In Second Life anything is possible including bumping into holiday mascots running amuck amidst the residents. Every year the SL Enquirer sets out in search of these elusive creatures for an interview and something weird always happens. One thing is for certain, these mascots have a sense of humor only the most twisted of minds could love and none other than Lanai Jarrico is right on the forefront to capture the insanity.
Interview with Cupid 2015
Lanai: Hi Cupid! We meet once again to discuss your upcoming big day. What have you been up to in preparation?
Cupid: Oh it’s the one and only Missss Lanai Jarrico! I was just thinking of you. To what do I owe this honor?
Lanai: Aww Cupid you are a sweetheart, thank you for meeting with me. You know I look forward to this every year. So what’s new? Got anything special planned for Valentine’s Day?
Cupid: Of Course! I just got my arrows sharpened and I’m going to put a new spin on Valentine’s Day. Every year I notice the volume of bad breakups and drama increase. I thought about what I could do to help these tragic unhappy endings become fairy tales with happy endings.
Lanai: OK…. So what is the solution?
Cupid: I’ve added a special ingredient to my arrow elixir. Spiking drinks at local clubs and bars wasn’t really doing the long-term job.
Lanai: So what might this special ingredient be?
Cupid: It is a combination of bon sens, tension sexuelle, autenticidad and imprudence essence from the tree of knowledge.
Lanai: so you are saying common sense, sexual tension, authenticity and imprudence are the key to a successful relationship in Second Life?
Cupid: Well yes, think about it. Everyone needs common sense and authenticity would be nice. There are many in Second life who lack these qualities, have split personalities and seem to blur the lines between what is real and what is fantasy. If you ask me, personally I think they need a bitch slap instead of an arrow. Sexual tension is needed to keep the flame burning and imprudence is needed to kind of balance out the cheating trait. We all know one of the main causes of breakups is virtual infidelity. It stems from time zone differences, boredom and all of the cheap and easy girls and guys that swagger around the grid in search of quick shameless romps.
Lanai: You got a point there Cupid. So, how do you plan on administering this elixir to the majority of the population in Second Life. It seems everyone is in some sort of drama or hooking up these days.
Cupid: I have come up with a master plan that includes your help.
Lanai: My help? Are you sure this is a good idea?
Cupid: Absolutely! When it comes to making connections, you are the one that comes to mind. Not only are you one of the most beautiful avatars on the grid, you conduct yourself with great poise and dignity.
Lanai: Ok cut the shit Cupid. What do you need me to do?
Cupid: I want you to drink the elixir and kiss everyone in Second Life.
Lanai: What!?! I will do no such thing!
Cupid: OK the alternative is I need you to spit in this cup.
Cupid: The elixir isn’t complete without the final ingredient.
Lanai: Don’t you think that’s kinda gross? Why would my spit play an important role in your master plan?
Cupid: You don’t get it do you? You have a magical ability to connect people. With your essence in this elixir, the Valentine spell will be powerful.
Lanai: OMG this is so unladylike…. *conjures up the most obscene amount of flem and spits it in Cupid’s wine glass* Sorry. SL is a large community and since I have a noble intention in mind to help the SL community at large I mustered as much as I could.
Cupid: Dang Lanai, I asked for spit not a whole lung! Anyway. Now let me test it on this bunny.
Lanai: Wait! I want no part in animal testing. The Easter Bunny is going to be pissed! It is also cruel and unusual treatment. Easter is around the corner and we do not want Second Life over-run by half breed Viagra rabbit D/s vampires.
Cupid: Oh please. Half breeds have been part of this virtual world community for quite some time. Why do you think family role play has become so popular? Everyone is starting to look for a new identity a midst the chaos. It is time we take our community back and make it civilized.
Lanai: Let me remind you that you walk around wearing a fig leaf and wings. Perhaps you should have added real life to the Valentine concoction….
Cupic: mmmmmmm Lanai you are too cute. I have another idea.... before you go I want to ask you something.
Lanai: What the.........OHHHH For F**Ks sake, you drank some of that concoction didn’t you?!?........
Happy Valentine’s Day SL Fans! xoxoxo