HOLIDAY MASCOT SERIES: Interview with The Easter Bunny 2025- Making Amends -Lanai Jarrico Reporting

I’ve gone an entire year since speaking to the Easter Bunny. He was upset about a prank gone wrong when I “accidentally” switched his shampoo with Nair and he spent the better part of the year in hiding while growing back his fur. After tracking him down at a local park,  I apologized, and he accepted. We sat down to partake in some easter grass together.  

Lanai: Hey you, I just wanted to apologize for that prank I pulled on you last year. I can’t believe the other mascots didn’t warn you. In my defense,  that was one wild mascot party. Whatever strain of grass that was passed around last year. It was potent and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Quite frankly I was high AF and it was funny at the time.

Easter Bunny: *rolls eyes* Don’t remind me. I was so pissed at you for that. I almost bombed your house with spoiled easter eggs but got chased away by that feral thing you call a cat.

Lanai: You mean my next-door neighbor? He’s not a cat, he’s a furry and I’m glad he had my back. I would have been pissed and this pranking back and forth would have escalated to the next level of friendly combat.

Easter Bunny: No worries! I don’t have the time or energy to continue with the animosity and fallout from any further drama with you Ms. Jarrico. The other mascot and I would like to form a truce. We understand the nature of your work and are willing to work with you under the conditions you stop pranking and harassing us.

Lanai: Fine. 

Easter Bunny: You are a competitive and fierce woman. You have proven that so I am glad we agree on peace. So, I assume you want to do an interview about Easter. How can I help?

Lanai: Thank you for the flowers. I appreciate it. *sparks the doobie and takes a hit, coughs and passes it* So, last year, how did the day end up going for you?

Easter Bunny:*takes a hit* Well… after searching the marketplace for a suitable bunny onesie, I was able to deliver easter baskets across the grid without shame and embarrassment. I even made a  new friend. *passes it back*

Lanai: Oh Yeah? I’m glad it all worked out and Easter went on without delay. I heard about your falling out with the Lucky Charms Leprechaun back in mascot College. Sounds like you can use a new buddy.

Easter Bunny: OMG that little imp. I got kicked off  Mascot College campus because he didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut about the little grass operation we were involved in. For the record he is the one with all the connections. I was just distributing products that he supplied.

Lanai: I see. He was a snitch and you took the downfall. Yea I got the sense he couldn’t be trusted to do a crime around.  So, Tell me about your new friend and then we can discuss your Easter plans. *Takes a hit and passes it back*

Easter Bunny:  TY.  *sparks it back up takes a hit and goes into a coughing fit*

OMG…That’s some good shit right there! Anyway,  During my Easter delivery route, I had to take a potty break. I came across a vampire crying in the alley near a local Blood bank and I was compelled to go over and talk to him. It turns out the Vampire community is in a crisis. There’s a shortage of blood and many of their drinking spots are trying to pass off cherry Kool Aid as an alternative. When I offered him a hug, he tried to bite me. He snapped back to reality when I slapped him. He apologized and offered to take me to a place where they have the best lap dancers on the grid.

Lanai: So that’s how peeps make up nowadays? So, What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

Easter Bunny: What?

Lanai: Anyway,  I meant to say. Poor Vampires. I hope they figure that out. We don’t need a biting epidemic in Second life.

Easter Bunny: I agree.  So,  this year my plans were to make my own chocolate easter bunnies with some THC infusion to go along with the Easter basket deliveries. I also wanted to set up a place where avies can go and take pictures with yours truly.

Lanai: Isn’t it kinda weird to make chocolate easter bunnies? Humans don’t go around eating people shaped candy. Why would you encourage eating bunnies?  Why not do infused lollipops or gummies? Peeps seem to enjoy those types of candies too. Also, if you want to offer pictures with the easter bunny, I’ll set up a spot at The SL Enquirer Media Center for you, You can also host the annual Easter Egg decorating contest.

Easter Bunny: Hmmmm. I never thought about it that way. I guess you’re right. I’ll see what I can come up with and that would be great!

Lanai: Easter isn’t all about candy and grass filled baskets. What else can you tell me about this holiday and how did you get involved?

Easter Bunny: Well, Bunnies symbolize fertility and new life. We also represent the beginning of spring and the promise of new beginnings.

Lanai: I get the part about rabbits being known for their prolific breeding habits so the symbol of fertility is fitting.  Did you know back in the 1920’s up until the 1960’s they used rabbits for pregnancy testing? They would inject a rabbit with a woman’s urine, kill them, and examine their ovaries. If they were enlarged, it showed that the woman was pregnant.

Easter Bunny: Well damn that's an uncomfortable fun fact. I’m glad I’m male!

Lanai: You’re welcome. I’m all about educating the public on facts that don’t make sense. Anyway,  so do you have anything else you’d like to talk about or share with our readers before you get started on Easter preps?

Easter Bunny: I just want everyone to have a Happy Easter and to remember to always read the labels to the candy you eat. I don’t want to be held responsible for anyone getting so high they do stuff like switching shampoo with nair or being so plastered they can’t remember the day and the real reason for the holiday.

Lanai: Well said.

HAPPY EASTER YA’LL

Special Thanks to DJ Mack Abbott

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HOLIDAY MASCOT SERIES:HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Interview with a Leprechaun- Lanai Jarrico Reporting

Once again a holiday pops up and Lanai is on the assignment to locate a holiday mascot to interview. The previous mascots seem to be intimidated and go out of their way to avoid her but she always seems to get them to give in to an interview.  This year is a bit different since many of the leprechauns have been in the witness protection program. One lucky leprechaun was available and had no choice but to answer her questions.

Lanai: Ha! There you are, you little rascal! I knew I would find you stocking this grocery store with your Lucky Charms Cereal. Now that I have you cornered. Will you do an interview with me?

Lucky the Leprechaun: AHHHHhhAHHHH! *falls of the shelf*  If it isn’t the infamous Lanai… Who told you I was here? I bet it was that good for nothing Cupid. The way he was ranting at the Avatar Anonymous meeting about you, he’s the only buffoon who would cave to your demands.

Lanai: Maybe…. Maybe Not. You aren’t exactly the most popular holiday mascot in the bunch so it was easy to find you at the local Aldi’s

Lucky the Leprechaun: Why don’t you tell me how you really feel. Sheesh, the nerve of these dirty blondes. That’s why I stick to redheads…

Lanai: Look here you little imp. With all your relatives in the witness protection program, you are the only loud mouth gnome like creature I could find for this interview. If I had the choice I would have interviewed a Keebler Elf in the next aisle over.

Lucky the Leprechaun: *gasps* How dare you compare me to one of them! They make the worst cookies ever!

Lanai: Hello and you make the worst cereal ever. Have you tasted your own marshmallows? What are they made of? chalk and food coloring?

Lucky the Leprechaun: Are you kidding me! How dare you insult me in my place of employment. Now if you don’t mind I have shelves to stock!

Lanai: Listen here you wannabe elf on a shelf, don’t make me fold you like a lawn chair and mail you to the north pole. Let’s get this interview over with so I can move on to better things.

Lucky the Leprechaun: What! Oh no you didn’t! What kind of reporter are you? Going around harassing and threatening holiday mascots. You should be ashamed of yourself. Don’t you have anything better to do?

Lanai: Don’t flatter yourself and stop being so hostile. Don’t you want to be known by the SLE readers on St. Patrick's Day? It should be an honor. It may even promote that poor excuse for a breakfast cereal you so proudly endorse.

Lucky the Leprechaun: There you go again! Was that insult necessary? Why do you have to be so mean?

Lanai: Why do you have to be so difficult? All I wanted to ask is what your plans were for St. Patrick’s Day.

Lucky the Leprechaun: If you promise to leave me alone and never talk to me again.I will do this interview.

Lanai: believe me when I say.. I promise to never talk to you again or eat that cereal of yours.

Lucky the Leprechaun: I get it, you don’t like Lucky Charms. Since the price of sugar has gone up. I’m forced to find alternatives. To answer your question, my plans were to go stay in my shared room at the halfway house with my bunkie, Netflix and Chill. I have been sober for 2 years now so I really don’t see no point in celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. It’s what got me in trouble in the first place. I’m on work release right now over the repeated DUI’s on my moped.

Lanai: That explains the monitor you have on your ankle. Look, I didn’t come here to cause you more grief then you are already in. Get back to stocking those shelves. Before I go, have any idea where I can find the Easter Bunny?

Lucky the Leprechaun: As a matter of fact I do. Him and I have never seen eye to eye. Back in mascot college he got caught with a pound of Easter Grass and tried to blame it on me and we both got expelled. I have been looking to get him back! You will find him at The Ganja Farms where they have the best breedable cannabis on the grid. I heard his plan was to smuggle it out in Easter baskets.

Lanai: Thank you for snitching… I mean… helping me out.

Lucky the Leprechaun: Just keep your promise and leave me alone for good.

Happy St. Patrick's Day Ya'll!

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HOLIDAY MASCOT SERIES: Interview with Cupid 2025- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

 

Recently I met up with Father Time who seemed annoyed but still did an interview.  He reminded me why Cupid and I had a falling out so not only did I go on my quest to find him but I wanted to apologize for last year. I really didn’t mean to beat him to a pulp with a fist full of roses. I don’t like to get startled. With that said, I search across the grid and found him minding his own business at  Japanese Tempura  Island where he was taking a Tai Chi Class.

Lanai: CUPID! Long time no see! Let me apologize for last year. I really didn’t mean to attack you with roses. I’m sorry *makes a pouty face*

Cupid: OMG, it’s you! Stay away from me. You are like a sour patch kid commercials amplified!  Can’t you see I’m busy!

Lanai: Don’t tell me you are still butt hurt over what happened. It’s been a year, let that shit go. You shouldn’t have startled me. You know my swing reflex is something different..

Cupid: Something different?? That was totally a manic Karen episode! To top it all off you were trespassing in MY garden!

Lanai: Cupid, you know you love me so stop putting up a front. Father time told me all about your holiday date switching plan to avoid me. That’s not how you treat your FWB.

Cupid: Oh he did? So you tracked him down too? You are supposed to stay at least 500 yards away from me.

Lanai: Yea.. that expired.  And stop acting jealous. You didn't have to get the other mascots involved in our personal business.

Cupid: Ohh they have their own reasons for avoiding you. Do I need to remind you what you did to the Easter Bunny on April Fools day? He had to wear a furry pink onesie on Easter and  spent the rest of the year hiding so his own fur would grow back in. He looked like a giant overstuffed mole rat with big ears. I never want to see a grown Easter Bunny ugly cry ever again in my life. It’s horrifying.

Lanai:  It was kinda funny… at the time. Don’t tell me you never switched someone's shampoo for Nair before. Live a little.

Cupid: NO!!! That’s a terrible prank.  What about the time you caused a vicious fight between Larry the Leprechaun and one of Santa’s helpers. They accidentally sewed the wrong ear onto the other. I don’t think they ever found the other missing ear.

Lanai: Hey, that had nothing to do with me. I was at The Blarney Stone having a couple drinks while minding my own business when I heard them arguing about who’s taller. All I did was say, Larry had about a centimeter over the elf. That's when the ear tugging began and well. Yea , that wasn't my fault!

Cupid: MMhmm. Ok what about the time you put cannabis oil in Mrs. Clause’s brownies and  Santa got pulled over while delivering Christmas presents. Good thing everyone loves Santa and they let him off with a warning. Mrs. Clause broke an ankle trying to dance on the table and slipped.  You nearly canceled Christmas for everyone!

Lanai: Wasn’t me.

Cupid: Lanai, you dropped your medical marijuana card and Mrs.Claus found it in her kitchen… Why do you think you got coal this year?

Lanai:Oh, I was wondering where it was. About the coal though,  I collect rocks and figured it was a thoughtful gift! All I was doing was adding a little jolliness to his long night. Lighten up, Christmas was a success. I heard even naughty kids got presents this year.

Cupid: SMH. Why are we having this interview again?

Lanai: Because Valentine’s day is coming up and I wanted to know if you had any words of wisdom for all the lovers out there.

Cupid: Well first of all to any guy who has the slightest interest in asking you to be their Valentine should think twice. Your reputation for being a heartbreaker is probably the most frequently used search term on the internet next to Drones in New Jersey.

Lanai: Anyway…You are just mad that I wouldn't be your Valentine. Remember the time I caught you trying to play a harp at my window while humming a rap song? That was really weird. Of course I threw a shoe at you and turned you down.

Cupid: See. You can’t even appreciate a kind gesture after an amazing time. You… You… heart of stone Queen! I totally regret that night.

Lanai: Not the night before though… lol.  Stop spreading fake news and work on your name calling…

Cupid:*facepalm*  Lanai, you have a way of making people love and hate you at the same time. I’m not sure where this interview is going but I need to pick up my arrows and get ready for Valentine’s day. I have Love to spread.

Lanai: So do I.   I’ll see you later. *winks*

Cupid: *rolls eyes* You are something else. Want to Netflix and chill?

Lanai: Are you asking me out?

Cupid: No…

Lanai: OK, come over.

Special thanks to Edge Catteneo

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HOLIDAY MASCOT SERIES: Interview with Father Time- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Time sure does fly when you are havin fun, But it also does the same sitting on your ass planning your next move.

Looking back at the past year. It has been one hellified journey for me. Between family matters, friendship matters, work life, SL life and all the fuckery in between.  I’m exhausted. Time has a way of coming at us in waves. There’s ups and downs, back and forth and at the end of it all, we are left thinking WTF happened to the year! It’s now the end of January and I’m wondering what surprises are to come. The good, the bad and yessss… even the ugly.

For the most part, I try to keep my nose clean. I work, pay my bills, feed my cat and keep keepin’ on with my day to day stuff. If I told you what I really was up to yall would collectively do a citizen's arrest and have me committed to a place that would protect me from myself.

Anyway, When the world begins to feel like I can’t possibly do anything else shameless, I turn to Second life and whip out my pen and begin to write.

 There’s nothing like bringing fantasy to life and reminding myself a good laugh is needed to balance things out. In the thick of things time is the most valuable thing we all have. It can’t be bought for any amount of money. There are no do overs, a rewind button or even a pause so what we do in the here and now should make us happy.

With that said, I set out to find Father time in Second Life. He tried to avoid me because it seems he doesn’t have the time for my Holiday Mascot Interviews. I heard from a friend of a friend that he thinks I’m a time waster. I was relentless until he finally gave in and decided to  sit down with me at a train station.

Interview with father time

Lanai: Hey Big Daddy, Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. It’s been a while. I think the last time we spoke I was about to make the craziest decision of my life until I got a flat tire and lost my debit card.

Father Time: Lanai, Ugh your nicknames are just… extra.  Of all the people I have met through the years, you stand out to me as the biggest pain in the ass but for some reason you find my weak spot.  You are a good kid when you are sleeping but a complete disaster the moment you wake up. I can write a whole series of history books just on you alone. SO what is it you wanted to interview me about?

Lanai: Well dang, tell me how you really feel.. No need to be a Scrooge.

Father Time: Hey watch your tone young lady and leave the Scrooge out of this. I cannot believe the prank you pulled on him this December. If I was him, I’d ban you from Christmas altogether but that's not my holiday to decide so I’ll leave that to him and Santa. I heard about what you did to him too.

Lanai: I didn't do anything to Scrooge. It was just  a glitter bomb. I thought it would brighten his day.

Father Time: Just a Glitter Bomb? Lanai ,has anyone ever told you to read the room before the things you do? Poor Scrooge had to hire a team of professionals to remove all that glitter from his entire neighborhood. They are still working on it and the bill is getting enormous.

Lanai: *blinks* Who doesn’t like glitter?

Father Time: *Sighs* Anyway, so what do you want with me? I was almost afraid to decline your interview offer when you found me trying to hop on a train to visit an old friend in the North pole.

Lanai: I just wanted to say hi and just get some of your wise insight about aging and what to expect next as I lean towards 50.

Father Time: 50? Are you kidding me? You are still a baby in my eyes. You still have about 3 years left. The only advice I can offer is start to stock up on butterscotch candy, get a few cats and learn to knit. Hell I don’t know what you almost half a century beings do with your time. For you specifically, word on the street is you still act like you are a defiant teenager going around stirring things up. I recently went to a holiday mascot support group and we spent an hour and a half discussing you. The mediator suggested we change holiday dates just to avoid you.

Lanai: You are such a drama queen. You make me out to be some kind of menace to SL society when I’ve been laying low these days. I’m finally coming around again and you wanna be all mean.

Father Time: Ok , you are wasting my time right now. I got a train to catch. What is this interview really about?

Lanai: Well, nothing really. I just wanted to prove to myself that Father time still has a little time for me. So thank you for that.

Father Time: You’re welcome… I think?

Lanai: Can you do me one small favor and I promise I won't bother you again for another year?

Father Time: What’s that?

Lanai: Can you tell Cupid he's next for an interview the next time you are at one of those weird holiday mascot support groups?

Father Time: Not sure that will go over well since he was appointed the mediator after that stunt you pulled on him last Valentine’s day. He is still pulling thorns out of hard to reach places. You had no business trespassing in Cupid’s Garden. Listen, I gotta go before I miss this train!

Lanai: o.O.  But wait! Let me defend myself. That sooooo wasn’t my fault, He startled me while I was attempting to pick roses.

Father Time: AHHHHHHHH!  I missed the train!  Lanai once again you managed to make me late!

Lanai: Don't’ worry the next train is coming soon. Thank you for your time. Gotta go!

Happy Belated New year All! 

Interview with Cupid Coming February 14th!

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Interview with Uncle Sam- Darron Buckenberger Reporting..

 

It’s 4th of July and what better way to celebrate this day in Second Life than an interview with Uncle Sam. He’s like that stoner Uncle everyone has that is always at the annual BBQ and everyone just rolls their eyes and laughs when he begins singing his favorite rendition of “Yankee Doodle” during  Karaoke…

Interview with Uncle Sam

Darron: Happy Fourth of July, Uncle Sam! Thanks for joining me here at the Enquirer Headquarters. How’s the barbecue treating you?

Uncle Sam: Happy Fourth, Darron! The barbecue’s great, though I’ve had to dodge a few overcooked hot dogs. You know how it is – can’t have a party without a little char! And I must say, this setup is quite… festive.

Darron: Absolutely! Nothing says freedom like a well-stocked rolling tray. So, Uncle Sam, what’s your favorite thing about celebrating the Fourth of July?

Uncle Sam: Oh, it’s gotta be the fireworks! Nothing lights up the sky like a good display of freedom. And, of course, the endless supply of potato salad. You can never have too much potato salad – or too many nugs, apparently.

Darron: Speaking of freedom, what do you think about the state of the nation these days? Any thoughts on the lively political scene?

Uncle Sam: Well, Darron, it’s a bit like this rolling tray – a lot of pieces, a lot of mess, but somehow it all comes together. Everyone’s got an opinion, and that’s the beauty of it. Freedom to speak your mind, even if it sometimes feels like a never-ending debate over who rolled the best joint.

Darron: True enough! And what about taxes? People say you have quite the knack for collecting them.

Uncle Sam: Ah, taxes. The necessary evil that keeps this party going. I always say, pay your dues, but make sure you’re getting your fair share of the pie. It’s not always perfect, but we’re working on it – like trying to get that perfect roll without spilling any nugs.

Darron: Speaking of pies, any dessert recommendations for today?

Uncle Sam: Definitely apple pie – with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream. And if you really want to impress, try a red, white, and blue trifle. It’s festive, delicious, and pairs well with a nice, relaxing smoke.

Darron: Yum! I’ll have to give that a try. Now, some folks think you hang out with some questionable characters. Any comments on that?

Uncle Sam: Well, every family has its characters, right? The important thing is to focus on the good – the people who work hard, support each other, and keep the spirit of the nation alive. And maybe we can all agree that a little less drama and a bit more cooperation would do us good. Sort of like sharing the last nug in the grinder.

Darron: Well said! And what’s your secret to giving those memorable speeches everyone talks about?

Uncle Sam: It’s all about timing. Start strong with a toast, throw in a few jokes, and when you see people reaching for another drink, or another joint, you know it’s time to wrap it up. Keep it short and sweet – like a good apple pie or a quick hit.

Darron: (laughs) You really know how to work a crowd! Now, Uncle Sam, any hidden talents?

Uncle Sam: Well, I can juggle flaming sparklers – just kidding! But I do have a mean karaoke rendition of “Yankee Doodle.” And I can roll a joint in under a minute, which I’d say is quite the talent.

Darron: Now that’s impressive! And finally, Uncle Sam, any last words of wisdom for our readers?

Uncle Sam: Enjoy the day with family and friends, eat well, laugh a lot, and remember – freedom is about enjoying the little things. And maybe skipping the heavy politics just for today. Oh, and always keep a box of Altoids handy – never know when you’ll need fresh breath.

Darron: Perfect advice. Thanks for the chat, Uncle Sam. Happy Fourth of July!

Uncle Sam: Anytime, Darron! Happy Fourth to all!

Darron: Wait a minute… is that a USB port on your neck?

Uncle Sam: (laughs) Oh, you caught me! Yep, I’m an AI cyborg. Helps keep the speeches consistent and the joints perfectly rolled.

Darron: Well, that explains a lot! Cheers to our cyborg Uncle Sam!

Uncle Sam: Cheers, Darron! And remember – in the land of the free, even AI can celebrate the Fourth of July!

Darron: Right! It’s just unfortunate that you can’t feel the effects of a well toked nug… I’ll be sure to take a hit for you!

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