings can last for weeks with little or nothing being said.  The last meeting this reporter went to consisted entirely of singing nursery rhymes backwards, and mass mutual shame fest; interspersed with occasional cries of “Fo’ Shizzle Ma Nizzle!” (shouted as loud as possible to Miss Jarrico’s question, “Do you pathetic waste of prims love working for me?!?”) .

The women in the press pack don’t get away lightly either.  I observed one reporter being throttled with her own thong for writing an article that didn’t give praise to the SL Enquirer and dared to express her own views.  The party line (or should that be the Panty Line) should be followed at all times or woe betide your soul.

Three female staffers anger the CEO by not praising The SL Enquirer and are dealt with in line with the SLE Handbook.

One female presspacker, who we will call Jill, spoke to me discreetly from under a table.

“I turned up here all eager and peachy-keen on writing about my passion for fashion…and shoes….and purses….I was bouncing!  I longed to be a journalist and share my adoration for mesh with the world.

And then I signed the contract…

…I was still aglow at finally being a reporter and that’s when the mood changed.  She suddenly had a fire in her eyes and her voice changed.  She took off her glasses and began chanting.  Two of her goons appeared from nowhere and held me in my seat.  When she had finished chanting and her head had spun round to the right position, she stood up, disrobed and……and….”

She broke down quietly but regained her composure a few seconds later.

“Let’s just say there was a forest on the outskirts of the Amityville House Of Horror”

Jill turned a vicious shade of lime green at this point and scuttled away.  I never saw her again.  I’ve since heard rumours that she managed to escape and went into hiding on a sim close to the Blake Sea.  I do hope she’s ok…

Staff Action Figures on SLE Now!

Dear reader, please take it from someone who has seen and experienced the horrors at first hand; the SL Enquirer is not what it seems!  Yes it’s a great read and seems like fun to work for from the outside.  But brutality and fear reign supreme in the world of Miss Jarrico.  Please, spread the word, send help.  We implore you.

I must close now as I hear the sound of 12 inch spiked heels approaching.  Please, save us!  I must now return to pixel-counting, if I’m caught writing this, I will be subject to pain beyond human imagination….

…Keeping Up With The Kardashians…

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THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE AIR: Spotlight Feature on Distant Thunders Rock Club- Mackenzie Abbot Reporting

I have to admit, I had never heard of Distant Thunders before in all my 3 years on Second Life. 

I also have to admit I’m not a rock music kind of guy, but I put aside my preconceptions and headed over to gain an insight into what goes on over there.  I found a warm and friendly place where people actually speak to you when you enter for the first time.  I was made to feel welcome from the second I walked in, and that matters to someone who has been to places where you’re just another cash cow for the club.

So I was intrigued to get the assignment of writing the Spotlight feature for the SLE.  At the anointed time, I was whisked over to the board room and was greeted by a variety of people, including the owners, Joy and Kimmy Maldor.

Mackenzie Abbot: Why did you decide to set up Distant Thunders? Aren't there enough clubs in SL already?

Joy: I never had plans to open a club but I was trying to get a club to my sim when I heard they had changed the sim. And when I spoke to the owner of that club, the response was not very good, so I decided to open one of my own.

M: Was it difficult in the early days, setting up a club?

Joy: It’s easy to open a club, anybody can, but holding on to it is very difficult, 24/7 makes it worse, so yes having a club in SL is a very difficult indeed.

M: And how long have you been open?

J: 1 year

M: Is it disheartening during those quiet times, when a DJ and Host/ess are playing to an empty (or nearly empty) club?

J: We do sponsored events, sometimes just contests to attract VIP’s, but many times it’s what it is, next set improves.

K: We also have really good host/hostess that are good at drawing VIPs in when things become slow.

J: Yes I agree. 

M: So what is the unique selling point of Distant Thunders?

J: We value our VIP’s and give personal attention.  Good music, friendly place, fun hangout.

Fiona Whelan: I would also say the different options you have available to them

K: And a lot of other fun things to do while they're here

J: For example, the other attractions at the club include a bowling alley, white water rafting, jet ski-ing, hang gliding, fan boats, sail boarding, ATV riding, paintballing, biker ball, the DT Mansion, weekly sponsored events, firing range, balloon rides and sky diving.  There is something for everyone.

S: and our DJs don’t just play music, they interact and make the VIP’s part of the set.

K: It's about the experience they can have here. It’s a great place to hang out with friends.

M: And is that a bike track I saw out there?

J: This is a Rock and Ride club, so anybody who likes to ride, we have a great track for you to use.

(I laughed)

M: I took the Editor of the SL Enquirer out on my bike and nearly killed her.  I hope you have insurance

J: failure is the stepping stone of success; you will ride well next time :)

M: I appreciate the faith you have in me, but I fear it may be misplaced.  Anyway, if you had to sell Distant Thunders in 3 words, what would they be?

J: Rock Ride & Play

M: That's probably the best answer to that question I’ve ever seen.  Ok last question, what's next for Distant Thunders? Where do you see the club this time next year?

J: Well we have some new services in progress, including Distant Thunder Wedding Venue with end to end wedding service, Distant Thunder DJ/Host School, Distant Thunder Fashion Academy, Distant Thunder Studio and the Distant Thunder Monthly Magazine.

K: Still here, and more popular and better than ever!

M: As a fashion designer myself, I’m intrigued about the Fashion Academy.  What’s that?

J: Distant Thunder Fashion Academy is about helping creators in the fashion community showcase their products. We also have a school for training those who wish to learn the methods and tools it takes to excel in the modelling field. We host a fashion show at the end of every month on the Distant Thunder sim too.

At this point, I concluded the interview and was about to thank everyone for their time when Joy stopped me

J: I would like to take this opportunity, if I may, to thank the DT staff for their hard work every single day. I would also like to thank the management staff for their commitment and hard work, as well as all the people who stood by me for building Distant Thunder.

M: I'm sure each and every single one of them appreciates that sentiment

K: We have the greatest staff you could ever find in Second Life.

Leaving the boardroom and crossing the dance floor, I get an overwhelming sense that Joy and Kimmy take an immense amount of pride in their business and staff.  Not once did the subject of making money come up.  In fact, they seem to be ploughing what money they do make, back into making the club bigger and a more fun place to be.  This reporter finds no fault with that.  Too many clubs in Second Life seem hell-bent on making as much money as they can at the expense of services or staff well being.  Maybe there’s something in that for all of us to consider.

 It is refreshing to see that Distant Thunder stands out and truly appreciates their staff and visitors as well as shows where their priorities are for making it a fun place to be.

Additional Information:

SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife//78/88/22

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Come Into The Garden: Spotlight On The Sacred Gardens Mackenzie Abbot Reporting

It’s always made we wonder why anyone would want to start a club in Second Life.  It tends to be the occupation of choice for anyone who wants to start a quick business here, but doesn’t tend to last very long in a market flooded with clubs and venues that offer DJ’s and live music.  So what’s so different about The Sacred Gardens?  I took a stroll around to see what was different here.  Among the flowers and walkways there’s a boating lake, bridges and swans. All very idyllic.  Heading back to the club area, I meet with Bluey and Cshelle, the owners for a chat.

M: So why did you start Sacred Gardens? Aren’t there enough clubs in SL?

B: Well basically, we wanted to be different.  Most clubs tend to either have little cliques or are just “us and them” when it comes to management and staff.  We wanted to be a family.  We’re not interested in making money we just want people to come here and feel welcomed

S: Like they’re in their home.

B: Exactly, we have an open door policy and anyone is welcome.  You don’t have to come here and listen to the music, or splash your cash around.  You’ll notice we don’t have any stores in the area, purely because we want the place to not be about spending money.  We have 1 tip jar for the sim, that’s it.  We don’t want your money, we want your company and friendship.

M: So what’s so different about SG compared to other clubs?

B: I think it’s a friendlier atmosphere.  We like to think we have a better standard of people here.  By that we mean friendly people who don’t just say hello and then leave you alone.  Everyone here tries to welcome you in and make you feel like you’re part of the family.  We don’t have a list of rules.  Just come here, do your own thing, relax and be yourself.

S: Well, we don’t call them rules per se, more guidelines.  Key is communication.  Keep it simple, smart…that’s the way we do things

M: What the unique selling point in the eyes of VIPs? What can you offer that others can’t?

The difference is we want to make people feel welcome and part of the family.  We don’t own it, they do in a way.  Just an escape where they can be who they want to be.  Don’t get us wrong we limit things but that’s more common sense things.  We’re freelance if you like.

M: How would you describe Sacred Gardens in 5 words?

B: Great place to come and relax

M: That’s 6 words

B: Oh sorry

S: friendly, romantic

B: errr

S: games

B: relaxing, great bosses!

S: Easy going!

M: ok that’s actually 8 words but I’ll work my magic when I come to edit this later. (Note, gentle reader, I didn't) What else does the club have to offer?

B: Well we have nice gardens to walk around.  There’s also a beach area for those quiet moments.

S: There’s also a lake area with a boat you can use, it’s not just about the music and dj’s, there are places where you can sit with loved ones, friends and play game or just sit and chat.  As we said, you don’t have to come and listen to any entertainment we have, you can just chill and hang out

B: I’m glad you’re writing this down Mack, I’d be lost after three words

M: Where do the club going? Where do you see SG in a years’ time?

B: Hopefully still going. Don’t know if we want to make the club bigger as that might be impersonal

S: Obviously we would like a bigger footfall, a lot can happen in a year and a lot of clubs get closed down for the wrong reasons.  We wouldn't close SG down even if there were only 2 people here, this is our home.  You can go bigger but it’s not always better.  It’s far more manageable as it is, we’re not greedy for money or people, we just want a happy fun loving place for us, our staff and our vips of course.

M: Let’s try this again in a different way, what would be the top three reasons for someone reading this to come here?

Both: Great music, friendly environment, beautiful surroundings

As I thanked them for their time and wandered off to take some photos for this article, I realized that not every club owner had attitudes or were hungry for power/money/VIPs.  It was refreshing to find a breed of club owner who actually gave a damn about their patrons and didn’t just try and fill schedules with DJ’s and hosts so that whoever decided to show up would have something to listen to.  They make no apologies for trying to be different and that’s refreshing to see on grids chock full of clubs full of bots or as empty as the inside of a reality show contestants head.

The Sacred Gardens can be found at

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Phlegethon/246/108/495

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Mackenzie’s Mumblings: “But None Of It’s Real, Right?” Mackenzie Abbot reporting

Ever since I plucked up the courage to sign up to Second Life some 3 summers ago, one thing never fails to amaze me.  The class of idiot you get in SL is something else.  Those no-life douche bags and all round bampots who blue waffle their way from day to day, hoping for a life, a job and, maybe, just maybe, a girlfriend.  The very same people who have no happiness in their lives, so set about making others’ lives hell too.  Note how I never included the abbreviations RL nor SL in the previous remark; simply because the line between RL and SL is usually (to quote the waiter played by John Cleese in the Monty Python film “The Meaning Of Life”) “waffer theen”.  People try and distance their real lives and their virtual ones and, to their credit, most do, or do a damn fine job!  Or, at least, do a damn fine job of pretending to.  Who’s to know anyway?

But I digress gentle reader, however I promise I’ll mop it up after, as long as you respect me in the morning.

So why should people get upset when something happens online that we don’t like?  When there are things such as block/kick/bank or simply ignoring people.  Well, some people just aren’t that strong to simply forget about it.  As we all know, behind my avatar, behind your avatar and everyone else’s avatar, there’s a real human being.  Flesh, blood, bones…the lot.  Not every human being has the capacity to easily block out the shock from seeing or hearing things said or done to them or others.

Take a very close friend of mine, we’ll call her Alison for the sake of this story.  Ali is, quite frankly, one of the most beautiful people I know, both physically and mentally.  She recently split from her SL partner after he became insanely jealous about her for no reason.  He accused her of sleeping around and whoring herself about, simply because she never jumped into his IM’s as quick as he wanted.  Alison is a businesswoman in SL and she has put thousands of hours and dollars into making her business a success and she was in pieces after not only abusing her directly, but indirectly through others.  The once unflappable Alison was starting to show signs of crumbling.  With the support of her friends, she didn’t get to the point where she broke, but she wasn’t her usual self for a few days.  The words of one person caused the mighty to become a shadow and that, in my opinion, should be treated with the contempt it deserves, only tenfold.  How dare anyone think they can take a beautiful person, monkey with her feelings and toss her aside!

But none of it is real is it?

Sadly, despite being a bunch of pixels and prims, it’s very real, and it’s widespread.  The ass-hats are coming, batten down the hatches boys!  As I’ve said before, every avatar has a human, and we all still bleed if your prick us.  Alison is, thankfully, back to her old sassy self and has described “it” (him) as “nothing more than something to do”.  She has showed remarkable grace by not retaliating.  She has simply been boosted by her friends and has moved on with her life.  Some people, aren’t so lucky.

Another friend, Diana, quit Second Life for good after taking years of abuse at the hands of the ass-hat brigade.  But hers is a slightly different story.  Diana is one tough lady.  She will tell you things plain and simple from day 1.  If she doesn’t like you or gets the wrong vibe from you, that’s it. 

This aside, the trolls in their various shapes and sizes (and levels of density) used to try and trip her up and she enjoyed nothing more than troll bashing of an evening.  She was the kindest woman I ever had the pleasure of knowing in Second Life but she decided to stop being an idiot’s play-toy and lost interest in Second Life completely in Feb 2014.  Last I heard she runs a catering company in Montana and she’s “doing rather well thank you”.

Sitting in my home, slowly working my way through a pack of Banana Twinkies, listening to Crosby Stills and Nash’s epic 1979 album “Chicago Sunroof”, I despair for human kind, especially the species that frequents virtual worlds and infects people with their poison.  The ultimate test of whether these lunatics survive is whether Linden Labs can man-up and start taking positive steps to kill it before it grows.  “Oh but I have First Amendment rights! You can’t take that away from me!”

True.

However, I don’t see anywhere in any constitution or state of law in America or any other country that gives you the right to ruin other peoples happiness for the sake of you getting your kicks.  In fact, if you want to start quoting century’s old documents, shall we start quoting the bible?

No, I didn’t think so.

Just be nice to each other, for crying out loud.  Life’s too short!

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Mackenzie's Mumblings – My (nearly) First Year In Second Life-Mackenzie Abbot reporting

Happy (nearly) birthday to me!  Happy (nearly) birth...you get the idea.

After nearly a year in Second Life, I am a changed person.  Ever since I rezzed on March the 30^th last year, I've been on a voyage of self discovery and unadulterated pleasure, as well as a smattering of misery thrown in for good measure.  In the early days, I was lost.  I had absolutely no idea of what to do, where to go or even why I was here.  I saw Second Life as a huge 3D chat room where I could make friends and pass the time.  Gentle reader, I was wrong.

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The Master Entertains: Spotlight On RichyRich, Owner of Caged BDSM Gaming-Mackenzie Abbot Reporting…

BSDM has a dark and mysterious side that few people know or understand.  It's more than just spankings and other activities that people would class as "kinky". 

How do you combine BDSM with gaming and DJ events in Second Life©?

Richy Rich is a dom (dominant) and has managed to do just that.  As the owner of Caged BDSM Gaming, he seems to have found the right balance.  We meet at the venue and, as expected, he has two of his subs (submissive) by his side.  The place has a few VIP's milling around and playing the various machines but he greets me warmly and I begin asking him about his roots.

Interview with RichyRich

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WHEN 2 WORLDS COLLIDE: Mack and Me.- Mackenzie’s Mumblings...

Hi, I'm Mackenzie Abbot, nice to meet you.

I'm a journalist, DJ, married with 1 child and one on the way.  I live on an island in a large house with my wife Pia.  I have a steady income from pay checks and tips.  I used to be a lethario who would try and bed any woman he came across but meeting my goddess changed me. Life is good at the moment.  I'm happy with my lot and hope it continues.

In real life, I'm a thirty-five year old, separated father of one who sees his son once a week.  I'm just under six foot tall and when I stand up and look down, I can't see my own size ten feet.  Even with my osteo spondylitis, which is a curved spine to you and me, I still can’t see them.  I have some mental health problems and I live at home with my mother.  Real life, my friends, is not so good and I hope it gets better.  Ladies, come and get me!

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Here Comes The Bride-Maker: Spotlight On Savanna Banx, Owner Of A Private Affair-Mackenzie Abbot Reporting...

Savanna Banx is a woman on a mission; to make the biggest day of one’s life as smooth and memorable as possible.  As owner of A Private Affair, her business is ensuring that marriages, unions and hand joining are a day to remember forever.  I went along to her offices on Spring Island to find out more about one woman’s vision of the wedding business.  We meet in reception and she is very welcoming.  I start by asking why she set up A Private Affair.

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Our Reporter In The Field: Writing For A Virtual Newspaper-Mackenzie Abbot Reporting...

The greatest thing about Second Life is that you can be who you want to be.  You can be over 7 foot tall with abs you could stop a train with, or a sex siren with massive.....potential, regardless of who you are or what you look like in the real world. 

You can live your dream, usually instantly, and without qualifications or long boring interviews.  My personal dream is to be a radio DJ; the closest I've got to that is DJ-ing in a club a few days a week.  But I've always secretly wanted to be a journalist.  So you can imagine my delight when I found out about the SL Enquirer.

Writing for a virtual newspaper might sound a bit silly to some people, and the more pedantic among you will say you're not actually writing for a newspaper, merely a blog with idea's above it station.  But, as most of the people here in Second Life know already, none of this is real.  The only thing that's real about Mackenzie Abbot, or you, gentle reader, is the person behind the avatar.  We all know that the reality is far from what our avatars lead people onto be.  I'm 7 foot tall, have blonde hair and a washboard stomach to die for.  In reality I'm 5 foot 10 inches tall with wild brown  hair and a belly that goes around corners before I do.  Ladies...?

So if you yearn to write for a virtual living, how do you go about it?

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Simple Pleasures: Sailing in Second Life – Mackenzie Abbot Reporting

The term “sailing” is a bit of a misnomer, given that it encompasses everything to do with boats, regardless of whether they have sails or not. 

It's a little difficult to think about sailing as a whole, without thinking of millionaires in luxury yachts or retired folks in their narrow-boats.  But then again, there's the freedom of the high seas and the ability to speak like a pirate without getting taken away by men in white coats.  I have had a keen interest in sailing since a friend of mine invited me onto her friend’s boat.  We pointed the boat in the right direction and just kept going.  As soon as she let me have a go at being skipper, I was hooked.  I bought my boat the next day and never looked back.  So which boat should you buy?  Where do you moor the thing once you've bought it? How much does it cost a month?  I decided to find out.

Where Do I Start?

If your sailing knowledge equates to knowing who Popeye is, then you're not alone.  Nobody is born an expert at anything; we all need pointing in the right direction and, thankfully, there are yacht and boat clubs all over Second Life.  If you just want a boat you can jump into and get going with, there are freebie boats in the Marketplace and at Yacht clubs.  One such club is the Trade Winds Yacht Club (http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Dex/139/48/25). 

They have a few freebie boats for beginners as well as free clothes (including the absolutely necessary Captain's Hat).  However, if you want something a bit more flash than a 2 seater wooden dinghy, then you're going to need some lindens sailor!  However, depending on what you want, and where you look, you may not have to part with that much to a decent little craft.

What Boat Would Suit Me Best?

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Spotlight on Ted McKenna, Owner of Carnel Oasis- Mackenzie Abbot Reporting…

On first impression, you would see a quiet, unassuming resident dancing his heart out in a local nightspot.  But Ted McKenna has, after 6 years of playing, been there, done that and bought the shirt.





We meet in his club, Carnal Oasis, after a well-attended 2 hour DJ event on one of Dream Walker Isle's beaches.  He offers me a drink and we start talking about his early days in a club on Kokomo.  The story starts with him being brought in as a Security Manager but losing the job not long after when the entire sim disappeared. 

So what happened and why did everything disappear?

It was a private sim. In those days, copy-bots hit Second Life real hard and the sim owner did not want to be responsible for any vendors losing any of their items, so he shut the sim down to any vendors and shortly after that he closed the sim.  A number of merchant sims had major issues during that time until safeguards were put in place to control the copy-bots and still, to this day, they are a factor.

Interview with Ted McKenna

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Politics: Could Big Brother Be Watching You?- Mackenzie Abbot Reporting...

 

In everyday life, politics shapes our world.  From how high the curb must be to how much taxes you pay. Someone, somewhere, makes the laws of the land.  

There's no getting away from politics.  Turn on your television or open any newspaper and you will see some member of government talking about the hot topic of the day, or defending the latest proposition to change the law.  Every government in every country control banks, the economy, the various security forces and make sure that everyday life is peaceful and fair for all.  But this is Second Life.  We come here to get away from day-to-day troubles and cast aside who we really are.  We live, love, fight, dance and just be who we want to be; carefree and happy to do exactly what we want in our ideal, alternate life.

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