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16 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label holiday mascot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday mascot. Show all posts

Thursday, November 25, 2021

SLE ARCHIVES 2015: Thanksgiving Interview with a Protesting Turkey- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…



Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so it is time for another Holiday Mascot Interview. I truly enjoy meeting these characters in Second Life because something unexpected always happens. Last time I interviewed a Thanksgiving mascots, it ended in an argument between a Pilgrim and Indian. This year I decided I would talk to a Turkey about his perspective, so I went to a breedable farm...



Lanai: Excuse me Mr Turkey, my name is Lanai from The SL Enquirer.  Do you have time for an interview?

Turkey: Ugh that newspaper? pfft. Anyway,  My name is Justin and get away from me! I’m not in a very trusting mood this time of year.

Lanai: Hey now!  Relax, Justin. I’m not here to hunt you for my table. I just want to talk to you about Thanksgiving.

Turkey: What’s to talk about? It is not my favorite holiday, neither is Christmas. You humans need to think about making healthier choices that do not involve us.



Lanai: But Turkey is very healthy. It is a valuable source of protein and is a good source of iron, zinc, potassium, and phosphorus in addition to vitamin B6 and niacin, which are both essential for the body's energy production. Don’t make me get all educational about it, but I understand why you’d disagree with sacrificing yourself for us. I just wanted to get your perspective on this holiday.

Turkey: Well from my perspective, it isn’t all about zinc, potassium, vitamin B6 and blah blah blah all that other stuff. It’s all about being choked, feathers being plucked, and having my neckbone shoved up my ass! Then, to finish me off with a golden brown crisp. Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun does it?  If it were up to me, I would hunt down humans and stick them in the center of a table for my family to gather around and see how you like it, but we are herbivores. Besides that, you humans eat way too much junk food and would not be healthy to eat, even for a pig!

Lanai:That wasn’t very nice Justin.

Turkey: What’s not nice is the annual roundup of my fellow feathered fowls...Lanai

Lanai: I guess you have a point. So what do you suggest we use as our main staple for Thanksgiving ?

Turkey: If I really had a say. I would suggest that nice stocky Amaretto horse over there! Let me make my case for your brutal holiday.  You can make horse bacon, ribs, scrapple, pony sausage, rump roast, horse shoulder, horse rinds, jerky and  stew. Do I need to go on? Don’t get me started on the breedable dragons and meeroos if you can catch one.

By this time all the Breedable animals gathered around to listen in…



Horse: Hold on a second Justin there is such a thing as turkey bacon just saying!  Remember you have to live here with us so be careful what you tell this nosy reporter.

Meerroos: Wait. What?

Justin the Turkey: I will peck both of your eyeballs out. Mind your own business. The way you both populate Second Life, you outta be the ones hunted!

Horse: Don’t make me come over there Justin.


Meeroos: pfft. *scurries off*

Justin the Turkey: Oh yea ponyboy? I got one thing to say! *points at the horses*  Lady,take your pick. Each one is at least 2,400 pounds of meat!

Lanai: Wooooah. Wait a minute.

Horse: *gives Justin the hoof and gallops off into the stable*


Chicken: Keep me and my chicks out of this conversation. This is the one day of the year that we get a break, so CLUCK OFF!

Justin the Turkey: Easy there feathered friend!  What’s one more day? Let’s not mention Football season and all the damn chicken wings these humans consume.

Lanai: OK, this is getting out of hand.  Let me just clear the air before a riot breaks out on this farm. I am just here to talk about Thanksgiving from a Turkey’s perspective.

Unknown animal in the crowd: You picked the wrong farm lady!

Lanai: Is that so? *smirks*

In the meantime, Justin the Turkey and his flock gets into an argument with the Horses and chickens while Lanai quietly backs out of the barn and starts the turkey deep fryer.



It is clear that an interview with a Turkey was not the best idea, especially on a farm where other disgruntled animals live just awaiting for consumption. However you celebrate Thanksgiving  be thankful for the animals who unwillingly sacrificed themselves for you.

Happy Thanksgiving SLE Fans!

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun- Lanai Jarrico Reporting..


BACK STORY:

Mascot series. We met up with Larry, after an Avatar Anonymous meeting. He was kicked out for trying to attack several of the members. He’s dating a fairy stripper he met at a club named Mercedes.  Her crib gets robbed of all of Larry’s gold and now Larry is trying to find out who did it - only a handful of mascots knew about it. The Easter Bunny and Uncle Sam are suspects. Cupid couldn't have done it, he’s too busy trying to hook up with the CEO of SLE. Santa be on his own shit and Baby New year ain’t got time for that.



EPISODE 1- Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun


Here’s something that will blow your mind…Did you know St. Patrick was actually kidnapped as a teen from Roman Britain and taken to Ireland as a slave. He wasn’t actually Irish but throughout his life until his death on March 17th, 461, he established churches, schools, and monasteries. Through the centuries there have been many legends surrounding St. Patrick. One of the most common is the legends he drove all the snakes out of Ireland and used a shamrock to explain the trinity.

St. Patrick’s day originated as a day of religious services and feasts. This holiday was brought to the United States by immigrants where it is a celebration of all things Irish, including annual parades. Today, St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday that is celebrated by many around the world, not just by the Irish culture. It has turned into an annual tradition for observers to eat, drink, wear green, and party with friends and family. 


In Second Life it is a different story…



We aren’t sure how Leprechauns and the idea of a pot of gold, getting lucky and even Lucky Charms; a children's cereal became a thing on St. Patrick’s Day, but in Second Life at an AA Meeting I came across Larry the Leprechaun and before I can even Introduce myself and start sharing my SL grievances with my peers, he got slapped hard by the Easter Bunny in front of everyone. 


(At an Avatar Anonymous meeting where a commotion erupts between Larry and the Easter Bunny)


Earl The Easter Bunny: *SLAP* Like Sweet Brown said… “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”


The Spirit of Joan Rivers: Well shit! Get a hotel room for that.


Lanai: Woahhh What’s going on here?



Earl The Easter Bunny: This clown right here had it coming.  I’m only in this stupid meeting due to a court order but I’m no criminal!



Lanai: Well keep your paws to yourself, that was rude. So Larry,  Can I talk to you? *helps him off the ground after witnessing an attack from a fellow mascot.*



Larry the Leprechaun: *straightening out his jacket and dusts himself off as he stands back up to his feet and looks over* Who are you and how did you know my name?




Lanai: Hi my name is Lanai and I'm a reporter for SLE and “Larry”  is on your name tag?.... Me and everyone else couldn’t help but notice that slap you just received from the Easter Bunny. So why are you arguing with your peers at an AA Meeting?  Aren't you participating in these meetings to improve your self esteem and character as an upstanding Second Life avatar? Aside from that, it’s St. Patrick’s Day! Shouldn’t you be out protecting your pot of gold or something?


Larry the Lep: *looks down at his name tag and cusses ripping it off and tossing it on the ground* A reporter? That is all I need right now, no, I need the police! Someone stole my pot of gold from my girlfriend Mercedes’s house and I need to find it! I know it had to be one of these muppets in there. I will find out who did it! Damn it.


Lanai: Calm down... So when was the last time you saw Mercedes and your pot of gold?



Larry the Lep:* looks like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum as he jumps up and down* 

Calm down?!? Calm Down? That is me gold we are talking about lassy, me GOLD! The gold was at her place in her bedroom closet on Monday, I remember seeing the most beautiful glow coming from underneath the door, it was magnificent. I’m not sure why she isn’t at the meeting…


Bernie: It ain’t my business.


The spirit of Joan Rivers: Who gives a sh*t? F you and you , and him too.


Lanai: Joan… Be nice to your peers this meeting is supposed to empower. 


Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Where’s the peppermint creamer?


Spirit of Joan Rivers: Oh Shut up Nick!


 Lanai: There is a lot of pent up energy in this meeting today. We may have to switch to lavender tea… Look Larry, something sounds amiss. Do you know if Mercedes had anyone over in the past couple of days or did you tell anyone else about your stashed loot?



Bernie: Don’t mind me. I’m just chillin…


Spirit of Joan Rivers: F*ck off.



Larry the Lep: Bernie why are you even here?  Anyways…. What! My Mercedes?!?! She wouldn’t have anyone else over, she loves me, oh my lovely lassy, she is one for the pages of my heart I say.. NO she wouldn’t have anyone else over or tell anyone about me gold!


Bernie: Rude.



Lanai: Leave Bernie alone! This meeting is open to anyone going through viral meming and virtual world issues!  Mercedes. Her name sounds familiar….Wait.. Isn’t she that tooth fairy who got busted with glitter dust a year ago? The one that works at “The Burnt Mushroom” Strip Club on the east side? If that’s the one… it sounds like Mercedes was a gold digger and had a serious addiction. Anyways. I remember a conversation with Cupid a few months back. He mentioned she can’t be trusted. I think he was hittin’ that but who am I to gossip…



Larry the Lep: HEY! She was holding that for a friend, she doesn’t do glitter dust….anymore.. But anyway it doesn’t matter where she works, she is just putting herself through college for her Cupcake Decorating degree, she is going to make something of herself! As for Cupid, he only WISHES he could tap that! Mercedes has standards you know.



Lanai: I see.  That's what the unicorn said…. She is still workin the pole.  Fine, maybe we are talking about different fairies… So anyways, Larry… Can I call you that? It’s St. Patrick’s day and I wanted to educate our readers on how you came about being the holiday mascot.


The Unicorn: Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.


Larry the Lep: St Patty this St Patty that! F him and F all that. Can’t you see we are in a crisis here lassy! I’m missing me pot of gold! You promise to help me find me pot of gold, I will give your readers the education of our holiday you want. 



Lanai: OK fine stop being hostile geez. I will help you find your pot of gold.  I’m not even sure where to start but Cupid and the Easter Bunny seem suspish. If the rumors are true, Cupid would know what Mercedes’s bedroom looks like...but the way I saw you get dropped by the Easter Bunny, maybe he has your gold. Rumor around the grid is, he is 1,000,000L behind on his child support. You know how rabbits have kids...


Spirit of Joan Rivers: MMhmmm


Earl the Easter Bunny: Umm I’m sitting right here.


Bernie: Rude.


Uncle Sam: *whispers to Santa* This is getting good.


Larry the Lep: Don’t be a gowl, the damn bunny got a lucky shot when I was trying to buckle my boots. As for Cupid, knowing Mercedes' room, he wishes, maybe only the pics that I shared umm I mean the description of how nice the room is, that is the only way he would know. But both of them are sex-crazed they wouldn’t be after me pot, Well yes, maybe the bunny cause he hits them and leaves them with many kids but I am thinking it is the Tooth Fairy, to be honest, he was always a little jealous of Mercedes and me since she dumped him for a real Leppy. 


Earl the Easter Bunny: Don’t catch another slap Larry.


Lanai: *stares at the Easter Bunny*  You have a good point there Larry. The tooth fairy does seem like a shady individual. What grown-ass man named Tammy wears a pink tutu and wings? Sounds like a creep to me.  He couldn't be here today because I heard he’s locked up for unpaid parking tickets.



Larry the Lep: Creepy you are right, I mean this man goes into children’s rooms in the middle of the night to steal TEETH! I mean come on, and how does he pay for those teeth? Maybe with fencing stolen GOLD huh??!?!


Lanai: Let me investigate. *pulls out her black book* We might have a story here.


After multiple attempts to contact Cupid, he could not be reached.



Earl the Easter Bunny:  “Larry is a raging alcoholic who is very forgetful. I bet he spent all his gold at the Blarney Stone Pub. We all know how they like to protect their own no matter who they step on. I was defending myself at the meeting because he was accusing me and everyone else. Maybe you should ask Uncle Sam.”



Uncle Sam: Oh noooo see that sign over there? It says No Drama Zone!  Don’t even include me in this mess I have a whole economy and a pandemic of my own to worry about. I don’t know him, Mercedes, or anyone else this little fool hangs out with so remove me from your suspect list. I come to Avatar Anonymous meetings to help with my public speaking skills. Maybe you should ask Santa, he seems to know who's been naughty or nice.



Santa: Uncle Sam is always trying to throw someone under the sleigh… According to my records, Sam was inciting a riot at The Linden Labs Headquarters on that day and all of the accused have alibis that check out except for one. Cupid was at a chest wax appointment during the hours in question. The Easter Bunny was in court with all his baby mommas and Mercedes was actually giving a lap dance to Orion Baral from your newspaper on that day and they went back to her place.


Lanai: Oh really now? So are you saying maybe SLE is somehow involved? This just got really interesting… Soooo Orion what do you know about the missing gold?


Orion Baral: First off, it wasn’t filmed pictured, or sketch drawn, I didn’t do it. You know me better than this, I wouldn't go to a low strip club. I am very loyal and wouldn’t hurt SLE’s reputation being seen there. As for this Mercedes girl, I met her once at a Business Seminar only, I didn’t go anywhere with her, I said hi and politely complimented she had nice wings, that was all.


Lanai: Hmmm. I do recall you going on a recent shopping spree a couple of days ago… OK Meeting is over!


Well, folks there you have it, we are just reporters, we are not detectives. We ask you the good people of SL to help us find who stole Larry’s pot of gold.  Please leave your comments below and help us find the culprit! We rely on you, the people. 



TO BE CONTINUED….


Thursday, February 14, 2019

Interview with Cupid 2018- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


It has been two years since I last scouted for and interviewed Cupid. It seems like a trend that each year the chosen Cupid abandons his posts as the mascot for Valentine’s Day. I get that they only have the job for a short time but perhaps they find true love of their own or they turn to getting swept away by the countless club scenes in Second Life never to be seen again.
This year was a bit different when I went out in search of the perfect Cupid 2018. I needed to find a well rounded, intelligent man to fill some speedos and wear a bow and arrow like a Greek God.
While out and about assisting a friend with a mesh upgrade, I was politely greeted by a shopper nearby. He complimented me.  At first I wasn’t really paying much attention to anyone around me but I decided to zoom my cam on this stranger saying hello.  It was a jaw dropping experience to say the least. My first thought was this was the Cupid I have spent my Second Life searching for.
He was handsome and well put together. His eyes were piercing grayish blue and he had a swag about him that was unignorable. We exchanged calling cards and went about our business.


A week past with no word. I saw his name light up on my friends list and thought I'd reach out and ask him if he knew where i could find a Unicorn. I thought it might be a nice ice breaker or maybe I was just embarrassing myself, but nonetheless he responded with, “Hi beautiful, I have been waiting to hear from you and judging  from the ridiculous reason for messaging me, I’m thinking you have been thinking about me also. But if you want to look for a Unicorn I’m game.” and that's how the beautiful friendship began.




Interview with Cupid 2018


Lanai: Vito, you know I wasn't really looking for a Unicorn when we met, I just didn’t know what to say. You made me a bit nervous unlike all the tools I come across on a daily. I have to thank you for agreeing to be this year’s Cupid. You fit the description of a Greek God very well.  SLE Fans missed out on one last year.


Cupid: I take it as a compliment and I’m honored to be this years cupid if it means spending even this little time with you.


Lanai: You are such a sweetheart and I am enjoying this time I get with you. So let's jump right into your position as Cupid. I love that you tell it like it is. There has been a lot of drama and BS happening across the grid. I think SLE fans need to hear what you have to say about all that mess and how you intend to improve relationships for Valentine’s Day.

Cupid: Damn, when I heard you say let’s jump right into a position I had to adjust my arrow. But then I realized you were asking a serious question. I shoot my damn arrows and sometimes they stick and sometimes they don’t, but if i can give advice… men: learn how to talk to a woman, actually listen sometimes and for f**ks sake stop saying “want to make sex”. And women: look at your damn avi. If you look like plastic surgery gone wrong and everything is hanging out then your going to get what you get; a tool. Now Lanai, what position would you like to do next?


Lanai: OHH ummm well...so going back to that sound advice. I have to agree with you for both men and women. It just seems like people have no motivation anymore to keep up with their appearance or even their socializing skills. Now, what was that about positions? *fans self* NVM let’s not get off track here. I think it is very important for SL residents to know the do’s and don’ts of relationships. One or one hundred arrows to the ass might not help them if they don’t have the skills to make their situation work. Am I right?




Cupid: Men and women on here need to stop sending representatives, meaning be yourself, tell the truth, I find a lot of men on here will say whatever they think the woman would want to hear as long as they get to be with that woman. Problem is they will always show their true colors and those women will go running into another man’s arms… same goes for the women, if that guy seems too good to be true then guess what he might just be.


Lanai: So what you are saying in a nutshell is trust is something that needs to be earned to avoid these types of problems or does it mean both men and women need to always be on alert? How can people really tell when they have found that perfect person?


Cupid: Trusting people in SL can be as hard as finding a unicorn. But it’s not all doom and gloom, love is out there and it might take getting burned many times to find that person but when you do you will have no doubts. You will feel their love, and their energy, and you will trust them in ways you never thought possible.




Lanai: that is beautiful advice Cupid. In reality it doesn’t take an arrow or even Valentine’s day to validate what your significant other means to you or when you should celebrate love. It is about knowing oneself and sharing it with the person you care about. Not because it is what everyone else expects. It should be unconditional and natural.


Cupid: You have it figured out Lanai, it is impossible to love and trust if you don’t love yourself first. I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw you, now after spending 5 months with you, I think we’ve both been hit with an arrow. In fact, the only way I am signing off on this interview is if your next article is titled “My Life with Cupid”.

Lanai: Would this be a good time to tell you I’m pregnant?




Cupid: o.O



HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY SLE FANS!






**Special thanks to Vitochicone xoxox

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Interview with The Easter Bunny -Lanai Jarrico Reporting…


Spring is finally here as the weather starts to warm up and colorful flowers are blooming.  It is the season for renewal and celebrating Easter and spring break!  In Second Life residents are preparing for the change in seasons by picking up the snow and rezzing, fresh grass, flowers and greenery.  To celebrate spring, many shops are having sales, venues are doing hunts and more people are hanging out and hooking up.  Spring seems to have that effect.

During Easter break, SLE set out in search for the Easter Bunny to find out what his plans are.  He’s not an easy mascot to catch up with but a few tricks up the CEO’s sleeve helped lure him in for an interview. She just didn’t plan on such a dramatic display.



Lanai: Hey You! I have been trying to track you down for days now. Sorry about the intrusion but I figure this place would attract you. Got some time to talk?

The Easter Bunny: If it isn’t Ms. Jarrico…. WTF! *tries to cover up his carrot* I thought this was a private spa!

Lanai:  Language! Before you get upset, let me explain… I have been all over the grid asking for you and no one seems to know where you’ve been.  A Leprechaun named Larry, who was on his way to the Bahamas for Spring break, told me you were into facials, massages and happy endings, whatever that means…. so I figured if I visit some spas I might find you and sure enough you were here!

The Easter Bunny: So this was a trap? Was that all he said to you? *suspicious tone*

Lanai: Pretty much.  However, he did tell me you weren’t a very good tipper after private sessions. *looks at him suspicious*


The Easter Bunny: Oh never mind him… He’s loaded with his pot of gold so he shouldn’t complain about that.

Lanai: If you say so. Now you have me curious. What exactly is a happy ending? That leprechaun seemed a bit jilted when he mentioned it.

The Easter Bunny:  Well… Um. Wait a minute… Is this some kind of interrogation? I’ll just say happy endings are legal on most adult sims in SL so I’m in no violation nor obligated to share that information with you!

Lanai: Geez! Calm down, you act like I just caught you in some kind of controversy!

The Easter Bunny: All I wanted was to relax… Now if you don’t mind…scram.

Lanai: Hey now relax and pull the carrot out you’re a$$.  I just wanted to ask what your plans were for Easter break and surprise you with your friend.



Larry the Leprechaun: Hey handsome. Remember me?

The Easter Bunny: You have got to be kidding me!!! What’s HE doing here? Ya know, if this wasn’t a “free” spa I’d want my money back!

Larry the Leprechaun: Don’t act surprised to see me after all we have been through.

The Easter Bunny: Lanai! You set me up! I am writing a letter to Santa and you are going to be sorry for this!


Lanai:  Wait what? Larry, told me you would be delighted to see him…

The Easter Bunny:  Like hell I am! Get him out of here. I have reason to believe he gave me a “Chicago Sunroof” and ruined all the Easter baskets I had worked so hard on. I couldn’t make any deliveries for Easter. Larry ruined it for everyone!


Lanai: a what?
Larry the Leprechaun: *innocent grin*

The Easter Bunny: look it up on urbandictionary.com



Lanai: *looks it up* OH FFS! That’s disgusting!

Larry the Leprechaun: I’m sorry, I was mad. You are lucky you didn’t get an “Alabama Hayride” I’m tired of you keeping us a secret. I thought I was your lucky charm but you know what!?! You can kiss my blarney stone and the next time you want a happy ending you better ask someone else. I’m done with you! You don’t even make a good Easter Bunny, you look like the Trix Cereal Mascot on crack. You silly rabbit!

Lanai: *looks that up*  wow….

Larry the Leprechaun: That’s right I said it!

The Easter Bunny:.*burst out in tears feeling all defeated*

Lanai: Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a bad lifetime movie?

Larry the leprechaun: Ms Jarrico. He and I have been dating for some time now and never once has he showed this much emotion. So thank you, I’ll take him home now.



Lanai: For a happy ending?

Larry the Leprechaun: That and an “Easter Cream Egg”

Lanai: *looks that up*  OMG you are sick! This interview is over!

Happy Spring SLE Fans!

References
Chicago Sunroof
Alabama Hayride
Easter Cream Egg


 
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