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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Avoiding Grief in Second life- How to live Drama Free. –Nehem Resident Reporting…

Second Life can be rewarding, but it can also be a place of drama. It is how we handle drama that makes our second lives more enjoyable. 

If you have spent any time here in the virtual world, you know it can be a breeding ground for disputes. The key to avoiding drama is all in how you respond to such. There are several types of nasty situations that can leave us not only wondering what just happened, but can also lead us to no longer wish to remain in the virtual world. 


Griefing in Second Life is defined as any action that would Cause discomfort, stress, or abuse to another resident. It is very prevalent in the virtual world, and sometimes, it is completely unavoidable. It may be caused by parting ways with an old friend or love interest, Clan disagreements, or simply by someone who wishes to cause stress to other players. 

If it is a typical griefer (someone who likes to cause stress for amusement) There are several signs to look for, they Include:

*Profiles with limited information or no pictures
*Avatars less than ten days old
*Names that are not actually readable, that contain multiple random letters or numbers
*Avatars that just stand on a sim, with no movement, and no chat, or automated chat.

Griefers can do anything from bumping you physically and shouting obscenities in chat, to actually leaving things on your sim. The items left may cause spam, lag, or even clouds or other items that mess with other residents who are visiting. This can not only cause you to lose traffic, but it can be very distressing to you as well. 

How to Deal with the Common Griefer

There are a number of ways you can accomplish a successful avoidance of grief without causing drama yourself! First of all, it is important to lock down your land. Remove public rights, such as object placement, and the ability to edit terrain. This will keep any unwanted objects from surfacing on your sim. If you want more protection, create a home specific group that only people permitted by you may enter. If you don´t want to completely shut out the public, many viewers have full sim radars, allowing you to watch who comes into your sim. You can keep an eye and ban those that are causing an issue. 

You can also purchase a security system or orb that allows only people of your choosing, OR anyone, until you remove them from the list. This is a nice tool, and can be a massive aid in protecting yourself from unwanted guests. 

Also, there are ways to report abuse to Linden Labs. In most viewers, the report abuse button is located under the help tab. This is especially useful for continued griefing by use of alts from residents that were previously banned, or people you see causing problems on another sim.

How to Avoid a Fight with an Ex Love Interest or Family Member

Stepping around drama with a loved one, or ex loved one can be very tricky. Often times, second life lovers and families come together as a team to build, and make a beautiful sim or home. But what happens when you part ways? A lot of times, its nasty fights that lead to griefing, banning, and destroyed reputations all around. What can you do to avoid this situation, and be the bigger person? 

The key in this case, is to remain calm, and do not add to the fight. Allow the person time to come into your sim, and safely remove their objects. Never return items without first asking, as this can cause items to be lost permanently, and ultimately cause a bigger fight. If it is your items on the sim of your love one, ask politely for permission to remove your items, and go do so quickly and promptly, without making snide comments. Another way to avoid issues if you hang out in the same places is to greet the loved civilly if you end up in the same location. Never cause a disturbance in local chat, and avoid private IM´s. Remember, they have the same rights as you do, so let them be.  The most complicated can be money.  Handle the situation the same way you would with items, and remember never to cause an issue. 

If the other individual continues to cause distress, you may ban them from your lands and groups. If you feel your reputation is being destroyed, or you are being harassed by friends of the loved one, you can always report abuse in your help tab.

Clan Disputes and other Bloodlines Issues

A close-knit clan can be one of the best or worst situations in Second Life. To avoid clan related and other bloodlines issues, there are simple tips you can follow. 

Never bite any player without asking. This can cause unwanted discomfort and stress for other residents. Instead, explain that you are a bloodlines member, and give them the opportunity to decide if they would like to take part in the game. If they do not wish to, simply thank them for their time, and leave them to their own devices. 

Always treat your fellow clan members how you wish to be treated, and follow the game rules at all times. Remember, everyone is in the clan to have fun, and if the rules are not being properly followed, it can cause a nasty dispute among friends. Also, it is important to show respect to each and every player, no matter how new they may be to the game. 

If you are being harassed in your clan, there are several options. The first option is to talk with your clan leader, in private. Do so politely, and calmly, stating your issue, and asking for a resolution. It is important that you never comment back to someone in clan chat that is griefing you, because this is what fuels the fire. You can simply ignore the abuse, and that will potentially stop the attack. If you feel like you are still being abused, you may leave your clan, stating in a respectful manner why you chose to do so. As with the other situations, you can always file an abuse report.

Remember, never start a fight, or attempt to ruin the other person’s reputation. Handle all situations with dignity and respect. It is important in second life to be the bigger individual, although it is not always easy. Avoiding fights carefully will make for a comfortable second life, and leave you well respected by your peers. Leaving drama behind you is simple, and will leave you feeling good about your virtual experience.


  1. Good advice and right on time!

  2. The vast majority of drama in SL is directly or indirectly related to sex. If you're not getting drama from someone you were involved with, you're getting drama from someone who can't handle that you are involved with their x. Or, you're hearing a sob story from someone's two or three week long "romance". Griefing and bloodlines doesn't hold a candle to people who put their loins (and by default their emotions) out there in SL.

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