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Showing posts with label D/s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label D/s. Show all posts

Sunday, February 9, 2020

P3: How to be OK being alone- Join the discussion February 9th at 7pm SLT

Do you know how to be alone and be OK with it? What urges do you need to fight to be OK? This will be our discussion topic when the P3 Community gathers tonight to share insights and suggestions. Everyone is welcome. Friendly to new folks. In voice. Text OK. Quality D/s without the BS. 

Jae and Tricia
Owners, P3 (Pleasure Power Passion)

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The D/S Lifestyle in SL- Interview with Doms, Mistresses and Slaves about the meaning of a D/S Lifestyle – Camury Reporting

D/S is an acronym for Dominance and Submission that are directly related to the practice of sadomasochism and part of BDSM (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism). D/S provides fans the possibility of obtaining pleasure through the erotic power exchange, which may or may not involve submission, psychological torture and other means that hold some misconceptions.

The D/S lifestyle for many people who don't understand it- see it as taboo or something "morally wrong". However, talking to some people practicing D/s in second life, I realized that the vast majority of people who play D/s in second life, do not practice this relationship in their real lives.

Some avatars I interviewed told me that the D/s relationship SL is generally an erotic activity and the sessions are permeated with virtual sex. However, D/S in general is predominantly a source of pleasure and not always all about sex. It involves rules and compliance, which may or may not have sexual overtones. Depending on your agreement, a dominant, for example, may require that his/her submissive is online at specific  SL times.

By default, the practice requires, honor, trust and respect.  These practices are carried out with the mutual consent of the participants, causing them to enjoy the pleasure together.
In a D/s, power is given to the dominant. The submissive must obey, by free will, performing tasks and obeying orders.

Miss Ebbage is a Slave in SL. I asked her about the submission and slave relationship with her owner, and she told me: The Dominator/submissive relationship is based on the pleasure of giving the submissive and to command the dominant. The most important is that the meek are the property of their dominant. The submission does not have the option of serving more than one Dominant unless their dominant specifically instructs you to do this.”

In Second Life, it is common Dominants are addressed with noble titles such as Sir, Lord, Queen, master, owner, among other titles chosen by the dom. Submissive individuals can identify themselves in several ways from the most humble being a servant, slave or even sissy is commonplace for those who like to be humiliated.

Mr. Colossus is a Master in SL. I asked him about how it is as a master, and he told me: “The master is the dominator.  One way of expressing D/S relationships in-world is the use of a collar that is belonging to the Top (Dominator or Dominatrix) concerning its use to submissive. When receive the collar, the submissive must honor its owner and the teachings that his owner gave him during the so-called period of training”. The use of collar is widespread in second life, even among couples who claim not to use other practices of the D / S relationship.

Miss Visconti is Mistress in SL. I asked her about the D/S relationship, and she told me: In a D/S relationship, the dominant imposes rules to submissive avatar. If the rules are not followed there will be punishment. The Spanking is a form of punishment, which is widespread in second life. In addition to the spanking, other more recreational activities such as petplay, or the use of ropes, sales and gags can be used to humiliate and punish the Submissive. Several devices can be used with the same purpose as objects that simulate physical and sexual torture.”

The relationship D/S should be seen as an erotic game for adults where the submissive  individual is controlled in detail, from the clothes he/she wears to the things he or she says and does during the game.

 After the conversations I had with the supporters of this practice in the second life, I discovered that many people come into play D/S are curious.  But in general, are little lasting relationships that dissolve quickly, as soon as one party is tired of the "game".

My conclusion is that there are few who take the D/s relationship seriously. The vast majority consider it an erotic game and just one among so many other ways to have fun in Second Life.

What are your thoughts on D/s in Second life? Share your comment below.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

What people will do for love? - Lacy Muircastle reporting ...

Please note that this is an opinion piece, and does not represent the views or opinions of the publisher.

On the back of the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie last week, and the storm in a teacup it caused, with those saying it condones abuse etc. I thought I would poke around the lifestyle in Second Life.

I rather like vanilla, don’t you?  Added to milk it makes a refreshing drink, when baking, added to cakes it makes the house smell amazing, but it appears that vanilla has other connotations attached to it that have nothing to do with flavoured milk or an ingredient in cakes.  I understand that to be ‘vanilla’ means to have boring or mundane sexual preferences.  Clearly I am boring then.

I have a friend, a platonic friend by the way, who told me “Oh you are so nice, vanilla, but nice.” A bit of a backhanded compliment to say the least.  I in turn asked said friend to enlighten me as to what it was he thought I was missing out on.  He then proceeded to take me on a tour of BDSM and D/s sims and venues available in Second Life.  Who knew there were so many and that ‘the lifestyle’ was so prevalent in SL?  But I was still not convinced that it was something I could get in to.

Out in the real world BDSM and the D/s lifestyle, think Fifty Shades of Grey, are not very obvious, giving it the air of being erotic and ever so naughty. In my opinion it makes more sense in RL than in SL, as from what I understand, the main thrust (forgive the pun) of it is all about control and domination, with a side order of pain and submission.  Just typing this makes my hair stand on end, I absolutely hate the thought of being punished for something that is supposed to be mutually satisfying and enjoyable, and therefore I am not a good candidate to be a submissive in the true sense of the word, and handing over total control of myself to another person is unthinkable to me.

Okay so now you understand that I DON’T get the concept of the BDSM lifestyle, therefore I asked a couple of people I know who do live the lifestyle to tell me what the appeal is.

From a SL submissive’s point of view:

LM: In your opinion what does the D/s BDSM life style entail and personally what is its appeal?

The D/s part of the lifestyle came naturally for me, I have an innate desire to be controlled in almost every aspect of my daily life. Of course many decisions regarding my work must be made by me, but Master has given His approval on handling those parts of my life. The need to give control to my Master is soothing and is essential for my life's journey. I crave the strong hand of not only a Dominant, but of someone who truly cares about me and my well being. I am not a weak, fragile person, but a strong business woman, and with all that responsibility I tend to immerse myself in a world where I am guided by a partner who is larger, stronger, and wiser than myself.  It is only when I feel the bondage of the collar and the restraint of the leash that I am truly relaxed and at peace with myself and my environment. The Dominant in my life is a main focal point to my happiness, and therefore it is a pleasure to please him.

LM: Are they separate entities (so can you embrace the D/s lifestyle, without the BDSM elements) or are they irrevocably intertwined?

My personal opinion is no, D/s and BDSM do not go hand in hand. Many people I know do not engage in bondage, S & M, or pain play, and they simply live the D/s lifestyle, which is giving control to one partner. I also know of people that enjoy BDSM play but cease D/s relations after the scene collar comes off.

“It’s hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel. ” 

From a RL married sub to her Dom on Valentine's Day ....

Inside the bedroom, I am His. Outside, we are great friends, partners and spouses. He completes me, he makes me whole.

Sir:  This is our 14th Valentine’s Day together.  Time flies when you are having fun.  Thank you for being there always.  You are my strength when I am weak, my comfort when I am down, my courage when I am afraid.  Thank you for being patient with me through the years and teaching me to embrace my sub.  Thank You for waiting for me to join you on this journey.  I crave your touch, the sound of your voice as you say “Good Girl,” the look on your face as you come, the Dom that wants to ravage His kneeling sub, thToe delicious pain entwined with pleasure as you play with me, the intricate rope work and beautiful scenes you bring to life, and the unique flavor you bring to our dynamic.  Thank you for your Dom – it is a most beautiful and special gift of self.  Happy Valentine’s Day my Love!  Your SFT.

From a Dominant’s point of view:

LM : In your opinion what does the D/s BDSM life style entail and personally what is its appeal?

There is a somewhat common belief that Dominance entails a lot of shouting and bullying people around, and that Dominants should be belligerent and confrontational, always eager to get their own way at the expense of others. If that were true, then this lifestyle would certainly hold no appeal to me.

What I believe real Dominance requires are traits that are more subtle and constructive, such as empathy, understanding, patience, humor, and a strong urge to care and protect the submissive, as well as guide and teach her. He must remain firm in his behavior, but willing to adjust and adapt as the situation demands. He must be patient with his submissive, but at the same time insistent that she fulfill her obligations and duties to the letter. He must project strength of character and confidence, but at the same time be able to laugh at himself and at all of life's inanities. It's a tightrope act that many new people in the lifestyle may not realize lies behind the somewhat simplistic facade of what Dominance means.

 Slipping into the D/s lifestyle was very natural for me. For example, I am the oldest in the family, and I have always had the strong and innate urge to protect and care for my younger brothers and
sister. This was true even when I was very young, when most siblings tend to be competitive towards one another. My mother told us how one day a classmate in elementary school was pushing around my youngest brother, and I had immediately confronted the aggressor and told him
to never to do that again, and this had been enough to dissuade the bully from bothering my brother.

Finally, D/s appeals to me because it creates a structured orderly framework that enhances and supports the relationship between two (or more) people. As such, it is not essential to my life, merely a tool. But in the context of something greater, like Love, D/s is synergistic and provides an extremely satisfying way to investigate and understand and explore the many niches and secret hollows of a relationship.

LM: Are they separate entities (so can you embrace the D/s lifestyle, without the BDSM elements) or are they irrevocably intertwined?

In my opinion, D/s and the sexual aspects of BDSM are not irrevocably intertwined. Many people engage in D/s interactions, but without the baser aspects of the lifestyle - people can and do derive pleasure from D/s without the addition of sexual play. Saying that, I personally enjoy the full range of BDSM.

 “So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.” “It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy, even in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy – it’s a very simple equation.” “Okay, and what do I get out of this?” He shrugs and looks almost apologetic. “Me,” he says simply. ”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

So about condoning abuse then, like most controversial issues, you will have those for and those against, and in reality some of the things that go on in the real world make anything in Fifty Shades of Grey pale into insignificance.  In my opinion the real attraction to the 'lifestyle' is control, and if you think about who really has the control in a D/s relationship?  In my opinion it is the submissive who has the control, but in the end it all boils down to that very complicated issue of love and what people will do for love.

OpenCollar is an open source project within SecondLife™

When you freely give your will to someone in Second Life, you shouldn't have to spend hundreds (or thousands) of lindens on a collar to make it more real.  Now you don't have to.  OpenCollar provides a free, high quality collar with open source scripts.