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Monday, December 22, 2014

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

This article is back by popular demand

Christmas is fast approaching and I wanted to interview Santa because he is this holiday’s most popular mascot. However, it seems St. Nick was upset with me and too busy trying to re-edit the naughty list. Apparently someone hacked his computer and saved a bunch of avatars from receiving lumps of coal this year.  *innocent look*

I tried to interview Mrs. Clause but she declined my offer stating that they felt I was the culprit behind the hack attack. Not having much of a choice on who else to interview, I decided to ask one of Santa’s elves who was in a barn shoveling reindeer berries into a pile and going on a verbal rampage to himself.

Interview with a Disgruntled Elf

I approached him with caution in case he had the nerve to swing that shovel at me for sneaking up on him.

Lanai: Hi there Mr. Elf, I was in the area and was wondering if I can interview you about Christmas in Second Life. Do you have some time?

Elf: Hey Lanai what are you doing here?!? First of all, my name is Jeffrey and I don’t think you should be anywhere near Santa’s house. Word around the North Pole is you got into his naughty list and did some rearranging of names.

 Last night he went on a drunken rant about how you walk around the grid like you are the queen of Second Life and snooping around doing all kinds of mischief.

Lanai: Is that so?

Jeffrey the Elf: He has been watching you for some time now and is looking for a tabloid that will interview him for a tell-all about you. From what he was saying, you have been a very naughty girl and just a heads up… he has some paparazzi shots to prove it.

Lanai: So? I’ll admit I did a couple things this year that would totally cause a riot between my FWBs, things that would make a stripper blush, cause an intervention, or make my parents cry in shame but that’s my business!  I’m grown.

Jeffrey the Elf: I have to admit that is kind of hot and I wouldn’t mind being added to your FWB list.

Lanai: oh good grief.

Jeffrey the Elf: Anyway, Santa has a special present for you since you have been so bad on top of hacking his computer. He sent me out here to round up a steaming pile just for you.

Lanai: OMG are you serious? Whatever happened to being innocent before proven guilty ? Besides that, Jolly old St. Nick was going naughty list happy on all my friends. I had to do something!

Jeffrey the Elf: Well little lady you caused some serious havoc here in the North Pole! Santa was on a budget because of his gambling and drinking problem so some avatars had to be put on the naughty list. There are not enough of us elves to make up all the presents this year.

Lanai: Why? What happened to all the elves that handled the Christmas load last year?

Jeffrey the Elf: Well *looks around* Santa is cheap. Besides that, he really sucks as a boss, treating us like sweat shop workers.  Can you believe he tried to pay us with McDonald coupons for free Sundaes and 20% off Sleigh Rides around the Clause Family Compound. To top it all off,  as a bonus, he gave us each a fruitcake! 

Aside from all that, look what he has me doing now? If I didn’t need a place to stay I would be soaking up the sun on a nude beach somewhere on the other side of the grid.

Lanai: Interesting. SO anyway Jeffrey, is there a way you can sugarcoat Santa and all the wonderful things he does for others on Christmas? I want to give my readers a pleasant Christmas article.

Jeffrey the Elf: *Sighs* Santa is one of the kindness mascots you will meet.  He’s always jolly and…

Lanai: Ok nvm. That’s enough fluff.

Jeffrey the Elf: SO Lanai, how would you like this gift delivered?

Lanai: Ummm… send it to 945 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA 94111 C/O: Linden Lab

Merry Christmas SLE Fans. 

Have a Save and Happy Holiday!

Special Thanks to Phil & Glossom Jonesford


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