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Showing posts with label holiday mascot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday mascot. Show all posts

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Interview with Cupid 2016- Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

Every Valentine’s Day it seems the previous Cupid quits his position, goes into hiding and it is taken over by someone new. This year I decided to appoint one very sexy avatar myself as Cupid 2016. He didn’t need to be in a competition nor did he sign up for the job. Based on his charm, outrageously chiseled abs, assortment of tattoos and piercings- I just knew he would be the perfect candidate. When I approached him, he didn’t even put up a fight. In fact, he gladly accepted the bow and arrow. So without further adieu, please meet Cupid 2016.

Lanai: FFS! I love my job. Hi there Cupid...thank you for allowing me to give you the title of Cupid 2016. Out of all the men I’ve stared down across SL, I have to say you caught my attention for this prestigious and very important position.

Cupid 2016: Thank you Lanai, it is my pleasure! Any man in their right mind wouldn’t turn down such a position. In case you are wondering how many positions I’m good at I can enlighten you after this interview.

Lanai: o.O Ohhh a bold one…. I certainly found the right guy for this position but I have to decline that offer. I am a professional. *slips her number under the table*
Soooooo Cupid… How do you intend on breaking in your new title?

Cupid 2016: First, I want to start by saying every woman in Second Life deserves to be treated like a queen with the exception of the drama queens who make other’s Second Life a "living nightmare."

Lanai: That is the sweetest thing to say, and I can certainly agree with you on the drama queens point. They never seem to learn their lesson. Well, we will let Santa deal with them.

Cupid 2016: Good Idea. But I doubt he will have enough coal for them all. So back to your question. My first order of business will have to be offering some advice to the “men” of Second Life. We all know the ratio of men vs. women is severely in need of a balance. There are so many women and not enough men. When you separate the boys from the men, the ratio is just so off balance, many women will be without Valentine’s this year.

Lanai: Very interesting observation Cupid. So what type of advice are you giving men?

Cupid 2016: I’m not here to blow smoke up anyone’s prims but I have to say men need to step up their game, especially when it comes to appearance. Mesh bodies are in, so all you cookie cutter avies out there with your twins running around, need to find their own identity already. It’s 2016. Once men realize women want to see a man who pays attention to detail, then finding and keeping a woman is more likely. It is common sense really.

Lanai: I agree. Besides appearance though, there’s has to be some substance to their personality too?

Cupid 2016: That should go without saying. Having respect for woman and being a gentleman is a lost art sad to say. What I have learned through my experience with countless women is they like to feel like they matter. It is the little things that count the most. Like surprises and thoughtful dates. But what I know for sure is women can thrive off three very important things.
1. Compliments
2. Sexy arm candy and
3. Shoes.
…...Not necessarily in that order though.

Lanai: Aww you are a romantic under all that body art and bad boy style. You also makes a lot of sense. But doesn’t it also apply to women to look their best for their man?

Cupid 2016: I try.
And to be completely honest for most SL men a nice pair of (BLEEPS) and a big round (BLEEP) are enough to keep them focused. For others, yes the ladies need to step up their game also and pay attention to how they dress and most importantly how they act. It shouldn't be one-sided.

Lanai: That’s true. Nurturing each other's needs is very important. What advice do you have for the ladies?

Cupid 2016: Well Lanai, not every lady shows the type of class you do. It takes a real woman to wear a suit like you do and be sexier than a woman with all her prims spilling out. It’s about how a woman carries herself. Confidence, class, creativity with the perfect amount of naughty.

Lanai: Thank you for the compliment. I see where you are coming from.

Cupid 2016: So Lanai, where’s your arm candy? Do you have a Valentine this year?

Lanai: Uhhhhh. I’m...well….Wait. How did this interview turnaround? Let’s just say I have a lot of shoes…

Cupid 2016: Are you telling me you have a fetish?

Lanai: No! I’m just saying… Let’s just move on. *blushes*

Cupid 2016: For such a social butterfly you seem to be struggling Ms. Jarrico. If you don’t have a Valentine, I’ll use my first arrow on anyone you choose. Just say the name and he’s yours.

Lanai: *facepalms*  Fine! shoot yourself in the a** for me and I’ll see you on Valentine’s Day...and if you are stuck on a gift idea, I wear a size 6 ½.

Cupid 2016: clever little devil aren't you…and be warned I wear a size 12 *smiles*

Lanai: O.o

Happy Valentine’s Day SLE Fans!

Monday, December 21, 2015

Interview with Santa- Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

Every year I try to get an interview with Jolly ol’ St Nick but he has avoided me for the past two years. After hanging outside his cottage interrogating elves for hours with a homemade fruitcake in hand and apologizing out loud for what I had done, finally Santa let me in and forgave me for infiltrating his naughty list and disturbing the peace. He agreed to an interview under two simple condition… that I stop harassing him and I behave myself.

Lanai: Santa, again I’m sooo sorry for breaking into the North Pole compound and removing all my friends from your naughty list, including myself. I thought I was doing a good deed at the time. Also, I felt it was unfair to put me on the list again.

Santa:Lanai, ever since you were a child I’ve watched you prank people for cheap laughs and do crazy things that would have gotten you paddled well into your 20’s but I’ve always seen a glimmer of hope in you, usually when you were sleeping. But! Nonetheless, I appreciate the apology but you have to stop being a pain in the ass. After all, It’s Christmas time and everyone deserve a little something special for the holidays.Consider this your Christmas present.

Lanai: Oh ok thank you... I am very grateful for this opportunity. Here is a special gift I made just for you. Enjoy.

Santa: Oh A fruitcake! How umm sweet...

Lanai: *smiles like an angel* So Santa… every year has its trends for the holidays. What type of gifts will you be giving the good people of Second Life around the world?

Santa: Well, this year is a bit odd I must say. *takes a bite of his fruitcake*  Mmmm this is actually pretty good!

Lanai: Thank you Santa. Believe me it gets better the more you eat. So why is this year odd?

Santa: Well it is election year so some of my requests were not actually gift requests for themselves. I keep getting asked to run for President. Something about I have better hair and I love everyone equally. I have a feeling there is a great deal of people worried about one of the candidates. But not to worry sweet child, if it is the one I am thinking, he’s at the top of my naughty list this year. Instead of giving  out lumps of coal, I thought I would save the environment and collect deer berries this year to give as gifts to the naughty ones..

Lanai:Great idea. I still remember the steaming pile you left under my tree the one year....Anyway, glad to see you are going organic again this year. I think I have an idea who that candidate might be and I couldn’t agree more. But I’m not going to get into politics.

Santa: HO HO HO! that was funny and yea good idea.

Lanai: o.O. Aside from that request, what others things are people asking for this year?

Santa: I’ve gotten some request for hover boards but due to the recent recalls for fire hazards, I’ve decided to make skateboards instead. Others just want money or Doomsday shelters fully loaded, but I can’t afford that.
My protection insurance is high enough these days, along with my electric bill. With the implementation of air conditioner units in the reindeer stables and new snow-making machines around the North Pole, I am limited. This global warming thing is getting out of control!

Lanai: Absolutely! I live in Pa and we have had 60 degree weather around here for the past week. It feels strange hanging Christmas lights outside in a t shirt and breaking into a sweat. I am sure people around the world are witnessing strange weather as well. Do you have any advice on what we should do about this global crisis?

Santa: Well Lanai, I think we would all have to go back into the stone age or something. To lower emissions and clean up our environment, we all need to be more organic for our own health and more responsible about what we contribute to this environment crisis. For example, grow our own crops, use outhouses, bicycles, solar power and stop burning fossil fuel. Also, FFS!  Stop all the harmful toxins that go into the air and the garbage that ends up in our oceans. It’s easy for us all to talk about but can we really all come together to save the planet? 

*offers Lanai some fruitcake*

Lanai: *thinks* Ok this is getting depressing…. *reaches for some fruitcake*

Santa: I have to say this fruitcake is making me feel kind of funny… What did you put in this?

Lanai: Not to worry Santa, some of the ingredients are homegrown and legal in most states now.  Anyways, I think it is great that you are thinking about our future and giving gifts that can help the environment.

Santa: Yes indeed but I have a confession to make.

Lanai: Oh? Do tell.

Santa: I’m not really Santa Claus. I am a M*****F******-ing Wizard!

Lanai: WTH?

Santa:WOW! Can’t you see all the psychedelic colors floating around? And my skin.. it feels so…. sensitive! *starts to removes his red suit*

Lanai: Noooooooo, I can never unsee this!

Santa: Watch this!

Lanai: OMG... 
*Trying to avoid looking at his twig and holly berries, Lanai watches in horror as Santa stands on his chair and pretends to surf naked*

Santa: I have an idea! Let’s get on the roof and attempt to fly like a drone super reindeer!

Lanai: A wise friend once said, "This can only end well". Ya know Santa…. I think I should get going and please don’t mention I was here or where you got that fruitcake ok?

Santa: Wait! I need a co pilot to help me drop reindeer berries!

Lanai: There goes Christmas!  I’m outta here….

Merry Christmas SLE Fans!

Friday, October 30, 2015

Halloween Interview Gone Wrong: Frankenstein’s Monster- Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

It’s that time of year when all the freaks come out. What better time than now to find me a Halloween mascot to interview? I grabbed my microphone and pounded the virtual pavement on my quest. From the start, I didn’t want to do the cliche interview with a vampire because that’s too easy. They are all over the grid.  Aside from that, they get freaked out by camera flashes and always seem to focus on my neck a little too much. This year I decided to interview with none other than Frankenstein’s monster. Unlike Vampires, Frankenstein’s monster is a harmless sentient creature who was create by an unorthodox scientist. He might be grotesque, but it doesn’t intimidate me.

Lanai: Hi Frankenstein’s monster! it is a pleasure to meet you. How will you be spending your Halloween this year?

Frankenstein’s monster: UUUUUUUhhh ahhh oooo ahhhhhhhhhhh arrrrrg! *blows raspberries*

Lanai: OK this is NOT going to work out….. *throws her notecard in the air and walks off*

Frankenstein’s Monster: NO Wait! Sorry just having a bad day.  To answer your question, everyday is like Halloween to me. Nothing special about it. I’m just out here looking for something….

Lanai: OH, you really can speak! Interesting. What are you looking for?

Frankenstein’s Monster: I’m almost embarrassed to say.  Recently I had a one night stand with Marilyn Munster and while she was….ummmm licking the Xcite lollipop, the stitches came loose and when I turned on the lights she ran off with it and threw it somewhere around here. To make a long story short, no pun intended..
*looks around*

Lanai: Ohhhhhh, I’m so sorry to hear that.  I guess they don’t make Xcite products like they used to… What are you going to use for now if you can’t find it?

Frankenstein’s Monster: *snatches Lanai’s microphone as she runs off screaming*