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Tuesday, October 13, 2015


 “Virtual relationships” is the subject of interest for many people. I believe that nobody enters this virtual environment just to be alone. In a certain way, everybody wants to meet other people and establish some kind of relationship, even if it’s a temporary one.

Talking to some friends I realized that most of them keep some kind of relationship in their Second Life. Some of those are really happy, healthy and permanent.
The Second life is an environment where we can keep in touch with people from different cultures all over the world. Virtual relationships just happen, one way or another, as soon as we meet different people. Some people get emotionally involved. It just naturally happens, even if we don’t want to. Many of us get so involved in those relationships that it starts affecting our real life. I know some couples, who with some time together, passed through the Second Life barriers and had some contact in real life.

In another conversation with my friends, they told me that the things they most like to do when they’re online are: meeting new people (especially of the opposite sex), talking, exploring, dating and even virtual sex. For the majority of men and women the pleasure and seduction are the best things in SL.  Many consider SL a great place to learn about human interactions and experimenting with fantasies they may not feel confident or able to try in the real world. I find this concept very interesting.  When I was exploring the grid, I saw some unusual events, which we may never see in real life.

For example, I saw a man and a little cat girl purring and flirting in the open chat. I also saw a beautiful lonely elf girl, waiting for someone to interact with.

I am also curious to observe people being able to fulfill their fantasies and fetishes in a variety of ways.

The question is in all these scenarios is, what actually works in a virtual relationship?

After some long talks with my friends I realized that relationships, the successful ones, are the ones that are based on understanding each other’s differences and the limitations in having a virtual relationship.

The most important thing is that our real life experience on this subject can’t be applied in virtual relationships. We can even see some people making the same real life mistakes in second life. It’s like the famous quote: “Wherever you go, there you are”.

Mutual respect, caring, complicity and most important the positive vibes, the willingness to be together, that’s what keeps the relationships happy.
 Above all things, if you want a relationship to be permanent, just put the jealousy aside. After all, everyone wants to have fun, that’s what SL is about, with no real life dramas added to the mix.

Here are 10 Commandments for Virtual Relationships.
  1. §   Don’t be jealous
  2. §   Leave the dramas at the door
  3. §   Have interests in common;
  4. §   Respect each other’s boundaries
  5. §   Be creative and spontaneous
  6. §   Don’t let the routine depress the relationship
  7. §   Don’t isolate. Keep other Second Life friendships, not only with your partner.
  8. §   Have the same expectations of your partner about bringing the SL relationship to real life.
  9. §   Respect each other’s feelings
  10.    Share the same fantasies.

Special thanks to: Max and Matt, who posed with me, for the photos; Joymell, the beautiful lonely elf girl; the unknown couple, the man and the cat girl; Pryamel and Majamela; a romantic couple and Dino, for helping me with my English.
Note: This article was translated from Portuguese to English


  1. Relationships are always complicated. Even in SL.

  2. My Savana and I have been together for 16 months now and we have learned so much. I concur that there is no room for jealousy in a successful relationship. There must be 100% mutual trust. Don't have unrealistic expectations of your partner either. Understand your love's real life commitments and help out when you can. Be willing to invest in your relationship. I personally write a nightly Love Letter (NC)every night before bed for her to read when she logs on after work in Australia. Be a friend! And on and on it goes. Just like a real life marriage in so many ways.


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