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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

SPOTLIGHT FEATURE: Interview with Cupid Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


 It’s that time of year again where the winged cherub, Cupid is out and about breaking out his swag, binoculars, bow and arrow, and aiming at unsuspecting avies across the grid.  This week, the SL Enquirer sat down with Cupid at an undisclosed location to discuss his targets and some jagged pill advice on how to keep the romance alive in Second Life.


Lanai: Hi Cupid!  It has been a while since I’ve seen you last.  You must be doing a lot of Bow Flexing lately because those abs are making me wanna … o.O behave myself and act professional.

Cupid: *winks* Well yes, I have been  blow flexing and would like to make you behave in a really naughty way. On the flip side, we are in a hot tub half naked and you are looking like a candidate for an arrow.

Lanai:ooOOOo Thank you for the compliment, I think…   but just to remind you, this is business not pleasure. 

Cupid: You know, that’s why they call me Cupid. I am the man with a lot of love to spread and we are in the perfect scene. Hot tub, pink pose ball, blue pose ball, half naked, you get it. This is a recipe for not finishing this interview.

Lanai: Man, you lay it on thick like molasses!

Cupid: Well, I’m in touch with my inner mamba.

Lanai: O.o Moving on… Let me start off by saying,  thank you for this rare opportunity to interview you,  I know you have been very busy these days shining up arrows and stretching out those wings, so I will try to keep it short and sweet.

Cupid:  Thank you for having me, I wouldn’t past up the opportunity to sit here with the SLE CEO half naked. Who would? You won’t be getting an arrow from cupid if you pass that up. *wink*

 Lanai: OMG there is just a little bit too much Old Spice Swagger going on in here!  
*snatches cupids arrows and throws them off to the side*

Sooo Cupid… since you want to be so bold, why would you like to remain anonymous?

Cupid: If you had the aura of love and attraction, wouldn’t you want to remain anonymous too? I would have haters on every dance floor I step on, every event I go to, and definitely don’t want rock stars to lose groupies.

 Lanai: What can I say to that except, you are quite… confident.  SO with that said, do you mind if I dig deep inside the mind of the “prince of romance “and see SL a bit through your scope?

Cupid: Sure, that is what I am here for.  Pick away but just to warn you, the deeper you pick the stronger my aura gets and it might start affecting the way this interview goes. 

Lanai: I ain’t scared of you: P. The first question I have to ask is, of all the jobs in SL, why Cupid? You must really enjoy what you do. Besides that, last I heard you wear a stripper on off season, is that true?

Cupid:  It’s not really a job I chose, it was a job chosen for me. It derived from my days as a male escort when client inquiries started to get too overwhelming. Thank god Viagra is one hell of a drug!

Lanai: LMAO Cupid!?! What are you on right now?

Cupid:  That is just the truth.

Lanai: Not doubting you, I’m just saying lol. SO anyways, being Cupid and pressing all up on me like that I need to know... are you single and mingling, taken and lovin it, or both, I don’t need no belligerent  girls showing up being dramatic during this interview.

Cupid: I have to be single and I have to mingle, those are the things I love to do.  Being Cupid, I get to manipulate the situation a little bit and in most cases, in my favor. *wink*.   I’m all about romance and the ladies know that. When they are not getting it, I’m there to give it to them.  You See, everyone needs romance. Not having that in SL is like a bun with no hot dog, a sausage with no spice, and lube with no taste. I’ll stop there.  You know where I’m going with this. You just need that excitement in your Second Life.  I help make those butterfly feelings come back.

Lanai:  Cupid, you are too much. Lube without flavor? I’m not even going to ask, but I guess it gives a clear example of something romantic being unexciting…
*clears throat*
 Speaking of butterflies and dating… What do you think about the chronic dysfunctional daters spreading the love and drama all over the place?  I know dating drama is not your intention but some might blame you for the chaos, could this be defective arrows or their own fault?

Cupid: I wouldn’t say defective arrows because how can you blame me for spreading romance and love when everyone deserves a Valentine. Now if after Valentine’s Day they decide to keep the flame going (Disclaimer:  Cupid is not to blame), Sometimes an arrow can get lodged and not be removed right away, so the effects may last 3-6 months.  In some cases, I have seen avies not get the full affect of the arrow and the relationship is over a day after Valentine’s Day. There is really nothing I can do about that.

Lanai:  That sounds like an average simlationship duration to me. Do you think avies in SL take relationships seriously here?

Cupid: I would say, they would like to take relationships seriously but at times when there is a 5 to 1 ratio of women to men, us males may get overwhelmed and it makes us want to spread more love then we can handle. Not to blame only men, the ladies do it too. The only difference is, women have different excuses on why they are busy and can’t TP right away. For example, I’m at a wedding, in a photo shoot or working. In the meantime, they are at their boyfriend’s house on a strip pole. LOL

 Lanai: lol Ok then….  I can see that being an issue causing catfights between everyone here in SL. I think everyone should be mindful of each other’s feelings and ladies who want to act up being jealous or playing the crying game for a man’s attention. He isn’t worth it girl.  The only thing I would say about that is, stop being the bad apple that spoils the reputation of the bunch. We aren’t all like that.  Anyways…Cupid, I find you to be very charming, handsome and extremely hard….to interview is that old spice swagger you are wearing?

Cupid: no, it’s just my natural scent.  Are you flirting with me?

Lanai: OK Seriously.  When targeting avies, what do you look for and what would you say your accuracy rating is for a romantic connection?

Cupid: Can you repeat that first part of your question again?  The very charming, handsome, and extremely hard part.  Lol JK   you are very provocative. If anyone is to know how to take a hint, I am the one.  Moving on to your questions, I would say the strength of my arrows are in the 70/30 percentile in accuracy.

Lanai: Impressive and YOU are the provoker in this interview….  So Cupid, as an advocate of Love, how serious do you think SL romance is?

Cupid: How serious romance in SL really is? I would have to say in the 5% range. Not to contradict my 70/30 percentile accuracy because that is rated on my time scale of 1-3 month long relationships. Sorry to say after three months, avies are on their own.

Lanai:  I agree, but I think relationships last an average of 3-6 months here in SL and for a handful much longer.  Got any advice on keeping the romance alive?

Cupid: First thing is, SL is about having fun, if you aren’t here to have fun maybe SL romance is not for you. Make sure you are always looking good, change your clothes every day, keep up with your skins and don’t be afraid to try new things. Most importantly, keep the pose balls updated.

Lanai: can’t forget to update the pose balls lol, you are a character for sure Cupid.  Have you ever encountered an avie that no matter how many times you hit them with a juiced up arrow, they just can’t seem to find love or keep their partner? What do you think the problem is?

Cupid:  Some avies do come to SL with problems and possible Bi polar disorder, crying one minute and wanting to make love to you the next. Sometimes my arrows have no affect on them.  I’m Cupid, not a miracle worker. Those avies don’t need an arrow, they need to get bopped upside the head with a magic stick and I don’t even think that would fix the problem. My advice when you feel bi polarness is taking over your avie, I have a few words. Padded room and Dr. Straightjacket, I can’t do anything for you.

Lanai:  Dam Cupid, could you be more blunt? (Sorry to anyone who got offended) I can see just by the way you are that you are straight to the point and a ladies’ man; could you give avies some advice on how to spark up some flames in their SL?

Cupid: Sure, always keep your hotdog in the bun, never let the flavored lube expire and never let your sausage run out of spice. If the flame is about to go out, throw another stick in it. If you run out of options, Viagra is one hell of a drug.

Lanai: WTF? Ok… It’s a good thing I wore my chastity belt to this interview because I don’t think Superman would appreciate this at all and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable…

Cupid: Oh? I brought something for Superman, its called kryptonite.  Where is he? I’ve never seen kryptonite make a man get so weak, like a little girl.

Lanai: hey now… don’t be talking about my man like that!

Cupid: Relax, I’m kidding. I’m Cupid and here to spread love, not hate. Did you wear that chastity belt for your safety or mine? Who wears a chastity belt to an interview anyway? Jeeezus.

Lanai:  pffft. What are you trying to say? Anyways, Can I ask you a personal question? How many times have you aimed one of those arrows at me, don’t think I can’t see those crosshairs targeted on my…

Cupid: What are you talking about?  Didn’t you take my arrows and throw them in the bushes at the beginning of this interview? It makes me think you want to shoot me with an arrow after this interview is over.

Lanai: no comment.

Cupid: *winks at Lanai and Turns on the radio*

·         Disclaimer:  For entertainment purposes only.  Cupid was not hurt during the making of this interview.


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