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Monday, November 18, 2013

AVIE POLL: Is Dating in SL Considered Cheating on a RL Significant Other? - Glossom Resident Reporting…

In a world designed for socialization and interaction, it is easy to find people with whom we identify and with whom we create relationships of various kinds. 
The line between fidelity and betrayal is very tenuous. However well intentioned someone is and regardless of our vowed allegiances in RL, the allure of the unknown draws us and our romantic spirits seeks new adventures that can result in parallel relationships between two worlds.

Therefore, when embarking on a virtual relationship are you cheating on your RL significant other? 

While for many having a parallel relationship between the virtual and the real world is a dilemma, for others there isn’t an issue because there are extenuating circumstances: open relationships where the boundaries are established, unsatisfactory relationship, where the relationship in SL is seen as a complement or even the total discredit that having a loving relationship means betraying the real life one. We often find the sentence “SL is SL and RL is RL” in many resident’s profiles, sentence that gives foundation to this theory.

The reply to this question is very subjective. There are many personal factors that generate different responses and different postures regarding this topic. As such, the SLE spoke with some residents and asked them share their points of view. We would like to thank all for participating.

Resident A: I am married in SL. We don’t believe in cheating… since we are open to see others. I have a real life girlfriend, she knows about my sl wife.

Resident B: If you and your real life partner have set rules and guidelines and are open and honest it’s not cheating if you agree… It’s when you hide and sneak around that makes it a cheat.

Resident C: I guess the only opinion I have is that each person brings their own ideas about that to SL and it's up to each individual how they choose to see it.

Resident D: I do feel that dating in SL whilst in a committed RL relationship is a form of cheating. The internet has redefined the more "traditional" definition of cheating in my opinion--it's not just restricted to it merely being a physical faux pas. "Intellectual cheating" is just as abhorrent to me, if not worse.

Resident E: I think it depends on the situation. If you are going behind your spouse or girlfriend or whatever they are RL's back, then yes it is cheating. If you’re in a poly or open relationship, and there is complete honesty, then no its not.

Resident F: Yes, it’s cheating. No question.

Resident G: I'm not sure I've never come to a conclusion on that issue, but if I had to take a side, I'd say that having online sex through SL is a violation of RL monogamy. If the rule is "no sex with anyone but me," then having sex with someone in SL violates that rule.

Would you like to share your opinion?  Do place a comment on the article.



  1. I have had a very long and unhappy marriage in RL. I have had a very short and incredibly happy marriage in SL, so much so that we plan to divorce our RL spouses and marry for real. My SL partner has abandoned me for several weeks. Suddenly I find myself being pursued by lovely ladies in SL, and I do not always run away. After we tested her new bed, one longtime lady friend told me that "Any woman would be lucky to have you." Another lady who is also in a loveless RL marriage happily calls me her "side candy." And a very intelligent and desirable lady has hinted to me that she will be there waiting for me if my SL marriage ends. All of us are happy because we give each other more love and attention than we are getting at home. But I can't shake the feeling that this will come to a sad and tragic ending, that final angry words will be spoken, and that someone will end up being hurt by it. Maybe I should go and live on a mountain like a hermit to make sure none of my friends gets hurt. But everything is so incredibly exciting and spontaneous that I can't stay away. And the question that comes to mind is this: Just because you (RL wife) don't think love is important any more, and you (SL wife) don't think it's necessary to talk to me any more, am I required to stay celibate for the rest of my life? The loving touch of a warm human hand is important. Taking that away means that the person will go looking for it elsewhere.

    This topic has been discussed many times over the years, with no definite solution. One side says "Of course you are cheating, you vile disgusting person" while the other side says "It's only pixels. No one actually touched anyone else, you prude." Both sides have good points to argue, but I don't believe that either side has the full answer.

  2. Thank you for your comment. I do agree with you when you say that neither side has the full answer..This is a very subjective topic. Each individual decision should be respected and not taken as wrong or right. Any deicision we make in life,real or virtual,is triggered by our very own personal events.

  3. I recently was dating a married woman but broke it off because she is married in RL even though we were just SL, we were talking on the phone and even having phone sex while in SL. She suggested we slow things down and keep it SL but we were professing our love for each other and she was lookin for a divorce attorney which she should do regardless of with me or not because he treats her horrible I ended things because altho she said lets just keep it SL that's not cheating, she couldn't understand that in her wedding vows she didn't say "I promise to love and be faithful to you unless I'm on a computer" Also how could I be sure that if we did end up together in RL if she did this, (slept with someone in SL) how could I say "your cheating on me" when that's how we started and I "ok'ed" it by staying with her...physical or emotional is cheating. by the way her response was "baby I'd never do that"

  4. It is extremely shameful for a married person to get sexually intimate with someone else, because, it is not a serious relationship, but lust.


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