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Monday, December 22, 2008

CULTURE: My Definition of a BFF - Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

It is rapidly aproaching the 1 year mark from the day I met Prince Sonoda In RL. For those that don't know who he is. You are missing out on probubly one of the greatest people you will ever meet in Second Life. I just got the pleasure of meeting him in real life too and slapping the BFF label on em.
Just like in the Many Wizard of oz or Alice in wonderland portayals throughout movies and literature. Second Life is never what it seems and many times, the people here are just as odd or eccentric as the characters found in those children's book. I dont' feel like Alice or Dorathy as much as I do if I were the wierd offspring of a cowardly Lion ... scarecrow... the mad hatter or even the rabbit with a clock that just won't stop. Whatever hat I chose to wear, underneath I am who I am and so are my friends that walk along the yellowbrick road with me.

My inspiration for writing this will fall on the lap of the Prince as I call him. Since the day we met crossing paths at a place called Sinner's Paradise. Two years have passed and He has been consistant with his BFF role.
Don't let the name of the place fool you, It had nothing to do with acts of the seven sins with palm trees everywhere. It was more like a place of solitude and relaxation that I liked to visit.
 For those that may wonder, no, We aren't Partners and I wouldnt want it any other way. He's in his own catagory of Royalty in the Secret Society of Second Life and crowned that title with great love and admiration, not just from me but from the many who consider him a dear friend.
Just like with the other Princes and Princess who roam His Palace freely, He taught me what a true BFF was all about as he picks me up and dusts me off along the way, always offering words of encouragement. Even in his gentle stern way he isnt affraid to let me know when I am headed in the wrong direction.
It's more like he held the back of my bike from the beginning as I set off for the first time without training wheels.
Believe me when I say, he doesnt have an easy position but he handles it well and on occasions he still carries bandaids in his pocket ready to slap on me when needed.
 Me on the other hand, returns the BFF Traits back in my own way by being the emotional roller coaster I am with my many ups and downs being a Media/Drama Queen in this virtual world.
He celebrates the milestones with me no matter the size and consoles me when I'm about to go on a rampage Philly Style.
  It's a heavy load and I try my best to keep it all together considering the fact I'm a girl and its built into our job description to be complicated. We simply cannot help ourselves but to be the feminine half of the great big plan of Life, But never once has he turned his back on me, held hidden agendas or judge me on anything I've done.
 Even if it was a bad day and I threatened to end it all and find a new hobby, He came to the rescue and saved SLE from impending doom.
I still use that one when I'm in an attention seeking mood but whatever the reason big or small he is there for me.
One evening we were disccusing what a BFF really was and the only thing we found to be different was the fact he thought BFF meant best female Friend and I thought it was Best friends Forever. Either way it works cause he's both. err I mean BMF?
One of the questions about this topic I certainly wanted to answer was, Is the line between RL/SL meant to be drawn when it comes to online friendships? This question really should be What Line are we talking about?
If I were blind and could only hear or deaf and could only see those around me but had a sense of who they are and cared about them all the same but couldnt participate in physical activities or be close to them because I was unable. Does that mean, they arent real friendships?
 Same concept with online dating and long distance relationships for those that dont mind a sacrifice. In my opinion It's all still considered the real deal. So why do some people try to seperate themselves from their true feelings and emotions here? Online friends only, lovers online only ,online here, offline there... pfft whatever. Reality check. We have one brain and not an external hardrive to store a seperate set of emotions.
 I've heard time and time again and seen it in countless profiles. "I keep sl and rl seperate" "my rl is none of your business" or other little tacky slogans that push people away. What's the point of coming to second life if they dont take the time to get to know the people around them, yet some display their rl pic and share details about their real life with others, many times sugarcoated. Who are they really kidding?
I've gotta be one of the most Closed/Open people in SL because I have not found my medium yet in that department.
I can't seem to figure out the line but I can be very private about my personal life yet share special things about it in my diary for all to see or simply talking to another person including things about my real life and even a little bit about the most precious of my creations, My children.
  There is certainly a line you can draw to protect your loved ones and your personal business from being exploited by those who are capable of using whatever info you shared against you as soon as a situation gets sour. This could be one of the main reasons many people build walls and not allowing anyone in.
For those that draw lines but chose to raise and drop their wall like a broadway curtain, being dramatic and including others in their soap opera episodes confusing people in the process. These types are basically playing with others emotions here. It's either you do or you dont and stay firm on your decision to let others in or out. Honesty never hurt anyone unless it's being brutually given.
Another Question I wanted to Address is Why do people put "Drama Free" in there profile. this may have nothing to do with the topic above but I still got something to say about it. Take that out of your profile if its there. All it's doing is shining a big ol spotlight on those who participate in drama or have a history of it lingering over them like a dark cloud.
Don't even mention it and just move on, you may find the quality of your friendships improve.
In concluion of this BFF article and before I add my last period to it. I just wanted to thank each one of my true friends who surround me with their constant love, support and positive energy. It's them I stand on my soapbox for, They protect me from the negative and make my Slife worth loggin into.
To those who have not made the Circle of friends cut or have a problem with me.
I'm sorry your perception is less then who I really am and it doesnt matter because those without fault can pass judgement. For those who crossed me , they already know I dont have time for those who waste my time and have no problem cutting people off and keepin it movin in my best interest, their's and to protect The integrity of The SL Enquirer.
 It's Not because I've grown any kind of resentment towards anyone. I have no known enemies but I refuse to waste my time dealing with drama and miserable people. I simply remove myself from situations I dont want to be in.
 With all that said. if you need a friend I'm an IM away, Just please...leave all the uneccassary baggage at the door and be real.
 ~Lanai Jarrico
 For those that didnt get the chance to read about my rl meeting with the Prince. It's recommended to understand that a BFF in SL can exist.


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