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18 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Our Most Embarrassing Moments of Second Life - LadyLoveDr Reporting





We've all had them, that moment when it becomes too late to take something back or reverse time to stop something that had happened.  The timing seems to be perfect but not in your favor.  No matter what the episode is, in one way or another we've all stood at the front of the firing line.  Our faces turn red, we feel our ears get hot, our stomach does flips and we get a little nervous.  I'm talking about that embarrassing event that never happens when we're alone or no one is online that we know.  I roamed Second Life polling crowds of people to see what their most embarrassing moments were.  I enjoyed hearing them so I figured why not share with the readers of the SL Enquirer.



Elsie W:

My most embarrassing moment would have to be when I went to buy a house with friends. I happened to see one off in the distance.  After contemplating all the houses around me, I went to check out the one in the distance I had seen.  I proceeded to teleport my friends in, upon which I noticed it was furnished and some other people inside. I then explained out loud what I was intending to do, what I would change, what was wrong with the colour scheme. After I had chatted endlessly and without limits for a while I found out it was a private house and the other people who I thought were potential buyers were in fact the owners.  Oops!



Kaijah C:

I had just bought a new skin.  I was super excited to put it on and flaunt around in my new look!   After the skin was on, I put on my cool zipper open jeans and went shopping for another hour.    So there I was, painting the town in my new-found skin and favorite outfit, feeling like I was on top of the world!  Then I cammed to look around at some stuff and happen to catch a glimpse of the front of my avatar, i was like what is that? To my surprise, my privates had been hanging out for all to see!  Talk about busting my bubble.



Black W:

My most embarrassing moment in Second Life is when I was talking with someone and they seemed really familiar.  I just couldn't put my finger on it.  Maybe I had spoken with them at another period in our SL lives.  We chatted for quite a while, getting to know each other better.  All of a sudden, my phone rings.  That was my friend on the phone.  As it turns out, I did in fact know him the friend was calling to inform me that I was talking to her husband in SL.  It wasn't my fault but I couldn't help but apologize to her.



Mr R:

I was in the middle of a group event that I couldn't leave and my girlfriend popped on.  She started chatting me up.  Things got a little hot and heavy.  I was going back and forth between the group chat and the private IM with my girlfriend.  I typed in this really hot comment about what I wanted her to do with her mouth and the moment I pressed the ENTER key I realized that I had just send that comment to the group I was in, instead of as a private IM to my girlfriend.



Lady L: 

I was spamming groups and land chat, trying to sell some parcels I had.  I teleported to a sandbox to work on a prim that would help me announce my posts.  A few minutes after I landed, an IM popped up and a guy asked how much.  I said "For you, only $1536!"  He asked for how long?  I said "$1536 and you own."  I quickly realized I had teleported to a BDSM sandbox and he was not at all interested in my land, he wanted to buy me to be his slave.  That's what I call sending someone an IM at the perfect time.




Got a funny or embarrassing story to share? Use the comment box below

Monday, December 22, 2014

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


This article is back by popular demand

Christmas is fast approaching and I wanted to interview Santa because he is this holiday’s most popular mascot. However, it seems St. Nick was upset with me and too busy trying to re-edit the naughty list. Apparently someone hacked his computer and saved a bunch of avatars from receiving lumps of coal this year.  *innocent look*


I tried to interview Mrs. Clause but she declined my offer stating that they felt I was the culprit behind the hack attack. Not having much of a choice on who else to interview, I decided to ask one of Santa’s elves who was in a barn shoveling reindeer berries into a pile and going on a verbal rampage to himself.

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf





I approached him with caution in case he had the nerve to swing that shovel at me for sneaking up on him.


Lanai: Hi there Mr. Elf, I was in the area and was wondering if I can interview you about Christmas in Second Life. Do you have some time?

Elf: Hey Lanai what are you doing here?!? First of all, my name is Jeffrey and I don’t think you should be anywhere near Santa’s house. Word around the North Pole is you got into his naughty list and did some rearranging of names.


 Last night he went on a drunken rant about how you walk around the grid like you are the queen of Second Life and snooping around doing all kinds of mischief.

Lanai: Is that so?

Jeffrey the Elf: He has been watching you for some time now and is looking for a tabloid that will interview him for a tell-all about you. From what he was saying, you have been a very naughty girl and just a heads up… he has some paparazzi shots to prove it.


Lanai: So? I’ll admit I did a couple things this year that would totally cause a riot between my FWBs, things that would make a stripper blush, cause an intervention, or make my parents cry in shame but that’s my business!  I’m grown.

Jeffrey the Elf: I have to admit that is kind of hot and I wouldn’t mind being added to your FWB list.

Lanai: oh good grief.

Jeffrey the Elf: Anyway, Santa has a special present for you since you have been so bad on top of hacking his computer. He sent me out here to round up a steaming pile just for you.

Lanai: OMG are you serious? Whatever happened to being innocent before proven guilty ? Besides that, Jolly old St. Nick was going naughty list happy on all my friends. I had to do something!

Jeffrey the Elf: Well little lady you caused some serious havoc here in the North Pole! Santa was on a budget because of his gambling and drinking problem so some avatars had to be put on the naughty list. There are not enough of us elves to make up all the presents this year.


Lanai: Why? What happened to all the elves that handled the Christmas load last year?

Jeffrey the Elf: Well *looks around* Santa is cheap. Besides that, he really sucks as a boss, treating us like sweat shop workers.  Can you believe he tried to pay us with McDonald coupons for free Sundaes and 20% off Sleigh Rides around the Clause Family Compound. To top it all off,  as a bonus, he gave us each a fruitcake! 

Aside from all that, look what he has me doing now? If I didn’t need a place to stay I would be soaking up the sun on a nude beach somewhere on the other side of the grid.

Lanai: Interesting. SO anyway Jeffrey, is there a way you can sugarcoat Santa and all the wonderful things he does for others on Christmas? I want to give my readers a pleasant Christmas article.

Jeffrey the Elf: *Sighs* Santa is one of the kindness mascots you will meet.  He’s always jolly and…

Lanai: Ok nvm. That’s enough fluff.


Jeffrey the Elf: SO Lanai, how would you like this gift delivered?





Lanai: Ummm… send it to 945 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA 94111 C/O: Linden Lab









Merry Christmas SLE Fans. 

Have a Save and Happy Holiday!










Special Thanks to Phil & Glossom Jonesford

Friday, September 5, 2014

This goes out to the Haters of Second Life who just love to say things about me. Would you like a little Hateraid to help you swallow this jagged pill? – Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


How to Poke fun at the Nonsense:

As I sit back and write this all I can do is laugh at the middle school antics that occurs on a daily basis between people who like to talk about me and others in Second Life. Things always get back to me so I am fully aware of what is being said. Let me entertain you all with a few of the things that got back to me in recent days.

 Let’s begin with my favorite. Apparently I am a whore who sleeps around to get to where I am at in Second Life. The only thing I can say about that is thank goodness that SL sex is 100% birth control or I would have a united nation of prim babies running around with no baby daddy listed as my partner or helping me run The SL Enquirer.  Aside from that, It took me 9 long years and I am just exhausted already having to do work laying on my back or up on my hands and knees. Someone get me an ice pack and some knee pads pleeeease!




What I am wondering is, how exactly does prim sex help me in anyway unless I am in desperate need of reporting news inside my own SL bedroom? I guess to each his own right?  If all the guys, furries, trannies, women, bots, animals and plants out there that bedded me decide to speak out, go right ahead!  I forgot to get your number. I might want to call you again. Just remember, you can’t stay for breakfast.

The next piece of shittalk I’ve heard was, I’m too busy and I bail on projects. The “being too busy” part is absolutely true. I’m a pretty busy person working with people who want to work with me unless I’m off sleeping around like some insist I am doing lol….

Bailing on projects. Hmmm, sure I have done that a few times. It wasn’t because I was being lazy.  Some of it had to do with the person or people I had to work with who expect too much of me or overstepped what I was willing to do.

The other reason for having to bail is because I had real life things to attend to.  Either way, in Second Life, ideas happen and sometimes they never take off. If that was all my fault then I apologize for that.

Having a real life may be a surprise to some people who forget to clean their house or feed their family because they are too hooked on Second Life. Crucify me for being a no- show due to real life.



Another rumor that strikes me as odd is that I use people. Use them for what? Prims or content to put in my paper, that more than likely benefits them?  Anything else I need I can get on my own.  Come on Hater, you’re killing. What else ya got?

 In Second Life, you cannot take from anyone that is not willing to give you their time, lindens, objects or whatever else. So, this one seems to be a failed attempt at reaching for BS to pin on me.

The next one truly makes me laugh. According to a source close to me with “Lanai gossip meeting” connections let me know that there are a couple media sources in Second Life who are a bit ass hurt that The SL Enquirer received the Avi Choice award for favorite media source in 2013. They are complaining that SLE didn’t deserve it.  


Well, let me stand up on my soap box in all my glory with my award and say this, I didn’t vote for myself and I wasn’t even at the ceremony due to real life. That award could have been handed to them if they worked hard enough and their readers weren’t voting for me.

 Good luck this year to all media sources! If I don’t receive it, then I am happy for the media source that does. I understand the hard work put into media and the commitment needed so more power to them if they get to place that award in their media center for all to see.  

Crowns and titles are not my motivation to do what I do, the fans are and well…they voted so I suggest the haters should go complain to all of them.




Last but not least… rumor has it that I’m a bitch. Well I sure as hell can be when I need to go ice cold on someone.  I’m not going to sit back and not speak my mind when I have something to say or dislike how I’m being treated.  Why should I have to deal with people who love to dish out their BS and expect someone to kiss their ass?  Got a problem with me? Email me or show up at the media center. Otherwise look like an e-punk and run to someone else.

 I make no apologies for having to cut someone off or go off on who deserves it. Otherwise the only opinions that matters to me are from the people who know me best and have worked alongside me through the years.  I have to admit, it has been an amazing journey with the right people and they know who they are.

With that said, the next time one of those haters of Second Life decides to place my name in their conversations, they should make sure they are making an accurate statement and most importantly be aware of  whom they are sharing it with.  The worst backfire is that person just relaying the message back to me, while making fun of the hater.

 Not everyone is going to like what I do.  Big deal, all I can do is move forward and keep company that is worth having.  I know I can’t please everyone. Some people are just disgruntled unhappy folks that need a swift kick in the ass to get any kind of emotion out of them.

 Just remember if you are a hater,. unless you are a perfect saint with no faults, you have no business judging or hating on others. Do yourself a favor.  Shut up and worry about your own life and what you do. One day you may find yourself on the other end of the stick without a voice as loud as mine.  So to the haters, if you approach me and need something and your name is on my list of haters, you will know exactly where it will get you.

I understand as long as there is a need for conversation, there will be a need for gossip. For as long as I could remember Second Life has been the perfect forum for anonymous haters talking about others. Some get away with the things that they say and others receive the same foul tongued display that they shoveled out.


One of the things I realized being on the foul end of the stick by people who think they know me or pretend to be my friend is, as long as people mention my name ,good or bad, I am creating some kind of stir rather than being forgotten and unheard of.  So keep spreading my name across the grid, it is free advertising for me.

Even people who I have considered friends have plunged a knife in my back and still gracefully greet me with a smile. That’s ok fake hater. The way I see it is, when I log out at night I can lay back against my soft pillow and fall fast asleep knowing that I have poured hard work and dedication into what I have built in Second Life. I do what I love. Plain and simple and my true friends are a part of my SL experience.

The fake ones who stand on the sidelines squandering their time making me the topic of conversation are wasting away opportunity to do something that they can be proud of.  Instead, they focusing on what the next person is doing and trying to belittle them.  I call this the crab in the bucket syndrome. All they do is climb on top of everyone else to try to get ahead. The one thing I cannot stand is fake people or half assed friends. If you can’t keep it real, than keep it moving.

For the most part I do what I do and if people don’t like it, then they can put in their own efforts to find a better solution that doesn’t include SLE. Either way, hating on me because of the position I’m in, only shows jealousy and envy.




To the haters that smirk on that comment and try to deny their motives. Take a chill pill and ask yourself, what is the purpose for your foul comments? Do you think it will make me crumble like a house of cards or only make me stronger?

 You choose your poison.

 Just remember the minute you need me or SLE, I won’t be there to help you. I’ll be too busy working on projects and being involved with people who contribute something positive to the SL community.




Lanai Jarrico

Sunday, June 22, 2014

What's the Wildest Thing You've Ever Done In SL?- Ccoursey reporting...



I found out one thing when asking this question:  Everyone has different thoughts of wild.  The definition of wild is uncontrolled or unrestrained, especially in the pursuit of pleasure.  It seems some people were prone to stop talking and avoid the question completely, leaving me to only assume they thought I meant wild as in sexual. 






 It doesn't have to be, and the stories I ended up with will have you chuckling, giggling, or maybe thinking along the lines that "I've gotta try that".  Huge thanks to everyone who participated.

The man from this story agreed to participate as long as I kept his identity a secret.  So we'll call him John Doe.

Cris:  What's the wildest thing you've ever done in SL?

'John Doe':  Sex with me and five women- both pixels and skype all at the same time.

Friday, May 2, 2014

AVIE POLL: Catching Avies off Guard – Glossom Resident Reporting



What If a stranger contacted you to ask you something that makes no sense? Would you ignore it, reply nonsense back or would you try to understand?  Are second lifers humorous or grumpy? To which side the scale weighs more?




The SLE’s PE (SL Enquirer’s Private Eye) took action on finding the answer to those questions and went around asking avatars some very off tilt questions to see if and how they would respond. The result was simply hilarious.

With a stained reputation and a big label on my forehead saying “Crazy”, I have a feeling of mission accomplished. Today avatars will login to a more confused and hopefully humorous Second Life.

Given the nature of this mission, we will keep the participants names anonymous. Sit back, enjoy and try not to laugh. I challenge you!

Friday, October 18, 2013

Avie Poll: What Was Your Funniest Mistake in SL? – Glossom Resident Reporting…



“”Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes”,
-Oscar Wilde

Although Second Life is a place for socialization, experiences and new beginnings, it is also a place for mistakes. The description of mistake is very clear: errors in action. Everyday thousands of people login to SL, and when doing so they are prone to error.  The human propensity to blunder combined with an atmosphere where certain permissions or certain platform tools make it hard not to make a mess, result in embarrassing and funny stories that make Second Life a place to laugh.

 
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