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Thursday, February 20, 2014

LEAKED TO THE PUBLIC! Lanai’s Session with her therapist

*It is Thursday February 20, 2014 9:00am SLT.  I am recording this session with my client Lanai Jarrico*

Therapist: Good morning Lanai. Where would you like to begin today?

Lanai: I am having a hard time lately. I keep thinking about some things that I did in 2013 and I feel ashamed and just need to talk it out.

Therapist: Let’s talk about it than. Remember in our last session you were telling me that things were looking up for you. What changed?

Lanai: Well… I bumped into an old flame last week while I was picking up my virtual Xanax prescription at one of the clinics in world and he invited me to have a coffee with him. Things were going great as we played catch up on old time until this noob griefer walks in the coffee shop causing a big scene.

Therapist: Can you elaborate on what happened?

Lanai: It all happened so fast and the next thing I know, the man walks right up to our table and slapped the bujesus out of my ex using one of those animated gestures that shouts "BITCH" and hot coffee goes flying across the café. Everyone looked at us as this mystery man begins to rant on in caps about their zooby cats “Ben” and “Jerry” and how (BLEEP) was telling this stranger he was the best thing he ever had. I was confused and taken by surprise.

Suddenly, the noob reached in his pocket. I hit the floor ripping my mesh blouse on the way down. I thought he had a griefer weapon!. It turned out to be a landmark to a drag burlesque show. He proceeded to calling (BLEEP) a whore and a pixel woman lover. I was mortified and we ended up being booted and banned by management!

Therapist: Sometimes unexpected things happen in Second Life and we cannot blame ourselves for the inappropriate behavior of others. Have you spoken to him since?

Lanai: No, but he sent me an IM apologizing for the incident and said he was moving back in with his old roommates until he can work things out with this drama queen.

Therapist: Maybe it is best you move on too. Do you still have feeling for him?

Lanai: Not after he told me when we broke up he realized he wasn’t into woman. Apparently he used to go through my inventory wardrobe and wear my heels when I wasn’t online. I was wondering why my shoes felt stretched out.

Therapist: Besides being a violation of TOS to give out your password... That can be a tough pill to swallow to hear him say that.  Again, you can’t blame yourself for other’s decisions.

 Let’s move on… Is there anything else that has been causing you stress in Second Life that you need to talk about?

Lanai:  Heh...There are a couple more things. But I wont get into the accosting by furries incident.

Therapist : OK, let’s start with the things that are stressing you the most and then we will get to your low stressers.

Lanai: I was recently in a minor incident at the local Gorean food market.

Therapist: What type of minor incident?

Lanai: Well I got out of there before management showed up. They can be pretty aggressive and want to enslave you right away. When I TPd home I thought about it and think it could have been handled differently.

Here’s what happened…. I was in the produce section minding my own business and browsing around for a cantaloupe when this soccer mom avatar approached me.  

Therapist: A cantaloupe? For what?

Lanai: Well, I have 54,209 things in inventory so why not add one of those to it?

Therapist: Um ok so back to your incident. How did you know she was a soccer mom avatar or are you just stereotyping?

Lanai:  Well....she was wearing a t-shirt that said "Proud Soccer Mom" and had her hair cut in an outdated bob with no scalp base and wearing momma jeans that were awkwardly adjusted…

Therapist: I see… Go on.

Lanai: I would have moved out the way if she would have politely asked but she rudely bumped me and I accidentally purchased a watermelon teapot instead. What in  this virtual world would I do with that?  She didn’t even say excuse me.  I got upset and she ended up getting snowballed in the welcome area. It felt satisfying until she threatened to report me to LL in Spanish. Luckily I had on my translator HUD.

Therapist: Lanai, we talked about your anger management last week when you got into that argument at a local venue with your former karaoke partner. You really need to work on your sensitivity, impatience and short fuse. It is a lethal combination.

 Lanai:She had it coming. I'm still upset about the way she covered  “Bohemian Rhapsody” at our last gig and hogged all the good parts. I’ve given up singing since then… You're right. I think I'll spend more time locked in my media center because every time I TP off the sim,  something crazy happens. 

Therapist: You may be a drama magnet but at least you are taking the steps needed to break free of that.  OK..... time is up for this week’s session.
 We will continue this discussion again soon  But first!  I want you to call Dr. Waters and make an appointment for a follow up in anger management at one of the meditation centers in SL and to get your virtual Xanax refilled…

*Session Over*

 *For twisted entertainment only. No noobs, griefers, furries or cantaloupes were hurt in the making of this therapy session.


  1. Maybe you should go to the bartenders at Club Zero Gravity or Club Cutlass. They're cheaper. ;-)

  2. lol Bixyl, you are probably right but can you imagine what virtual drinking will cause me to do in Second Life? I think that would be a a whole new can of virtual worms :P


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