SLE Ticker

18 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at

Saturday, May 22, 2010

SPOTLIGHT FEATURE: Golden Hearts Jazz Ballroom Stacey Cardalines Reporting...

The basic recreation of the view that Mr. Cardalines had before Stacey completed her conquest of him...
A lot of people come up to me and say, "Stacey... you sure do a lot of sports... often ones that involve physical violence or ridiculously powerful machinery... do you have any sort of delicate, feminine side at all?"

Yes, I do.

One of my favorite places on this virtual earth we share is the Golden Hearts Jazz Ballroom. Run by our good friend Christabelle Vyper, GHJB is a sim dedicated entirely and 100% to Romance.

Everyone loves a good combat sim, or maybe even a ride on a Coast Guard cutter or something... but there comes a time in your life where you want formal attire, soft jazz in the background, and a night dedicated to beauty and grace.

OK.. maybe only HALF of you want that... but guys, you need to man up and take your woman somewhere maybe a little bit classier than Club Thigh or whatever usually passes for a date.

Golden Hearts is what you're looking for in that regard. Located on their own island, it is centered on a giant, elegant ballroom. It is built on Greek columns, and preceded by a 100 meter red carpet. The dance floor is more than wide enough to allow for a bit of pivacy, even if the ballroom's always full.

You start off in a reception area, where you can go to their small retail section (if you show up in jeans, you can shop your way out of trouble). A hostess is on hand (often me) to provide a tux for your date if he shows up dressed for a hip-hop show. There is an easily used teleporter that provides a fairly concise menu as to what GHJB is all about. One new feature they have is Karaoke, which is sure to be popular.

I like to loiter and man-hunt near the reception area, as my particular style of flirting is best served with me sort of pouncing on a gentleman before he's ready for it. You may want to work with a little more subtlety than I use, but I leave that up to you the reader.

Once you have the arm of a nice young man, it's up the red carpet. Prince Charles and Lady Diana crossed less plush scarlet rug going to their wedding than you will entering the ballroom... a small touch that the Frenchwoman in me recognizes and appreciates. Live royally, whenever you can.

From there, you can dance the night away. Click the poseball thingy on the roof, and- wherever you may have staked out- poseballs appear. Voila! This isn't that grand mal seizure-looking dancing one sees at the clubs... no, my friends, this is pure elegance.

If things go well with the young man/lady, walk over to one of the alcoves for a private talk overlooking the sea. If things go really well, head off to the Romantic Garden for a bit of quiet time. If things go REALLY well, there is a wedding chapel on the premises.

I believe that, due to the military-like regulations covering ballrooms, both Miss Vyper and her manager QueenB Fallen are authorized to perform the sacrement of marriage. As the ballroom is more than X amount of miles off the coast, propreitors of ballrooms can perform weddings through the same loopholes that allow ship captains to marry passengers. I can also marry you, as sportswriters are allowed such privileges due to reasons entirely unrelated to this spotlight feature.

Joking aside, this is probably SL's most romantic sim. Girls, this is what you've been looking for. Guys, this is where she wants to go. Single guys... unlike the rest of the world where girls are hard to figure out, this place is easy. If she's there, she wants to dance. The rest is up to you.

You've either forced her/been forced by him to go to NASCAR races, oil wrestling, vampire lairs, rugby, and the WWII sim... this is your payback. She can't complain to you if you take her to Golden Hearts Jazz Ballroom... unless you leave with someone else.

You should thank me for telling you... women are usually considerably more obtuse. Much like the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... the way to a woman's heart is through Golden Hearts Jazz ballroom. 


Post a Comment

Comments will be reviewed and posted within 24 hours. Please note any abusive content or outside promotional links may not be approved.