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Sunday, January 24, 2021

What Could Go Wrong? Let's Visit The Bermuda Triangle - Stacey Cardalines Reporting

 2020 was perhaps a cursed year... so why not start 2021 in the Bermuda Triangle? Where danger rears her ugly head, Stacey Cardalines is sure to tread. My sources informed me of a paranormal hotspot on SL, and I was chartering a boat five minutes later.

The Bermuda Triangle is a section of the Atlantic Ocean where a bunch of ships and planes have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. The points of the triangle are roughly Miami, Bermuda and Puerto Rico. I don't know why Bermuda got the naming rights. I think there may already be a Miami Triangle involving cocaine, I'll have to nose around later.

Famous incidents involve the Carroll A. Deering grounding/abandonment, the Pride Of Baltimore sinking, the USS Cyclops vanishing (the largest non-combat loss of life in US Navy history), the Flight 19 lost squadron and the missing Great Issac Lighthouse lightkeepers disappearance.

Noting that almost every possible angle to the Triangle story has been debunked (there really isn't a larger number of vanishings there, and driving ships through places that have hurricanes before people invented weather satellites was a bad idea) only screws up an easy paycheck for ol' Miss Cardalines, so we won't pay any mind to those book-learning type of people. I've got Fear to monger and dresses to buy.

There are few benefits to "dying of COVID," but one of them is "You won't be sucked into a paranormal interdimensional watery grave." Unless you get the COVID at the Bermuda Triangle, of course. I'm not even sure if Bermuda is letting in Americans, but we also snuck in, by boat. We sailed in unannounced, during a tropical storm, and I do my dirt by my lonesome... with my photographer. "Two if by sea," as Americans say.

But that is neither here nor there. 

Of course, it was stormy when we arrived off of Bermuda. I want to say right here that SL needs more hurricane sims. Hunting for stormy sims is how I found the Bermuda Triangle, but- again- that gets in the way of a good Myth. This guy nailed the stormy aspect. Rough seas, pouring rain, vivid lightning, heavy winds, mist, lighthouses... I grew up in New England, I know nautical, and so does this guy. SL has a tendency- mostly justified- towards sunny days, but it is not a true reflection of how most of our weather comes and goes in the real world.

Paranormal stuff beyond vampires and zombies is also under-represented on SL. Spooky is Better. We could use a Salem, a Castle Rock, a Loch Ness, a Haddonfield, an Amityville... folks, you know I'm out there looking for it. It's nice to see someone illuminate an aspect of it. He really did a nice job, and I'll eventually chat him up and see if he has other sims working along with these themes.

You only have a small area of land with which to move at this sim. You land on a small island, home to a cool lighthouse. You can go up to the top and use a telescope, although I think it is just a pose and you have to zoom the camera around yourself. Nice effect, though. It looks like I was shooting down the plane in the picture, but I was just, like, looking at it. Honest!

What you see from this perch is first-rate SL Destruction. There is a ship sinking, a rescue helicopter trying to fish survivors out of the water, a second rescue helicopter that crashed onto some rocks and exploded, a sunken submarine, a pilotless ship circling aimlessly and another boat that crashed onto some rocks. That boat, which looks suspiciously like the Orca, may have been the one which left the abandoned shark cage floating in the water... because if you visit an island nation in a pandemic and then go to the place known for sinking boats, why not throw your ass more completely on the line by cage-diving with sharks during a hurricane? 

The amount of floating human corpses being fed upon by fishes leads me to strongly not recommend any locally caught seafood. God made bacon for a reason, kids.

(Our editors are left to wonder if Stacey became aware of the sunken submarine because she donned scuba gear and dove into the water with the sharks, or if she accidentally stepped off of the island and sank like a pretty little journalistic stone. She is demanding immediate payment for this article, so we assume that she got out of the depths somehow and that her dry cleaning bills are immense.)


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