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Showing posts with label Johnnie Ireland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Johnnie Ireland. Show all posts

Monday, December 3, 2012

Reporting Live On The Scene at EGOISME General Hospital- Marriellaanna Resident Reporting...


It had been a quiet night, there was nothing happening, no celebrities being smuggled in through the Hospitals backdoors for rehab, coated head bent low in shame and fear of discovery.  Not so much as a scrape or bump from the general population of SL city. Just another night,  like so many before.

THEN, it came, the sudden shrill of a banshee wail which shredded the peace and composure around me as the vibrant flash of approaching sirens screamed into the stillness,  the vibrant flash of lights illuminating the sky as if I was in the midst of an alien invasion and alerting the world to a crisis of global proportion.

 The cries of ‘Medic’ hit the air with a frantic urgency amongst the ensuing onslaught of paramedics, Drs and nurses which suddenly appeared,  throwing open the doors of the Egoisme General Hospital. Their faces were taut with fear and anticipation. It was clear, something desperate was happening as the hordes of medics around me suddenly swung into well-rehearsed and orchestrated practice. Moving like one, each a tiny cog In a machine that instantly functioned as a well oiled mechanism.

 The doors to the Egoisme General Hospital flew wide open, the gurney was pulled through in preparation, In the confusion, I struggled to see the face of the woman that lay prone on the hard and shiny plastic surface, screaming with agony, her face contorted, twisted into unrecognisable features, pulled from the ambulance with accelerated speed. Through the blur of movement all around me, I heard the words shouted ‘Lanai Jarrico’ female...and then a pause for the fateful diagnosis - the fateful diagnosis ‘Twinkie overdose’ A doctor carefully lubricated a latex gloved hand, snapping the cuff with a sharp snap, his eyes awash with terror.. “I’m going in..We need to act now or we’ll lose her. Lube me up.”

Friday, November 30, 2012

I GOT KIDNEY STONES? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! JOIN SLE AND EGOISME AT A PRE OP Party for Lanai Jarrico Friday November 30, 2012 4:00 pm SLT

Join The SL Enquirer and EGOISME for a Pre -Op party for Lanai Jarrico.

 DJ "Dr. Johnnie" Ireland will administer tunes that are sure to cure ailing avies with the assistence of "Nurse Marriellaanna" Resident.

Arrive in your sexiest nurse/ doctor outfit, scrubs or a hospital gowns.

One lucky winner will recieve a free prostate or breast exam, followed by a check up and overnight stay with all the jello they want.

When: Friday, November 30, 2012
Time: 4:00 pm SLT

"I got kidney stones? Ain't nobody got time for that!” stated Lanai Jarrico in an exclusive interview with Dr. Potterjones.

   According to sources close to the media princess, she has been carrying around a gold mine of nuggets and was recently hit with a double whammy when she was told by her doctor that both kidneys had a stash, and she needed surgery. This was not the kind of stoned Lanai wanted to be as she returned home with her bag of medication, painkillers and an appointment for December 4th.