Second Life is an escape from the real world, but sometimes the real world creeps into the virtual platform. After all, we are humans behind the avatar. To remember where we all come from, it’s nice to share some random day-to-day comic relief. With that said, in the real world, I work at a top hospital in New Jersey, and maaaan, do I have some stories! You can’t make this sh*t up. I promise.
My office is right next to the lobby, so I see a lot of things as they come into the hospital. Women in labor are frequent. So, let's start there. For perspective, the Valet service oversees anywhere from 300-450 cars a day at the entrance. It is pretty busy! We’ve seen anywhere from Mothers screaming in agony, being thrown in a wheelchair, and quickly being rushed in the door. The only thing you can do is move out of the way or get run over by the father-to-be!
One incident involved the Valet Manager, who approached a car, and when he looked inside… a new mom was holding her baby on her lap and looking shocked, and the car looked like a horror scene. She delivered her bundle of Joy right in the passenger seat. I wonder if the baby qualifies for a Guinness World Record for the youngest person to Valet a car…
Still on the topic of maternity ward drama. I’ve witnessed what appeared to be a SWAT team rush the ward and bring out a baby daddy who had a warrant. Another time, a full-on fist fight broke out in the waiting area. I guess the family of the woman who just delivered a baby wasn’t feeling congratulatory towards the baby’s father. That new dad got taken out in handcuffs after being lumped up by several family members of the new mom.
Moving on to Emergency Room Drama…
These stories are second-hand from Security, who stops by my office and tells me stories. I feel like I need a popcorn machine in my office for this daily entertainment.
Recently, a man showed up in the ER all bruised up, as if he had just gotten into a bar fight. While he was in the waiting room, his spouse showed up, and they began arguing. It was apparent how he sustained his black eye. Spousal abuse is no laughing matter, even if the woman is the offending party. Anyway, they decided to go for round 2 in a full-blown fist fight near the vending machines. It ended when the male party snatched off his wife’s clothes and ran out the door with them. Leaving his wife butt-ass naked in the Emergency room when police arrived. I told you… You can’t make this shit up….
One of the first stories I was told was so disturbing I was left speechless. A man comes into the ER with the tip of his manhood missing. It turns out he thought it would be a good idea to put peanut butter on it and let his dog take a bite. Ouch!
Here’s a spooky one. One day I was walking down the hallway towards the security Office on the lower level with a co-worker when we walked past the morgue. At that very moment, both he and I were pushed by an unseen force. As soon as it happened, we both looked at each other. We couldn't explain what had happened. To this day, I take a different way to avoid the Morgue.
These stories are just the tip of the iceberg. New Jersey is wild! I will share more in upcoming articles.
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