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Saturday, June 22, 2013

Dramedy: Like a Shadow in the Night- The Black Crow....

Like a shadow in the night…
Like a fly on the wall…
Like a hair in your soup…
I will see and hear everything you do, but you will not see me. I am…The Black Crow.

So it begins…my destiny as an SL douche fighter. I awoke to a new day. Scratch that, a new beginning. I put on my outfit, laced up my boots, and hid away my identity under the guise of a masked vigilante. I stepped in front of the mirror to give one good look at Second Life’s new hope for peace, and I have to admit…I look pretty good.

I took to the streets, fully determined to scour the vast, endless world of Second Life to find the scumbags that try to make this place a misery for us all. What I didn’t expect was to stumble upon such a disgusting example so soon.

When I landed in the “Safe Hub” as Second Life likes to call it, I noticed a man, nay a beast of a man in the corner of the room. As I grew closer I could tell that this was going to be way too easy. 

When I approached the behemoth I couldn’t help but notice that he was letting it all hang out. I mean seriously, it looked like a pig in a blanket attached to a pig out of a blanket. What was even more disturbing was the sheer hairy mass surrounding the pork tenderloin and the way it shook and shimmied to the most annoying, ear bleeding excuse for music I have ever heard. 

I attempted on multiple occasions to communicate with the being but to no avail. It remained mute as it jiggled and oozed gooey syrup from the many folds and crevices throughout its body.

I feel as if I should warn every good, honest citizen and business owner of Second Life that if you see the abomination that goes by the name of Rhodajablonski hemmoraging your way you should immediately call the authorities…or just kick his sloppy stacks on out the door and call it a day.

As I retreated from the appropriately named Safe Hub and made my way back home I felt a sigh of relief, as if I did something honorable and worthwhile with my time here. I hope that my efforts do not go unnoticed and that I may help someone, anyone out there who is looking to just have a great experience. If not, at least I get to enjoy putting assclowns like Rhodajablonski on blast for a good laugh.

 Until next time, be careful of what you do and what you say. You never know when you are being watched…by The Black Crow.


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