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Monday, October 30, 2017

BREAKING NEWS! IT’S HALLOWEEN! Tights is the trending new costume for men in Second Life… Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Is that Peter Pan…. a pirate?…. perhaps a drag queen?…. No wait! It’s just a man in tights!
Have no fear Second Life residents, male ballerinas are not swan dancing across the grid to demasculinize an entire community this Halloween.  So,  let’s not jump to any conclusions.  Most  tight pants wearing men are happily married or involved with the opposite sex. Today is no different.
They fear not a feminine twist to their ensembles because they give zero fux what others think of them, especially on Halloween. But they ought to worry about the severe chafing, heat rashes, in particular in the grundle area, and other  SL health problems associated with fabrics that are to tight or abrasive.

 This is news worth reporting in a dying virtual community of minimalists who waddle the grid in search of freebies, sugar daddies, drama or meaningless sloppy sex in an unmeshed body.  This year, they are getting rid of the superhero capes and going to the extreme.
The whole  idea of tights is a way for men to show off their junk without really whipping it out and getting banned from the more uptight venues on the grid. Whatever the reason for the sudden Halloween trend, men across the grid are practicing tighism with pride and partying like nobody’s business.

The SL Enquirer was on the scene at one Halloween party when one mesh avie split his spray painted on jeggins whilst attempting a black flip split at the “Rock that Bod” Dance off Spectacular. He won the grand prize of 50 lindens and a gift certificate to a local clothing store.

 Another man complained of circulation issues surrounding his twig and berries while doing the electric slide while  another brave man did the running man to display his extra flexible pleather physics addition.

One party goer who wished to remain anonymous suggested it was a form of  effective male birth control before getting backhanded by his visibly pregnant girlfriend.
Another comment came from the restroom area. The voice sounded very similar to Mickey Mouse struggling to pulls his tights back up from a potty break.

At the exit a man was seen being escorted out of the club by three bouncers because he displayed a grotesquely lopsided cameltoe.
Rumor has it he was concealing a rubber chicken in his pants and threatening to cock slap the bartender.

The night quickly came to an end when a fist fight broke out between three females dressed like washed up Pussycat dolls who had a disagreement about the assortment of patterns being displayed by the men in tights.

Things are really heating up for Halloween and getting out of control.
Keep a close watch and you will see just how extremely sexy or obscenely horrific the men in tights look at your Halloween part as they strut on by in all their glory.

Be sure to drop to your knees and praise them either way. Let them know the SL Enquirer fully supports the movement or lack thereof. We know it is an acquired taste but we believe in short time, they will hang up the tights for business suits and redeem themselves of the “WTF was I thinking” moment they had in Second Life for Halloween.

This article is ridiculous and for shameless entertainment purposes only.  



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