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18 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at
Showing posts with label Lanai Jarrico. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lanai Jarrico. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

INTERVIEW WITH CUPID 2024 Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Last year’s Cupid managed to pull off a flawless Valentine’s Day, connecting couples and helping aid the population growth on the grid. It wasn’t from any *clears throat* threats or anything. However, once his assignment was done I heard “Bob” collected his payout, changed his identity and hopped on a plane to an undisclosed location never to be heard from again. Typical of a dead beat prim baby daddy.

 Once again, I had to find another Valentine’s Day mascot to fill his speedos and wings and made sure this one was a sharp shooter. (so I thought) I went back to the only place known to have a high volume of holiday Mascots in attendance;  An AA Meeting (Avatars Anonymous).

 It didn’t take long to spot the perfect one for the Job. Meet Alejandro, this year’s Cupid…

Lanai: Hi Alejandro, thank you for willingly accepting the position to take on the very important task of Cupid. Not every day can you shoot someone with an arrow and it's totally legal, in fact welcomed by lonely souls seeking Love on Valentine’s Day.

Alejandro: Lanai, thank you for the job offer. I have been searching for one in Second life with no real luck since getting out of rehab. It seems the only jobs available these days, aside from escorting and stripping, are club host and the occasional fluffer for adult machinima. They definitely don’t pay enough for those short films.

Lanai: I wouldn't know… but with a name like Alejandro, you seem to fit the criteria I am looking for to fill the position for Cupid 2024. Can I ask who your hairstylist is cause maaan, you are rockin those waves!

Alejandro: Oh thank you, *flips hair*.  His name is Glitter Fancypants, would you like his number? So… when would you like me to start?

Lanai: Nah, I’m OK thank you. First things first, you need an authentic Cupid Uniform. This year let's add a little spice to the mix. According to my comment box, a lot of avatars are looking more for flings rather than long term commitments. Swinging and swapping seem to be the new craze so what I would like you to do is recruit associates to assist you in matchmaking. Kinda like a Love Coaching Squad!

Alejandro:  Interesting… I guess I can recruit some of my ex-fluffer co-workers to assist, They have been looking for supplemental income. We’ve all been squatting together in an abandoned free linden home and it’s getting kinda tight.

Lanai: I’m all for helping avies climb out of SL poverty if they are able to maintain a job.  I have only one concern about your roommates. They are not allowed to use arrows on themselves. Word on the street is some fluffers have addiction problems and I’m not going to supply and contribute to it. You included.

Alejandro: I understand.. Never get high on your own supply. The greatest rapper ever; Big Poppa coined that phrase in 10 Crack commandments.

Lanai: I love Big Poppa. He certainly was a lyrical genius. Rest his soul.

Alejandro: Yea so, once I gather my crew, What would you like us to do first?

Lanai: Take showers and maybe make an appointment with Glitter and I will supply the uniforms. *hands him some money to pay his utility bills to ensure he has hot water*

Alejandro: You are too kind Ms Jarrico. We will not disappoint!

Lanai: Come see me in a week for your uniform fittings and from there I will interview your squad and possibly assign you all different regions to help the lonely souls of SL find Love.

Alejandro: See you soon you earth angel!

Lanai: I’ve been called many things, but that’s a first!  *smirks as she watches him prance off filled with joy*


Alejandro: Lanai! I’d like to introduce you to the new Cupid Crew!  ChizelChest, CherryPie, ChocolateStar and Steve!

Lanai: Quite the batch of superhero rejects you brought back to me. Excuse me my filter doesn’t seem to be working….What is this? *sighs*, we have A LOT of work to do… Please follow me….

*hears whispers from the crew as they follow along*

Lanai: OK, as you all know you were….hand picked *rolls eyes* by Cupid *stares him down all disappointed*.... To assist with spreading Love across the grid and bringing avies together. Let me start by asking each of you what you feel you are bringing to the table for Valentine’s day?

Chisel Chest: *hesitates for a moment* Ms Jarrico, I just have to say I’m a big fan! I have followed your articles for years and I have to say… you are just the most amazing, talented beauty I have ever seen. What I’d like to bring to the table are these amazing pecs. *bounces them as a demonstration*

Lanai: Good lord. *turns her attention to CherryPie*

CherryPie:  Hi Ms Jarrico, unlike ChiselChest over here trying to impress you with that unique ability, let me show you what I can do. *gets down on the ground and twists her body into a pretzel. *struggles to speak* Being flexible is a major turn on and I’m here to teach the ladies how to attract a man *gasps for air*

Lanai: Ummm. Are you ok? Alejandro, can you please help her up?

Alejandro: *struggles to untwist her*

Lanai: for crying out loud you two look like you are playing geriatric twister… just… twist her arm back and move her leg the other way…. Omg you know what…. * SMH* What a disaster this is going to be….*looks at Steve* Please tell me you aren’t in the circus…

Steve: No mame.

Lanai: mame?

Steve: *clears throat* Ms Jarrico.

Lanai: *smiles and nods* So Steve, what is it YOU are bringing to the table?

Steve: I’m sure you are going to do  background checks, so I just wanted to put it out there so there are no surprises….. I was arrested at the Crack Den in 05’ for attempting to solicit a static prostitute. When she didn’t respond to my advances we got into a fistfight with me getting arrested for damaging an unmanned Alt and causing the failing venue to deteriorate even more. Since then, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m now visiting spiritual sims to redeem myself.

Lanai: I knew there was a reason you have a mustache like that!  Is there not one normal person in this room? Steve, I just don’t even have the words to respond to that and I’ve heard a whole lot of crazy ass stories throughout my SLife. Beating up a mannequin has got to be the lowest of the low on the totem pole of stupidity. What exactly are you bringing to the table?

Steve: *runs off crying*

Lanai: *looks at Chocolate Star*

ChocolateStar: * Twirls her hair while chewing gum and snapping selfies*

Lanai: ANYWAY….What a p****y… Alejandro, I’m so disappointed. Are you trying to sabotage Valentine’s Day or is this really the best you can do? You know what? You are all fired! I’m taking on the role of Cupid myself.

Alejandro: But Ms Jarrico….. In the history of Valentine’s Day… There has never been a female Cupid. Are you sure you want to do this?

Lanai: If you don’t get your ass out of here right now… I’m calling Josh.

 Alejandro: Say no more… *gets out in a hurry and take his clown crew with him*

Sorry SLE fans, I tried. I’m not sure I can bring anything to the table as a female Cupid. However, the best I can do is tell you all to find that perfect Valentine on your own and do with them what you want. Keep 'em, love em,  pop out some mesh babies, have a one night stand,  a throuple or do whatever it is you want to do on Valentine’s Day. Just don't go looking for love at an AA meeting.  Be happy, smile and enjoy the day. If you don’t hear the words “I love you….” Then the people around you are missing out on the amazing person you are. Love yourself and cherish it.

Happy Valentine’s day.


Friday, January 5, 2024

Misadventures of Fetish Club Hoppin’ in SL- Lanai Jarrico

Ever hear of vore RP?  No? Me either up until recently after 18 years in SL.  Let me explain…. I went out for a night on the town with Josh, my top writer as my wingman. He told me I need some excitement in my SLife. I agree but daaaaamn. I’m down for being spanked and getting my hair pulled and all that kinky stuff but this little tiny lizard approached me in a club and asked if I ever did vore rp. I stood there perplexed and felt like a deer in headlights in the middle of the dancefloor and nearly stepped on the Geico lookin mascot.

[19:59] “Little Lizard”: Hey, do you rp vore? :)

[20:00] Lanai Jarrico: What is that?

[20:01] “Little Lizard”: Vore is a roleplay where you'd swallow a micro like me whole. There is no chewing/scat or anything of the sort. It can be sexual and can involve other fetishes such as sub/domme or feet. It's fun to try if you think you'd consider trying sometime?

[20:03] Lanai Jarrico: um never heard of it and not sure thats something id like to try. [20:03] “Little Lizard”: No worries, perhaps another time.

It sounds like a choking hazard. I doubt I’ll change my mind…

Josh AKA “Wingman”:  OMG.  The Boss is feeling “feisty”  I remember the last time this happened, she ended up being banned from THREE regions.  Now Lizard Boy has her thinking is it her MOUTH he wants access to. Can’t let that happen again! Why isn’t there a mongoose around to take care of this pest? I’ll just stick close and keep an eye on things.”

 I have to admit, I am rusty at my approach and how I react to being accosted by men… err lizards in clubs. In this case a booger sized lizard at my feet. With my wingman in tow, I felt safe enough to move along to average sized avatars and randomly approach  men and throw cheesy unsolicited lines at them to see what sticks. On top of that, I was sober…. So this went as well as one could expect from someone who hasn't been on the dating scene in a long time.

Josh: OK…this might not be so bad.  One or two quick dances, and then I will try and steer her back home where she can sleep it off. Not sure if she’ll go.  She has been raving all night about some “incredible edibles”  whatever THAT is.  Must be some new kind of candy.

I couldn't help myself when I spotted a handsome avie by the name of Dany pop lockin and droppin it on the dancefloor. I just had to IM him as I stood close to Josh for moral support and an easy escape plan.

It went a little something like this…lets just call him …Dany.

[20:27] Lanai Jarrico: Hey Dany, are you into sucking mayonnaise covered toes?

[20:28] Dany : haahahahaha don't know never tried that

[20:29] Lanai Jarrico: Bring tomatoes and a slice of cheese and we can make a cheap sandwich

[20:30] Dany: and who is bringing bread

[20:30] Lanai Jarrico: I said cheap lmao

OK it’s obvious, I don’t have any game and I can’t be taken seriously sober ... .Josh grabbed my hand and got me out of there before a food fetish fight broke out.

Next stop was DSC ake Dog Sex Club. I’m not sure why I even landed there but it happened. I mean… I am a pet lover like the next person but  this place was definitely not for me…. I was gone before anybody said a word.  I think you need a rabies shot to cross the yellow ban lines.

However, It did get a glimpse of what appeared to be a wolf standing upright in a speedo next to a scantily clad bunny rabbit. I didn’t stick around long enough to see what happens when a wolf meets a rabbit. Something tells me… it would have gotten really ugly and I would have been traumatized for the rest of my Slife.

Josh:  Yeah.  Thank goodness we didn’t stay long, and the SL Enquirer budget did not allow us to o cheap to spring for the 150L Group joining fee.  I guess she could have handled the Dalmations if push came to shove…..but it got really sketchy when I saw her being eyed by a couple of Clydsdales. Time to skedaddle,. That’s for sure!

Next stop The Cuckholding Wife…

Ahhhh yes! What strong minded woman wouldnt want to collar her man and make him watch as she did the nasty with a random dude and then make him clean up the mess. I had to break the ice…but just before I could muster up another embarrassing pick up line… I got an IM from  “Roam”. Here's how that went down.

[20:51] Roam:  good evening

[20:52] Lanai Jarrico: Hello to you

[20:52] Roam: how are you doing?

[20:53] Lanai Jarrico: I'm great. How do you feel about rolling in canola oil and spam while pouring hot sauce all over me?

[20:53] Roam: here for a story or pleasure?

[20:53] Lanai Jarrico: both

Sighs… I don’t think fetish club hopping is my thing. I just don’t know how to act.

Josh AKA “Wingman”: Whew.  Finally dragged her out of there. Now she wants to go to a place called Maui

OK, One last hurrah before I commit myself to just being a reporter and trying to keep myself out of trouble….

Josh AKA “Wingman”:  Finally!  The LAST stop of the night. A place called Maui Swinger Resort.  Arghghghg.  She actually asked me if there were teeter totters and slides in addition to the “swings”? Geeeeze.  That woman is going to get in serious trouble out here…and not by any kindergarten cops on the playground.

I put my Novice tag on and stripped down to a Bikini. The music was good and I was workin the boardwalk dancefloor with my best hip hop dance moves. I was feeling good and trying to read the room. Not much was happening except for a bunch of avatars in IMz standing around, some getting it on on the scattered beach chairs and beds and others just chillin at the bar. It didn't take long before the IMz started rolling in. One was surprised that I was “still” a Novice looking as good as I did and he offered to “help me out”. Apparently you have to gain referrals by givin up the goods and demonstrating your emote skills to a Maui Swinger in order to move on up the slut chain.  I aint about that fuckery so I called it a night and took my sorry ass to bed.

Wingman Josh:  OK.  Finally got her settled down.  I am torn in my duties as Wingman.  Do I stay with her and give my intimidating stare at any jerk who tries to get close?  Or do I move away and watch her from a block away, scoping out any who approach her and doing a quick background investigation using the Linden Lab police records so I can toss any obvious bad actors?  Just as things are settling down, she tells me she just got a IM from some dude she used to date named “XXX” and he wants her to “come back to his skybox to see his etchings.  OMG!  ETCHINGS?  This guy sounds like a reject from the cast of Saturday Night Live. Crap…She’s going with him.  I guess I will have to wait and get a full debirie tomorrow. 

Last night got nowhere fast, the “candy” I had before my outing with Josh was wearing out and I found myself yawning uncontrollably while “XXX” whispered sweet nothings in my ear. Nothing happened… I promise. I basically wished him a good night and went home, laid in bed and added an entry to my diary.

Saturday, December 30, 2023

NEW YEAR... NEW BEGINNINGS-Lanai Jarrico Reporting...


With the New Year comes change. As hard as it can be to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, make resolutions that you intend to keep and do better for yourself in 2024, isn’t that the ultimate goal in life?  Looking back at the past year I’m sure some peeps are shaking their heads thinking ”WTF was that?” While others are finding their groove in life realizing peace matters and change is needed to create a positive environment. This also includes taking an inventory of your friends and distance yourself from those who disrupt your peace.  I’m down with that.  

Starting off the New Year, all I want is to be happy, live and let live.  It holds different meanings to everyone. For me, I just want to feel empowered as a strong woman and make the right decisions while navigating through life. Remember to allow time for self care and not worry about the extra noise.   I’m making 2024 my year of renewal and cleansing my space from any negative energy. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let that shit go.

In the real world, we are the masters of our destiny just like in Second Life. This is an escape from the real world for a little while where we can be individually creative or collaborate with others. I’mm already getting the ball rolling for the New year in the real world and it's time to do the same in Second Life.  It is little things like this that can make you smile and feel refreshed. 

I was inspired to write this because after 18 years in Second Life, I realized I could abandon my  free vintage dojo premium member home and relocate to a new SL house. I didn’t pay attention to the free Linden homes since I spend most of my time at The Media center but sometimes it's nice to retreat back to your own little space to create that SL work/life balance.

To begin,  go to and log in. Go to Account> Land Manager>”Linden Home”.  That's where you will find your existing home if you have one already or click the link to get one. (You have to be a premium member)  I toured models until I found something I liked.

Once you choose the style you want you will get a link to teleport to your new home! I was surprised to see the quality of the various home styles and layouts to choose from. It was easy to do. I must say, SL really stepped it up!

 The bigger surprise is, you can still swap your house out with any of the styles in the rezzer with 8 or more homes to choose from as well as a Linden Homes Security System.

 It doesn’t stop there! The house itself comes complete with a decorate feature inside so you can customize walls colors, floors,wood trim, doors and windows in your new home.  

 For premium members,  The parcel size is 1024 sq meters and 351 prims to use. You get a little more space and perks if you are a Premium Plus member.

I was able to decorate my home using low land impact furnishings I scored at Maya’s Architecture. You won't be disappointed by the quality and prices!


Sl Marketplace store: 

Here are some pictures of the interior

Now that you got the step by step on how to get a free Linden house, I wish you the very best in your new beginnings! Have a blessed New year!

Monday, December 11, 2023

SL Police Report: BREAKING NEWS! Santa Got Sleigh Jacked!- The SL Enquirer reporting...


At approximately 6:52 pm SLT on December 11th, witnesses reported Santa got knocked out cold with a pile of gifts launched by an assailant who looked strikingly similar to Lanai Jarrico. 

One witness saw a woman dressed in a full length faux fur coat, hurling profanities and saying something about the worst Tinder date ever before proceeding to launch gifts at Santa.  Another witness was scared to identify the attacker for fear of retaliation, citing, “snitches get stitches”

Cameras captured the moment the attacker leaped into Santa’s Sleigh and took off. Calls to Lanai Jarrico’s rep were immediately answered and her alibi was established. She was writing an article at the time of the attack and waiting for her Instacart order so it would not have been possible. Her rep went on to say Ms. Jarrico has a doppelganger that goes around Second Life impersonating her for tips and frequents strip clubs as a guest dancer.

 Lanai is embarrassed and offended for being accused of attacking Santa Clause and feels it will ruin her reputation. As far as accusations of stripping, she said, “It wasn’t me but if it was, stripping is a serious sport that shouldn’t be frowned upon.”. She wants to press charges for slander immediately following the arrest of the perpetrator.

One reporter managed to get a quick comment from Santa before he passed out and was rushed to the nearest Veterinary clinic by Rudolph for observation.

 Santa mumbled what the reporter made out to be “Ho Ho Ho” but after reviewing his Instagram live recording, it turned out that he really cried out “That Hoe Ow Ow”.

Santa was treated and released for a concussion, bruises and several lumps a few hours later into the custody of his estranged wife, Mrs. Clause.

If anyone has any information regarding this atrocity, share in the comment box below

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Halloween Destinations in Second Life- Lanai Jarrico Reporting...


Halloween originated by the Ancient Celts with an annual pagan festival of Samhain to welcome the harvest at the end of Summer. It was celebrated with bonfires, feasting and dancing in costumes to ward off ghosts. Wiccans honored their ancestors by building altars adorned with pumpkins, apples and other fall crops. Some Wiccans added photos of deceased family members and even special baked bread to feed visiting spirits. Storytelling was also part of the rituals. Samhain was one of the 66 seals, and he was worshiped as a God.

In Central and southern Mexico, “Dia de los Muertos” is also known as “Day of the Dead”.

The festivals seem to share the same concepts as the Festival of Samhain. However, rather than mourning the dead which was seen as disrespectful. They celebrate their deceased family members' lives with bright yellow marigold flowers, food and favorite drinks of the departed.

Halloween today in America morphed into some kind of joke. Parents dressing their kids up like cartoon characters and Memes to go around knocking on doors for candy only to come home and “inspect” your kids stash and put aside your favorite candies.  For adults that still like to dress up, go to Halloween parties and get all wrecked and take an Uber home.

In Second Life, Halloween is celebrated by a Global community to bring in their own special traditions for others to enjoy. Here are some locations in Second Life where you can experience Halloween in the comfort of your own home and go clubbing, check out some concerts, decorate your crib or go shopping for that perfect costume. Enter some contests for a chance at winning  Lindens for Best Costume like everrrr!

Here are some haunts below to check out! Happy Halloween!

LUXE Paris New Masquerade Shop

You don't want to be ugly for Halloween? LUXE Paris NEW MASQUERADE Shop is for you! Stylish disguises! Harajuku Girl, Lady Sheriff, Squid Guards, Private Benjamin, Mr Galaxy, Princess Anastasia, Marie-Antoinette, Witch in Flames... L$300 to L$350 for a complete costume! Once you are all ready for your Halloween party, have a look at our regular collection in the main store. Inspired by the European haute couture, LUXE Paris offers elegant clothes for ALL occasions. Need a pose to immortalize your new looks? Visit our ProPose store, professional fashion poses by the top model Ponchituti Boucher. And finally, hit our private jet for a ride to our SUPER OUTLET in the SKY where everything is L$50! All day every day! 


OCTOBER 27TH @ 1:00pm SLT





InspireMe City and InspireMe Estates Presents :DJ Sophia

October 27th @ 2pm SLT 

5000L+ Halloween Costume Contest

Linden giveaway for different costumes.

Trick or Treat 


October 31st @ 1:00pm SLT






Transylvania (/^VAMPIRE EMPIRE^\) Goth Vampire Community

October 31st @ 6:00pm SLT

Come Celebrate the best night of the year with your Bloody DJ's from 6pm-8pm slt as they spin some scary tunes. We have a Transylvanian at the wheel as they drive us screaming into the night. Don't be late!

Transylvania - Second Life's Oldest Vampire Community and home to some of the best DJs on the grid! Active Goth Scene ~ Strong Vampiric Style ~ Lycan ~ DJs ~ Residential Rentals 

Don’t forget to search the event listings for Halloween Events happening across the grid this month.