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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Overcoming a Break Up in Second Life- Jessi2009 Warrhol Reporting…

So you were at work in real life and saw the email that showed your items had been returned from land you shared with your Second Life significant other. Or you logged on and found out that you were de-partnered and your Second Life significant other had blocked/muted you from contacting them. 

These two scenarios may sound like horrible ones, but they are often true in Second Life. So how do you mend your broken heart?  Surviving a break in Second Life can be just as emotional and can take as much time as surviving a real life breakup.

This article looks at how you can recover from a Second Life breakup and mend your heart in the process.

I recently spoke with two avatars that had each suffered Second Life breakups within the past 3 months. “Alicia” was partnered for 6 years in Second Life to “Mike”. She and Mike had shared many Second Life and real life moments together. “You simply cannot forget someone that you have spoken to almost every day for 6 years”, said Alicia.

“Mike and I were inseparable. Though we never met in real life, we would talk via the telephone and web cam with each other”. Back in December, Mike told Alicia that he was leaving Second Life and focusing on his real life. Alicia has not spoken to Mike since, not even in real life. “It’s been quite hard for me. To go from having someone who is there for you for 6 years, suddenly not be there anymore. The first few weeks were the hardest, as I would cry and avoided Second Life all together. Luckily I have a strong Second Life support network” explains Alicia.

“Bill” has had a relationship recently end, but not in the same way as Alicia’s. “I check my emails at work and saw that my items had been returned. I at first thought it was a mistake. I sent my Second Life wife an email, to clarify. I received nothing, so thought it was a system error or something. That night I logged on and tried to teleport to the homestead I shared with my wife, Sam. It said access denied. I didn’t notice at first that I had been removed from her friend’s list; I simply thought my friend’s list had not loaded. I imed her with no response, nothing. I could not believe what had happened. I finally logged onto an alt and asked her what was going on and her response was that she had grown bored of our two year relationship and had moved on. I was a mixed range of emotions at that moment and could not believe what had happened”, Bill explained.

Both Bill and Alicia had advice for people to mend their hearts in Second Life. They both suggested that after a breakup, you take a break from Second Life, whether it’s a few days or a week or a month. They also agreed that once you do return to Second Life, surround yourself with positive people. Do not go to previous locations that remind you of the person you broke up with. Also avoid all contact initially, let the other person contact you if they want to. Find new hobbies in Second Life and get out and explore. “I rediscovered Second Life, after being with someone for 6 years, “said Alicia. “It was hard to go on my own, but after a while I did and I have made new friends. It still hurts and I am single in Second Life, but I get better each day”.


  1. Hi there,

    This is very well written, and absolutely the best advice I have ever seen on this subject. I hope you don't mind.....
    but I am going to post a Headline link to this on my "Virtual World Technologist" blog. The logic applies to all virtual world relationships. Thank You.

    JayR Cela :_)

  2. This is what I needed to read....I just hope I can go through this.

    1. Me too Glad someone else is going thru/has been this.

  3. I was at work when my partner of almost 4 years ended our relationship. We owned a business together that was my brainchild but she wanted it and wanted me to leave immediately. It came totally out of the blue, no signs or hints that she was unhappy, We married in SL and to me that marriage was very real. She was my ONE. I treated her like a princess and would have done anything for her although I never saw a video chat of her or even a recent photo. People in my real life thought I was crazy as I am 34 years old and I was wasting my life in love with someone who refused to meet me in the real world. She ghosted me and blocked every means of me communicating with her and after 6 months I am still devastated. I love her still and it as if she died, I never try to go around her or find her and I joined totally different social circles but every night before I sleep she is the last thing I think of and the 1st when I wake up. I know I need to leave SL but I will go away for a week then find myself back there with nowhere to go or nothing to do as my whole second life was her. I found out she has moved in and is dating someone and I want her to be happy but the grief is so intense. Anyone that thinks that online relationships cannot be very intense and real just cannot understand. Because people can just ghost and do not have to look into your eyes as they break it off makes it less real to them. People like that lack empathy and compassion and I will never trust someone online again.


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