Sports fans are pretty much right at the top (trailing only bachelors and Alzheimers people) of the list for People Most Likely To Forget Or F*ck Up Valentine's Day Somehow.
Part of this is my fault. The ratio of Sports: Romance in this column is hopelessly lopsided, which is amazing when you consider that the author is married and speaks a Romance language.
However, we have you covered today. I'm writing this early, because you want to strike early with Valentine's Day. We'll handle where to take her in a future article, but today we are focused on Where To Shop For Her Beforehand.
Start off at Valentine Town, a shopping mall with a Valentine's Day theme. A very cute Bubble Pit serves as the fountain for this mall. It is surrounded by a wagon-train of stores that cover flowers, necklaces, chocolate, lingerie, cheap stuff and even gag gifts.
Even a total moron spouse should be able to gather up some sex-worthy Valentine's Day goods in one stop here. This frees him or her up to watch more Sports, and it was good.
By the way... it's the 14th, dummy. You're welcome.
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