SLE Ticker



16 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com

Monday, November 1, 2021

SLE POLICE REPORT- ROLE-PLAYING WITH FIRE





Second Life- On October 31st at approximately 6:25 pm SLT, it was reported that a Roleplay sim owner on the seedy side of the grid was arrested and charged with countless verbal assaults on women who do not heed to his romantic advances.  According to sources close to the SL Enquirer. Elrond Caudron AKA  “ChŘĭŠťƠÞĦë ΜċϜàΝčŸ was seen hanging out the bathroom window of his home hurling a barrage of insults and profanities while waving a British flag and claiming he was God’s gift to women. A crowd formed in the streets with many holding up their smartphones to record the incident.


 He could be heard yelling at a woman, “ Ignorance and ghosting are forms of emotional abuse and narcissism. I will not tolerate it. Women like YOU are undeserving of men like ME. Men who can do the things that I can, men who HAVE emotional depth and intelligence. The multitudes of creative brilliance I have? NO man on here even comes close. ALL men you encounter on here, from now on, are scum compared to me. You deserve men who are Neanderthals, men who are total wankers and have NOTHING to offer you. 


He went on to shout,  “You sound like a proper fat (BLEEP) in real life and you more than likely 100% ARE.  You're clearly an extremely bland individual and you have nothing to offer me at all. You probably have such low self esteem and worth that you consider yourself to be unworthy of men like me. And you most certainly are unworthy of men like me. Such a time wasting piece of (BLEEP). I have THREE sims with 60,000 prims so enjoy your (BLEEP) bit of land! I have multiple, incredible talents. I'm tall and handsome in RL. You're also annoying. So it's YOUR loss, it truly is”.


The unidentified woman he was insulting responded with, “Since you clearly don't have a clue and chose to verbally attack me like the emotional abuser you are, allow me to retort.  You call me ignorant, yet I have a college degree and am highly respected within my career.  You call me a narcissist, yet the exact definition of narcissist mirrors who you are.  In case you were curious here is what a narcissist is " a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves."  " Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement."  Sound familiar?  Well, it should.  As for me being "undeserving" of a "man" like you .....well you are right there.  I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU”.  It’s sad that it took me three days to figure that out.  Such a waste of my valuable time, yes.  As for self esteem, who's the one going on and on about themselves and needs constant reassurance.  I know my own worth and what I will NOT TOLERATE.  I do not need to boast my values to any person.  If you're too "bland" to see them that is all you.  You have no sense of humor, you show no interest except in that of yourself.  You are arrogant and quite frankly a (BLEEP).  So, yes I chose not to speak with you.  Me being the tolerant, forgiving person I am I decided to give you a second chance, but yet you proved my point once again.  I don't take too fondly of being gaslighted.  Lastly, perceiving me as  "a proper fat (BLEEP)  irl" makes me laugh.  That's such a polite way to talk to women.  Way to go!!!! Does it make you feel more like a "man" to demeanor women?  I happen to be 5' 10" and very attractive irl. Although I am far from being vain, unlike you.  Don't believe me?  Don't really care.  One thing is for sure, you will never know.  You are not nor will you ever be God's gift to women.  Matter of fact all you did was once again go on and on about yourself. Have fun (BLEEPING) yourself with your PROPER TINY PENIS.  It more than likely 100% is.  You're also a boring (BLEEP).  Your loss though sweetheart.....truly.....your loss.  The monster inside you is indeed NOT DEAD.  If anything it has overcome you.  Something to think about as you move forward.  Well played keyboard warrior!




 And with all that said a fight broke out in the crowd when someone in a state of hysterical laughter agreed that he had a micropenis and that’s why his attempted relationships keep failing with women. 


A local nightclub owner identifying himself only as “Chocolate Star”, chimed in to dispute the false accusations leading to a glitter fight in the street. 


Witnesses were in shock as Christophe hopped off his toilet and ran outside while pulling up his pants and flashing everyone to continue his verbal rampage.  One witness said, perhaps he had a hemorrhoid flare-up and was acting out of pocket while another said she heard a rumor that he recently got ghosted by someone who made the right decision and he probably just snapped.


Known as a hothead and a master manipulator amongst the swinger and furry communities,  Christophe denies all accusations and threatened to call his public defender.


 Jack’s Law and Taco Shack could not be reached for comments.  


Upon further investigation into this situation more women have come forward for a total of 12 including, four furries, three tinies, two stripper bots, and a dragon. 


He was sentenced to 6 months of house arrest, 52 ½ hours of community service as the resident heevahava at Spanky’s Horse Ranch, 7 anger management classes, and had to donate 55,000L to “Women are the future” charity fund. 


Charges for indecent language and exposure near a public child avatar park are pending further investigation.


Other charges include a 2500L littering fine for glitter clean up, assault with a corn cob (investigation pending), animal abuse of a breedable cat he trampled while charging the crowd, lying on his Mcdonald’s resume, and claiming eight children not biologically related on last year’s taxes.


2 comments:

  1. Sounds like a real winner. He must do great eating hot pockets out of his moms basement and feel like a real man.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG LMFAO!!!!! Too many funny things in this police report from the lawyer that works from a taco place to lying on his mcdonalds resume and the glitter fight he deserves it talking to women like that!!!!! hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete

Comments will be reviewed and posted within 24 hours. Please note any abusive content or outside promotional links may not be approved.

 
cookieassistant.com