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Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun- Lanai Jarrico Reporting..


Mascot series. We met up with Larry, after an Avatar Anonymous meeting. He was kicked out for trying to attack several of the members. He’s dating a fairy stripper he met at a club named Mercedes.  Her crib gets robbed of all of Larry’s gold and now Larry is trying to find out who did it - only a handful of mascots knew about it. The Easter Bunny and Uncle Sam are suspects. Cupid couldn't have done it, he’s too busy trying to hook up with the CEO of SLE. Santa be on his own shit and Baby New year ain’t got time for that.

EPISODE 1- Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun

Here’s something that will blow your mind…Did you know St. Patrick was actually kidnapped as a teen from Roman Britain and taken to Ireland as a slave. He wasn’t actually Irish but throughout his life until his death on March 17th, 461, he established churches, schools, and monasteries. Through the centuries there have been many legends surrounding St. Patrick. One of the most common is the legends he drove all the snakes out of Ireland and used a shamrock to explain the trinity.

St. Patrick’s day originated as a day of religious services and feasts. This holiday was brought to the United States by immigrants where it is a celebration of all things Irish, including annual parades. Today, St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday that is celebrated by many around the world, not just by the Irish culture. It has turned into an annual tradition for observers to eat, drink, wear green, and party with friends and family. 

In Second Life it is a different story…

We aren’t sure how Leprechauns and the idea of a pot of gold, getting lucky and even Lucky Charms; a children's cereal became a thing on St. Patrick’s Day, but in Second Life at an AA Meeting I came across Larry the Leprechaun and before I can even Introduce myself and start sharing my SL grievances with my peers, he got slapped hard by the Easter Bunny in front of everyone. 

(At an Avatar Anonymous meeting where a commotion erupts between Larry and the Easter Bunny)

Earl The Easter Bunny: *SLAP* Like Sweet Brown said… “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

The Spirit of Joan Rivers: Well shit! Get a hotel room for that.

Lanai: Woahhh What’s going on here?

Earl The Easter Bunny: This clown right here had it coming.  I’m only in this stupid meeting due to a court order but I’m no criminal!

Lanai: Well keep your paws to yourself, that was rude. So Larry,  Can I talk to you? *helps him off the ground after witnessing an attack from a fellow mascot.*

Larry the Leprechaun: *straightening out his jacket and dusts himself off as he stands back up to his feet and looks over* Who are you and how did you know my name?

Lanai: Hi my name is Lanai and I'm a reporter for SLE and “Larry”  is on your name tag?.... Me and everyone else couldn’t help but notice that slap you just received from the Easter Bunny. So why are you arguing with your peers at an AA Meeting?  Aren't you participating in these meetings to improve your self esteem and character as an upstanding Second Life avatar? Aside from that, it’s St. Patrick’s Day! Shouldn’t you be out protecting your pot of gold or something?

Larry the Lep: *looks down at his name tag and cusses ripping it off and tossing it on the ground* A reporter? That is all I need right now, no, I need the police! Someone stole my pot of gold from my girlfriend Mercedes’s house and I need to find it! I know it had to be one of these muppets in there. I will find out who did it! Damn it.

Lanai: Calm down... So when was the last time you saw Mercedes and your pot of gold?

Larry the Lep:* looks like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum as he jumps up and down* 

Calm down?!? Calm Down? That is me gold we are talking about lassy, me GOLD! The gold was at her place in her bedroom closet on Monday, I remember seeing the most beautiful glow coming from underneath the door, it was magnificent. I’m not sure why she isn’t at the meeting…

Bernie: It ain’t my business.

The spirit of Joan Rivers: Who gives a sh*t? F you and you , and him too.

Lanai: Joan… Be nice to your peers this meeting is supposed to empower. 

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Where’s the peppermint creamer?

Spirit of Joan Rivers: Oh Shut up Nick!

 Lanai: There is a lot of pent up energy in this meeting today. We may have to switch to lavender tea… Look Larry, something sounds amiss. Do you know if Mercedes had anyone over in the past couple of days or did you tell anyone else about your stashed loot?

Bernie: Don’t mind me. I’m just chillin…

Spirit of Joan Rivers: F*ck off.

Larry the Lep: Bernie why are you even here?  Anyways…. What! My Mercedes?!?! She wouldn’t have anyone else over, she loves me, oh my lovely lassy, she is one for the pages of my heart I say.. NO she wouldn’t have anyone else over or tell anyone about me gold!

Bernie: Rude.

Lanai: Leave Bernie alone! This meeting is open to anyone going through viral meming and virtual world issues!  Mercedes. Her name sounds familiar….Wait.. Isn’t she that tooth fairy who got busted with glitter dust a year ago? The one that works at “The Burnt Mushroom” Strip Club on the east side? If that’s the one… it sounds like Mercedes was a gold digger and had a serious addiction. Anyways. I remember a conversation with Cupid a few months back. He mentioned she can’t be trusted. I think he was hittin’ that but who am I to gossip…

Larry the Lep: HEY! She was holding that for a friend, she doesn’t do glitter dust….anymore.. But anyway it doesn’t matter where she works, she is just putting herself through college for her Cupcake Decorating degree, she is going to make something of herself! As for Cupid, he only WISHES he could tap that! Mercedes has standards you know.

Lanai: I see.  That's what the unicorn said…. She is still workin the pole.  Fine, maybe we are talking about different fairies… So anyways, Larry… Can I call you that? It’s St. Patrick’s day and I wanted to educate our readers on how you came about being the holiday mascot.

The Unicorn: Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

Larry the Lep: St Patty this St Patty that! F him and F all that. Can’t you see we are in a crisis here lassy! I’m missing me pot of gold! You promise to help me find me pot of gold, I will give your readers the education of our holiday you want. 

Lanai: OK fine stop being hostile geez. I will help you find your pot of gold.  I’m not even sure where to start but Cupid and the Easter Bunny seem suspish. If the rumors are true, Cupid would know what Mercedes’s bedroom looks like...but the way I saw you get dropped by the Easter Bunny, maybe he has your gold. Rumor around the grid is, he is 1,000,000L behind on his child support. You know how rabbits have kids...

Spirit of Joan Rivers: MMhmmm

Earl the Easter Bunny: Umm I’m sitting right here.

Bernie: Rude.

Uncle Sam: *whispers to Santa* This is getting good.

Larry the Lep: Don’t be a gowl, the damn bunny got a lucky shot when I was trying to buckle my boots. As for Cupid, knowing Mercedes' room, he wishes, maybe only the pics that I shared umm I mean the description of how nice the room is, that is the only way he would know. But both of them are sex-crazed they wouldn’t be after me pot, Well yes, maybe the bunny cause he hits them and leaves them with many kids but I am thinking it is the Tooth Fairy, to be honest, he was always a little jealous of Mercedes and me since she dumped him for a real Leppy. 

Earl the Easter Bunny: Don’t catch another slap Larry.

Lanai: *stares at the Easter Bunny*  You have a good point there Larry. The tooth fairy does seem like a shady individual. What grown-ass man named Tammy wears a pink tutu and wings? Sounds like a creep to me.  He couldn't be here today because I heard he’s locked up for unpaid parking tickets.

Larry the Lep: Creepy you are right, I mean this man goes into children’s rooms in the middle of the night to steal TEETH! I mean come on, and how does he pay for those teeth? Maybe with fencing stolen GOLD huh??!?!

Lanai: Let me investigate. *pulls out her black book* We might have a story here.

After multiple attempts to contact Cupid, he could not be reached.

Earl the Easter Bunny:  “Larry is a raging alcoholic who is very forgetful. I bet he spent all his gold at the Blarney Stone Pub. We all know how they like to protect their own no matter who they step on. I was defending myself at the meeting because he was accusing me and everyone else. Maybe you should ask Uncle Sam.”

Uncle Sam: Oh noooo see that sign over there? It says No Drama Zone!  Don’t even include me in this mess I have a whole economy and a pandemic of my own to worry about. I don’t know him, Mercedes, or anyone else this little fool hangs out with so remove me from your suspect list. I come to Avatar Anonymous meetings to help with my public speaking skills. Maybe you should ask Santa, he seems to know who's been naughty or nice.

Santa: Uncle Sam is always trying to throw someone under the sleigh… According to my records, Sam was inciting a riot at The Linden Labs Headquarters on that day and all of the accused have alibis that check out except for one. Cupid was at a chest wax appointment during the hours in question. The Easter Bunny was in court with all his baby mommas and Mercedes was actually giving a lap dance to Orion Baral from your newspaper on that day and they went back to her place.

Lanai: Oh really now? So are you saying maybe SLE is somehow involved? This just got really interesting… Soooo Orion what do you know about the missing gold?

Orion Baral: First off, it wasn’t filmed pictured, or sketch drawn, I didn’t do it. You know me better than this, I wouldn't go to a low strip club. I am very loyal and wouldn’t hurt SLE’s reputation being seen there. As for this Mercedes girl, I met her once at a Business Seminar only, I didn’t go anywhere with her, I said hi and politely complimented she had nice wings, that was all.

Lanai: Hmmm. I do recall you going on a recent shopping spree a couple of days ago… OK Meeting is over!

Well, folks there you have it, we are just reporters, we are not detectives. We ask you the good people of SL to help us find who stole Larry’s pot of gold.  Please leave your comments below and help us find the culprit! We rely on you, the people. 



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