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18 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label Lanai Jarrico. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lanai Jarrico. Show all posts

Saturday, March 16, 2024

HOLIDAY MASCOT SERIES: Interview with a Female Leprechaun 2024- Lanai Jarrico Reporting

 



Before we get into this extra peculiar interview with this year’s St Patrick’s day mascot, I wanted to remind St Patrick’s Day fans what the holiday is really about since it seems to be associated with drinking….heavily.



  St Patricks Day was first officially observed in 1631 when the church put together a feast day honoring St Patrick; the Patron Saint of Ireland.


 Back story time… Did you know St Patrick was kidnapped from Britain and sold into slavery in Ireland when he was 16 years old.  He escaped six years later and vowed to convert Ireland into Christianity and vanquished all snakes from Ireland not that there were any there to begin with. I think it's a metaphor for banishing evil.


 He wasn’t Irish nor was Patrick his real name. It was derived from the word “Patricus' ' in Latin; meaning nobleman or father figure. His real name was Maewyn Succat and he claimed that he deserved being kidnapped because of his lack of faith in God. He also claimed to hear voices and have visions too. Kinda like Joan of Arc. That’s pretty deep ya’ll.




Besides that, green wasn’t his favorite color either. It was blue. But be careful though…. rumor has it, If you don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day, you might get pinched by a Leprechaun! 


Let me not even get started on the history of those holiday mascots...they are shoemakers that have some sort of fetish for gold that they hide at the end of a rainbow. If the gold is found, the little imp will grant three wishes.  Shrugs  I don’t know about you but I think it got a bit too Disney for me.


As far as the shamrock is concerned, there’s no evidence St Patrick was a gardener or ever wore a clover...It's a metaphor, a symbol for the holy trinity with the 3 leaves presenting the Father, the son and the holy spirit.


If we wanna throw it out there and keep it real. This holiday was really derived from Pagans,  there was a lot of that witchery going on back then. March 17th was originally Ostara; the spring equinox, celebrating rebirth and the balance of the universe but it got hijacked by another religion. Now it seems to hold no religious value at all.


I’m no historian or religious freak but I know a little somethin’.  I frankly don’t know what is being celebrated today though. It turned into a universal day of  heavy drinking, pub crawls, lots of green and a hangover the next day.


In Second life, the holiday is about venue hopping,music and dancing while double fisting virtual beverages. Our avatar is not responsible for our real person's consumption habits on this day or any other day for that matter.


 I think I like this version of holiday observation best because I can actually interview a leprechaun and not even feel weird about it.


 With that said…


St. Patrick’s day is right around the corner so off I ventured the grid in search of this year’s  little green dude to snatch up and interrogate errrr…. Interview. I went to my old haunt for holiday mascots and didn’t find any leprechauns at an AA meeting…oddly enough.


 I even tried looking for the end of a rainbow and it led me to an LGBTQIA club. I hung out there a bit with great music and friendly peeps,  then decided to go to the next best place…. The Blarney Stone -Irish Pub.



I was a bit hesitant to go inside at first because of past history that I do not care to discuss. Let’s just say it was so worth the SLE police report at the time lol.


Anyway, while ordering up a nice cold Guiness and scanning the place, I noticed what looked like a giant Leprechaun.  She seemed a bit intoxicated while dancing around and somewhat singing the lyrics to a song like a drunken karaoke superstar.


 I dropped my tab and tip on the bar and walked over to her. The first question I wanted to ask was where she shops when she voluntarily slurred out that she was a Leprechaun lookin for a good time. I found it a bit strange being that she was the height of an average avatar and that she was…. what appeared to be a woman…



Thinking to myself, this holiday cannot get any stranger with its constant evolution but decided I’ll interview her. What do I have to lose, except for readers who aren't into this crazy kinda shit.



INTERVIEW WITH JEZEBEL THE LEPRECHAUN


Lanai: Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you from across the room. I wanted to ask…


Jezebel: Hey beautiful. Come dance with me.


Lanai: Oh thank you for the offer but I wasn’t hitting on you. I just wanted to know where you shop. That is a creative outfit you have on.


Jezebel: Ohh my bad. I’m a Leprechaun.. Well half. My dad is… my mom…she’s an elf. I get my ears from my momma.


Lanai: Who’d you get the height from?


Jezebel: My mother told me to never ask her those types of questions... She was a drunk when I was conceived and barely remembers my dad.


Lanai: Sorry I didn't mean to get all personal.


Jezebel: Not at all. I’ve been trying to get him to take a paternity test but he refused to give up gold in child support.


Lanai: Dang, Sorry to hear all that.  I must say you are the first female leprechaun I’ve met or even heard of.


Jezebel: I get that all the time lol. I wasn’t born this way. With the abundance of acceptance in the SL community, my love of Lady Gaga and excessive amounts of makeup and lashes I am living my true self and loving it. 


Lanai: Well you go girl! Live your best Slife. There is nothing wrong with that!



Jezebel: Thank you! So you're a journalist huh?


Lanai: I’ve been called worse lol. Yes and was out looking for a Leprechaun to interview for St Patrick's day


Jezebel: Well you came to the right place honey. I’ll answer your questions since I’m technically one.


Lanai: *looks at her with a long contemplating stare*


Jezebel: What?



Lanai: This is the first time I'm lost for words. I don’t even know what to ask you.


Jezebel: I understand all that glitters is not gold and all those tacky sayings but you did hit the jackpot lady luck. I’ll be your best interview ever!


Lanai: Ok… So what are your plans for St. Patrick’s Day?


Jezebel: I really didn’t have any plans, I was hoping you could give me some ideas.


Lanai: What’s the point if a leprechaun doesn’t even have plans? I think most avies nowadays just treat it like another day in SL. Others, I suppose visit St. Patty’s Day themed events to take advantage of any contests or sales happening. Other than that, I’m as stumped as you are.



Jezebel: As a leprechaun and unofficial St. Patrick’s Day representative I propose that everyone visit The Blarney Stone Irish Pub. It’s as Irish as it gets in SL. *shrugs* Besides that, name dropping their venue in The SL Enquirer might get me some popularity points with management. I’ve been looking for a job.



Lanai: FFS… Would you happen to know where the Easter Bunny likes to hang out?



Jezebel: Umm. Why am I suddenly feeling used for your next interview project?



Lanai:  Well yeah, thank you for the inspiration. I  wish you luck with your new job if you get it.




Jezebel: Thanks. Sorry gotta run!  my wife just pulled into the driveway, I was supposed to take chicken out of the freezer a couple hours ago to defrost. 


*oops* I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t mean to type that in open chat.



Lanai: *stares in disbelief*






Sometimes you have to admit defeat, even in the writing game. Not all interviews come easy and this one just baffled the hell out of me.


*Cheers* 


 Happy St Patrick's day!




Thursday, March 14, 2024

MARCH 15TH, another batch of UNOFFICIAL HOLIDAYS- Lanai jarrico Reporting...

 


As if I don’t have enough fluff to contribute this week in the news. Today; March 15th, is yet another Unofficial holiday of sorts! Not as many holidays as yesterday but there’s a few I wanted to observe. I have no clue where peeps come up with this shit but here goes…





International Every Girl Wins Day!


Ok Ladies, if you are a working mom then you had your moment yesterday but nowhere on the internet says you can’t observe today too! Go buy a lotto ticket, pick a fight with your significant other, buy new shoes, get a manicure and live your best Life! You are a winner in whatever you decide to do today! I decided to hit Bad Vegas and maybe take my chances at this diner.


Bad Vegas: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ekota/250/197/83




FILL OUR STAPLER DAY


I wish I knew some fun facts about this outrageous unofficial holiday. I picture some office worker all upset because it's the end of the day and they just have to finish up some final paperwork for a meeting in the morning. As they reach for their handy stapler, it’s empty. Everyone else went home for the day and the supply cabinet was locked. They were banned from touching other colleagues' stuff due to a missing lunch from the fridge caught on camera. One more infraction and they will get fired. WELL WTF!!!! would be my choice of words. The organizer of this unofficial holiday must have been pissed.




K-9 VETERANS DAY


Ok now, I can muster up a level of decorum and not make a joke about everything. This day is deserved for all the K-9’s that had a hand in busting a bunch of peeps in the drug game, in particular when weed was illegal, now I’m sure those same peeps don’t care much for this furry officer after serving some time.  Anyways, Congrats and thank you to the K-9 Vets for your service. Spend the day gnawing on your favorite bone, it’s deserved!

Good thing mine is retired!




L. Ron Hubbard Day


OK this guy was a famous science fiction and fantasy writer and today is his birthday. He’s responsible for Scientology. Either you believe in it or you don’t but the dude caught Tom Cruise’s attention and a plethora of other celebrities some of which left the church over some shady shit. Let me stop talking before I have peeps following me around town.



National Coconut Torte Day


What in the actual  EFF is this? The origin of this day is unknown but if I took a stab at the reasoning, it must have been because someone really loved it so much they made it an official holiday or it really sucks and it was a way to keep unannounced visitors away. *shrugs*








National Earmuff Day


How embarrassing! What are we in the third grade or something? Who does this anymore and if parents still strap these things to their kid’s heads and send them off to school, shame on them!  They are contributing to bullying. Just stop. I’m unofficially canceling this unofficial holiday once and for all!




National Good Samaritan Day


I thought long and hard about this one. I celebrate this unofficial holiday every day with the exception of  Friday nights…. It just so happens that today is Friday and I’m about to pick up a bottle of wine after work to ring in the weekend of unadulting and a big fat hangover the next day. I promise I’ll be good on Monday!




National Jewel Day


I’m not sure if I should splurge on a nice piece of jewelry today or just put on every ring in my inventory and walk around SL like I have on a Mr. T start up kit. Some of these holidays make no dang sense…




National No Smoking Day


Ok hold on a second now.. It’s good samaritan day too on a Friday and now we are encouraged to not smoke today… I get it.  Nicotine is bad so this day is to help folks lay off the cigarettes. Noone said anything about weed though… It’s legal in Jersey so right after I hit up the liquor store I’m stopping by the dispensary.



National Open an Umbrella indoors day


Yea EFF that, My grandmother always told me it was bad luck.


Registered Dietician Nutritionist Day


Have an apple and drink plenty of water.




Ken Day


Yes we are talking about Barbie’s on and off again sweet, supportive and loyal boyfriend. Today is his day. I really don’t have anything to say about this. I would find a boyfriend like that to be annoying AF, especially on a Friday night…



Happy March 15th Everyone. Spend the day doing whatever it is you want to do, Tomorrow is another holiday…


Monday, March 11, 2024

Let's celebrate march 12th- Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

 


Today is a reason to Celebrate! Not just because waking up everyday is a reason but did you know there are unofficial holidays today? Some weird and some wacky but hey there’s something for everyone. I got up bright and early to get ready for the long day of festivities.



World against Cyber Censorship Day


Let’s begin with today being the unofficial World against Cyber Censorship Day. It was first observed on March 12, 2008 by reporters without Borders and Amnesty International. 

 Lemme draw some attention to this day and just mention how some governments around the world like to deter and censor free speech online. Shame on them!  If you ain’t out here giving hate speeches and just being a random stupid blogger about nonsense to stir up the masses,  this day is one to observe. If you like to voice opinions and share information in a peaceful and informative manner without all the ugly have a great day and fight for freedom of expression online! Send The SL Enquirer a press release. It's free today!


Submit your press release here! 



Girl Scout Week Kicks off today!


For those of you who were once a Girl Scout or have daughters in the business of sellin those delicious cookies outside of Walmart and Petco, then cheers to you. Celebrate this day if you are a fan of Girl Scouts and buy some cookies and help support their cause!






Plant a Flower Day!


With the weather starting to warm up and Spring just around the corner, now is the time to plant a seed for national Plant a flower day! If you got a medical marijuana card, plant the other kinda flower. 4/20 is Next Month…Just sayin.


Green Society: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Girotte/36/81/39





Lanai workin the pole with no shame



National Working Moms Day


Hey ladies, if you got kids, chores and errands to run, Celebrate today for being a Super mom and throwing a job into your daily routine. Being just a housewife is kinda outdated if you ask me. Handling your business like a boss is something to celebrate!




Equal Pay Day


Pffft. I’m a woman, I’m still waiting on that big fat raise. I’ll celebrate when I get it…






Alfred Hitchcock Day


Ok now this one I’m not too sure about. If you are a fan of vintage nerve-wracking suspense and twisted endings, then bust out your VHS tapes and slap an old Hitchcock movie in your VCR (if you even own one). I mean.. How else would you celebrate this day? Go to an SL movie theater and add popcorn to the mix?


SYC Movie Theater: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Coral%20Yellow/176/138/23




World Glaucoma Day


Ok peeps if you have been putting off eye exams and need new glasses, or you can’t see for shit without them (like me) why not make an appointment? Ask your ophthalmologist if they are giving discounts for Glaucoma Day… Worth given it a shot *shrugs*


Deep Static Eyewear: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/SeraphimSL/126/203/22




National Organize your office day


If you been meaning to clear your desk of random paper stacks, used post it notes and an assortment of other messes like a 4 day old coffee mug with a sip left in it, take the time today to do one clean swipe into the trash bin nearby and get it done and over with.


The Office: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Surreale/169/223/3003




Brain Injury Awareness Month.


 If you have ever been asked by a parent or friend “What the hell is wrong with you?”, you may be a candidate to celebrate this day, otherwise call someone who has or had brain trauma and just let them know you are thinking about them. I know when I got out of a coma it made me feel good when peeps asked how I was doing.  There’s a cool educational sim in Second life you can also visit to learn more about Brain health. 


WBH ( Whole brain health) Check it out here: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiration%20Island/133/31/26






Adopt-a-rescued-Guinea Pig Month


 March is the unofficial  Adopt-a-rescued-Guinea Pig Month.  FFS...Nuff said.


Aeon Pets: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fama/42/78/1001


So there you have it, a fun filled day of shit to do for March 12th!


Wednesday, February 14, 2024

INTERVIEW WITH CUPID 2024 Lanai Jarrico Reporting…




Last year’s Cupid managed to pull off a flawless Valentine’s Day, connecting couples and helping aid the population growth on the grid. It wasn’t from any *clears throat* threats or anything. However, once his assignment was done I heard “Bob” collected his payout, changed his identity and hopped on a plane to an undisclosed location never to be heard from again. Typical of a dead beat prim baby daddy.



 Once again, I had to find another Valentine’s Day mascot to fill his speedos and wings and made sure this one was a sharp shooter. (so I thought) I went back to the only place known to have a high volume of holiday Mascots in attendance;  An AA Meeting (Avatars Anonymous).


 It didn’t take long to spot the perfect one for the Job. Meet Alejandro, this year’s Cupid…





Lanai: Hi Alejandro, thank you for willingly accepting the position to take on the very important task of Cupid. Not every day can you shoot someone with an arrow and it's totally legal, in fact welcomed by lonely souls seeking Love on Valentine’s Day.


Alejandro: Lanai, thank you for the job offer. I have been searching for one in Second life with no real luck since getting out of rehab. It seems the only jobs available these days, aside from escorting and stripping, are club host and the occasional fluffer for adult machinima. They definitely don’t pay enough for those short films.



Lanai: I wouldn't know… but with a name like Alejandro, you seem to fit the criteria I am looking for to fill the position for Cupid 2024. Can I ask who your hairstylist is cause maaan, you are rockin those waves!


Alejandro: Oh thank you, *flips hair*.  His name is Glitter Fancypants, would you like his number? So… when would you like me to start?





Lanai: Nah, I’m OK thank you. First things first, you need an authentic Cupid Uniform. This year let's add a little spice to the mix. According to my comment box, a lot of avatars are looking more for flings rather than long term commitments. Swinging and swapping seem to be the new craze so what I would like you to do is recruit associates to assist you in matchmaking. Kinda like a Love Coaching Squad!




Alejandro:  Interesting… I guess I can recruit some of my ex-fluffer co-workers to assist, They have been looking for supplemental income. We’ve all been squatting together in an abandoned free linden home and it’s getting kinda tight.


Lanai: I’m all for helping avies climb out of SL poverty if they are able to maintain a job.  I have only one concern about your roommates. They are not allowed to use arrows on themselves. Word on the street is some fluffers have addiction problems and I’m not going to supply and contribute to it. You included.


Alejandro: I understand.. Never get high on your own supply. The greatest rapper ever; Big Poppa coined that phrase in 10 Crack commandments.


Lanai: I love Big Poppa. He certainly was a lyrical genius. Rest his soul.


Alejandro: Yea so, once I gather my crew, What would you like us to do first?


Lanai: Take showers and maybe make an appointment with Glitter and I will supply the uniforms. *hands him some money to pay his utility bills to ensure he has hot water*


Alejandro: You are too kind Ms Jarrico. We will not disappoint!


Lanai: Come see me in a week for your uniform fittings and from there I will interview your squad and possibly assign you all different regions to help the lonely souls of SL find Love.


Alejandro: See you soon you earth angel!


Lanai: I’ve been called many things, but that’s a first!  *smirks as she watches him prance off filled with joy*






ONE WEEK LATER


Alejandro: Lanai! I’d like to introduce you to the new Cupid Crew!  ChizelChest, CherryPie, ChocolateStar and Steve!


Lanai: Quite the batch of superhero rejects you brought back to me. Excuse me my filter doesn’t seem to be working….What is this? *sighs*, we have A LOT of work to do… Please follow me….


*hears whispers from the crew as they follow along*




Lanai: OK, as you all know you were….hand picked *rolls eyes* by Cupid *stares him down all disappointed*.... To assist with spreading Love across the grid and bringing avies together. Let me start by asking each of you what you feel you are bringing to the table for Valentine’s day?


Chisel Chest: *hesitates for a moment* Ms Jarrico, I just have to say I’m a big fan! I have followed your articles for years and I have to say… you are just the most amazing, talented beauty I have ever seen. What I’d like to bring to the table are these amazing pecs. *bounces them as a demonstration*


Lanai: Good lord. *turns her attention to CherryPie*


CherryPie:  Hi Ms Jarrico, unlike ChiselChest over here trying to impress you with that unique ability, let me show you what I can do. *gets down on the ground and twists her body into a pretzel. *struggles to speak* Being flexible is a major turn on and I’m here to teach the ladies how to attract a man *gasps for air*


Lanai: Ummm. Are you ok? Alejandro, can you please help her up?


Alejandro: *struggles to untwist her*


Lanai: for crying out loud you two look like you are playing geriatric twister… just… twist her arm back and move her leg the other way…. Omg you know what…. * SMH* What a disaster this is going to be….*looks at Steve* Please tell me you aren’t in the circus…


Steve: No mame.


Lanai: mame?



Steve: *clears throat* Ms Jarrico.


Lanai: *smiles and nods* So Steve, what is it YOU are bringing to the table?



Steve: I’m sure you are going to do  background checks, so I just wanted to put it out there so there are no surprises….. I was arrested at the Crack Den in 05’ for attempting to solicit a static prostitute. When she didn’t respond to my advances we got into a fistfight with me getting arrested for damaging an unmanned Alt and causing the failing venue to deteriorate even more. Since then, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m now visiting spiritual sims to redeem myself.


Lanai: I knew there was a reason you have a mustache like that!  Is there not one normal person in this room? Steve, I just don’t even have the words to respond to that and I’ve heard a whole lot of crazy ass stories throughout my SLife. Beating up a mannequin has got to be the lowest of the low on the totem pole of stupidity. What exactly are you bringing to the table?


Steve: *runs off crying*


Lanai: *looks at Chocolate Star*


ChocolateStar: * Twirls her hair while chewing gum and snapping selfies*


Lanai: ANYWAY….What a p****y… Alejandro, I’m so disappointed. Are you trying to sabotage Valentine’s Day or is this really the best you can do? You know what? You are all fired! I’m taking on the role of Cupid myself.



Alejandro: But Ms Jarrico….. In the history of Valentine’s Day… There has never been a female Cupid. Are you sure you want to do this?


Lanai: If you don’t get your ass out of here right now… I’m calling Josh.



 Alejandro: Say no more… *gets out in a hurry and take his clown crew with him*




Sorry SLE fans, I tried. I’m not sure I can bring anything to the table as a female Cupid. However, the best I can do is tell you all to find that perfect Valentine on your own and do with them what you want. Keep 'em, love em,  pop out some mesh babies, have a one night stand,  a throuple or do whatever it is you want to do on Valentine’s Day. Just don't go looking for love at an AA meeting.  Be happy, smile and enjoy the day. If you don’t hear the words “I love you….” Then the people around you are missing out on the amazing person you are. Love yourself and cherish it.


Happy Valentine’s day.



Lanai



 
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