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Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Thursday, May 26, 2022

GeekSpeak subject for Saturday 28th May at noon SLT: How do we fight misinformation?

 


Misinformation is the problem of our era.  All the time people post untruths for political, ideological, or financial reasons, or just for fun.  Millions of people believe things that are not true.  The situation will get worse as technology improves and deepfakes become common. 

The worst examples of false information come from North Korea and Russia but there are plenty from the West as well.  How can we trust anything?

How do we fight it?  Could AI help, perhaps by checking everything posted?  But why would we trust AI?  Or the people who program AI? Are there other solutions?

Will there ever be a time when people can rely on information?  Was there ever such a time?

Come to GeekSpeak on Saturday at noon SLT to ask if we are lost.  Bring your factsheets and your friends!

IM Vulcan, who teaches a meditation class every Wednesday in the GeekSpeak auditorium, if you have ideas for new subjects.

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

CYBERSEX 101 (PART 2) – A NOOB GUIDE TO “LOVE ON THE GRID”- JOSH (THOMAS1 BELLIC) REPORTING

 


What follows are the results of extensive research, where we surveyed dozens of Subject Matter Experts on the topic.  We have distilled the collected wisdom from 33 of those experts. Altogether, these individuals have amassed over four CENTURIES of residency in SecondLife, totaling 435 years of experience! Let me encourage you to read and heed their guidance and suggestions as you navigate your own way through the pleasure and pitfalls of “love on the grid”

In Part 1 of our series, our panel of experts identified some of the more cringe-worthy mistakes that noobs make during cybersex.  You can read Part One by going to:

http://www.slenquirer.com/2022/01/cybersex-101-noob-guide-to-love-on-grid.html

Here in Part 2, we will look at what our seasoned experts believe makes for a particularly good Cyber sexual encounter,

Finally, in Part 3, we will wrap up with an open question to allow our seasoned experts to expand  on anything else they wanted to share about the topic

Last month I asked our panel of experts “What makes for a particularly good Cybersex experience for you?”

One of the first answers I got was particularly telling when the respondent wrote “is there such a thing as a “good experience” with a newbie?

For the purposes of this article, I decided to separate the advice given by our panel of experts into three phases of cybersex.  Generally, these would be BEFORE – what  to do prior to entering the bedroom;  DURING the actual act of Cyber Coitus, and finally, AFTER you have “done the deed”



BEFORE:

As with anything worth doing, laying the groundwork, so to speak, is important in any endeavor, but especially so in an activity as intimate as Cybersex

Go Mesh or Go Home

A recurring theme here was that your avi is important.  SL is largely a visual medium, and the visuals, though not the ONLY factor in great Cyber, does have an impact.  Comments included:

·        “Have a well put together avatar.  Don't just buy the avatar, open the box, and rush out to play.  Put some effort into being unique.  Most people who draw your attention put a lot of effort into their appearance and want the same in return. “

·        “Of course, the guy must always take care of how he looks.  If the woman is always making sure she is looking her hottest or most beautiful, then the guy needs to do that as well. I like the avi of the other person to be nice and pleasant as a person”

Foreplay – Another crucial element is what you do in the time leading up to the actual sex itself. Panelists were most insistent on the importance of this element:

·        “I love foreplay, the kissing and exploring with hands and fingers. When it comes time to talking dirty, I love  to have my partner use compelling language and be as detailed and descriptive as possible so that I can be totally immersed in the fantasy”

·        “The chase/foreplay is hot.  Don't sell it short.  Spend some time with the erotic foreplay to get your partner engaged.  Don't just jump right to the sex, as then we are back to what I said about making an alt and just playing with yourself!”

·        “For me personally I like for it to look like an actual date.  I’m not a fan of all these sex sims where people just go for casual sex. I like to go out somewhere nice. It's great to talk to the person and establish a rapport. Then when it's time for sex the furniture has good animations and isn't outdated. I already mentioned the emoting but with that you don't want to overdo it either and try to type a book with every post there's plenty of middle ground.”

·        For me, a connection makes it sexy, so I like anticipation.  Talking to someone a few times, getting to know them, looking forward to their IMs.  Then, when we finally DO get to the sex, I am ready to tear their clothing off.  That anticipation makes is so much more erotic. 


Communicate  

“What we’ve got heah, is a failyeah, to communicate!”  Just like the Iconic line from Cool Hand Luke, how you communicate with your partner is crucial to having a successful and memorable engagement. 

Our panel of experts all had something to say about the importance of communication.

·        Open and honest communication about what you like and don't like, just like real life. Respect your partner and don't think that just because they are pixels, they can't be hurt - just like you.

·        A good experience for me is when I find myself in an interesting conversation  that leads into an emotional interaction that was completely unexpected

·        etting to know someone…see if there is a connection with the other person before jumping into bed makes for a great time. Get to know that person see what they like and don’t like. I have found if I am with someone I did not take the time to get to know first it can lead to a disappointing experience. No one wants that especially me...When you find someone that you can relate to will want more and will be happier because of it..

·        I'm like any other woman. Being romanced and paid attention to, are high on my list.  in SL, it’s all about the chase.  but its where the chase ends, and you are with your guy on steady terms, that is when things could either blossom or die.

 



DURING

OK…You have scoped out the terrain, made the approach, and now it is time to close the deal.  Even when it seems to be going well…you can still blow it and end up alone (and frustrated) if you don’t follow a few basic rules.  The Panelists shared these gems from their personal, and considerable, experience.

One person said:

·        If you get a chance, learn the furniture you are on so you know what poses and animations do what, so there is not a lot of flipping around. * If you don't know the furniture, then make a joke out of it.  Laugh, have fun.  Just like in rl sex, being comfortable makes it so much more erotic. 

Respond to your Partner

·        I like being with someone who is responsive, eloquent, and fun, able to interact fast, keeping some rhythm as opposed to someone just changing poses at their convenience, hardly able/willing to talk. I've left a few there on the spot, logging off, because of that more than once, feeling like an inflatable doll :-P

·        I like someone who responds to what I say and do. If I say "This feels so good." a response, even a simple "ty" or "yes it does" is preferable to no response at all

·        I like the interaction, knowing the other person is there with you on the moment. not multi-tasking and just responding with moans

·        It is pretty much the same like making love in RL - don't be boring!

Communication

The need to communicate effectively is as important now as it is in other phases of the experience.  Some of the more cogent comments from our panelists include:


·        Communication is key during Cybersex. One of the biggest mistakes noobies make, (and some experienced guys also), is to ignore my emotes. If I'm panting and moaning and telling you not to stop "F--king me", that is not the time to click the menu and put me in the cuddle menu. Another one is when I'm screaming, "OMG, right there, that feels amazing, yeeess yesss right there!" Don’t change the pose. it’s a turn off to  think that the only reason the guy is having sex with me is so he can watch himself perform in every gymnastic position he can find to put me in.

·        Put some detail into your emoting.  I can SEE what we are doing, but your words are what can make me FEEL it.  Think of what you would be doing to me in RL, and tell me.  The detail makes it hot.

·        Creative Emoting.  Something more than nonsense sounds like "mmmmm" or "Oh my god oh my god oh my god"    Use adjectives.   Short sentences... It's more important to keep the pace going than it is to write a four-paragraph porn novel.  Be respectful.  Let the other person finish and then craft your reply to make sense in the context of that the other person just wrote. Try to become codependent in the emoting and not go off on your own tangent. Compliment the partner often during and after sex

 


Multisensory

Great Cybersex takes more than just some cool animations on a pose ball.  More than just sexy emotes.  More than just a sexy voice.  Really GREAT Cybersex take appealing to several sources of stimulation.  Here again, our panelists were quick to share their experiences.   

·        I love the visual as well as hearing her voice change in my ears. being able to move to a pose I would in RL.

·        I mean, it's not like you are sitting on a couch and feeling each other…you have to be able to talk about it and share your feelings. And don't assume she (or he!) wants to know what you are doing in RL during all this. and that’s another point. If you get to know someone pretty well, sex is more natural and even if you make mistakes, they won't just run off :)

·        Whatever you do, don't stop in the middle for question-and-answer time

·        So guys, let me give you some friendly advice: first, don't rely on the “Device” (Xcite, etc) scripts to do the talking for you, and second, stop thinking about cybersex as porn. Start thinking about it as creative writing instead. Show off some language skills and some imagination to the ladies, and you'll find them more than willing ;-)

·        I never felt the urge to use the pose balls. I rely more on actual words.  When poses don’t work, they tend to throw off one if not both parties making it hard to get to where you need to be in your head.

·        I have experienced some of the most intense times with someone, even when there are minimal animations involved. It’s the erotic images and thoughts that turn me on, not throwing me into a different pose every two seconds until you learn the menu.

AFTER:

So then, you have taken your time, you have demonstrated a caring attitude, you connected with your partner on a deeper level, you both reached a “Happy Ending”.  Now what?

Our panel of experts was pretty much of one mind on this point.  Hang out for a bit.  The suggestions included:

·        “Stay for at least ten minutes.  Women don't like cum and go guys.  If they poof after two minutes.....ooooh what a lover”

·        “Some chat before and after...... treat me with respect”


So there you have it, Folks.  Incorporating some or all of these ideas will help make you a better Cyber lover, And Hey,  If you’re gonna do something, why not do it right and be the best you can at it?

Stay tuned in a couple of weeks when our 33-member panel of sexperts wraps up our 3-part series with some of their favorite personal anecdotes about the subject.

Be There

Aloha

JB

Thursday, October 14, 2021

GeekSpeak subject for Saturday 16th October at noon SLT: The Evolution of Communication!


 In the past we smiled at each other.  Then we invented the smiley (2 bytes).  That became the emoji (30 bytes).  Now people send many complicated emojis and they get bigger all the time.  Soon many kilobytes of information will be sent as emojis.

What will we send in the future?  If the data limit of our eyes is reached will we communicate directly via neuralink to our visual cortex?  Will we send each other pictures and videos?  Will we be able to send emotions directly?

If we can communicate with emotions and pictures will there still be a need for words?  Will we lose the ability to use words? 

Come and discuss the future of communication while you still can at 30 bytes per minute.  Bring your 2 thumbs, and your friends!

IM Vulcan Viper, who teaches a meditation class every Wednesday at 1pm in the GeekSpeak auditorium, if you have ideas for new subjects.

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

SPOTLIGHT ON WIPLY- A Social Network for Avatars- Lanai Jarrico reporting…




 Social media is a must-have for smartphone users and computer geeks with an appetite for socializing on a global scale with family, friends, and friends of friends. Others rely heavily on social media for increasing business exposure.  Without social media, many businesses and social lives would be reduced to phone calls, party lines, snail mail, old school chat rooms, emails, texts, and virtual worlds, especially during a pandemic. There isn’t a social network geared towards avatars in a virtual world.  Unfortunately, many accounts were suspended from Facebook that had Avatar profiles. The good news is Wiply is a social media network created just for avatars! 


Create by Ramses Meredith, It is an all-in-one platform with numerous options, like an Instant Chat system (with the possibility to create your channels), a messaging system, and a high-resolution photo album. Facebook does not allow high-resolution photos, and Flickr needs a paid account to add SLURL or URL to the photo. All these options are linked to the page/group/events, so everything is merged to create one unique and comfortable place where you can work and increase or create your Second Life business.


Interview with Ramses Meredith


SLE: Hi Ramses, it is a great honor to sit down with you for an Interview. You’ve been busy in Second Life since 2008 from creating clothing with Egoisme and then and Exchinima avatar shapes to getting into the techy stuff. Can you tell me how you discovered Second Life and a little bit about your background and what you’ve done in Second Life?


Ramses: Hello and thank you for hosting me today. I have been interested in Second Life since somebody at University told me about a virtual world created (back in 2004). 


I was interested, but my focus was on artificial intelligence, so I have not cared a lot. Later I went back to focus on Second Life since was remarkably interesting for me, my focus was on building and a design studio. 


So, I have begun to create outfits and tattoos at the early beginning, just to create something for me, but people were keeping asking me to sell to them, so I have turned in a little store. Then I wanted to create skins and clothes and so I have expanded the business, meanwhile, I was doing research to improve marketing strategies to apply on Real Life. 


I used Second Life as an incubator to create a fast way solution to apply for long-term plans in RL. 


And then I have begun to create a social network, my old project which was called at the time (we talk around 1998) Community Plaza. And now this is going to become a place for virtual word players and not only.


SLE: A lot of avatars with Facebook accounts were disabled due to fake identities and names being that platform’s issue. I’m glad to see a new social media network just for avatars. Can you tell our readers about the various features they can expect with Wiply?


Ramses: Well on Wiply I added many “modules” which are usually needed by virtual players like Second Life avatars: 


  • Contest module, where finally you can have a fair contest, no doubts about the source of votes: single votes by users or by a jury, both with rules. 

  • Crowdfunding module, since Second Life users have a strong sense of willingness to help those less fortunate than themselves.

  • Business directory: now they can create an own “business page” where to link album photos, video channel, offers page, even a discount ticket option;

  • Jobs module: now you can post the offers and research of jobs on the same platform where you do other things;

  • Courses: How many times we have thought to find a course for fashion design or 3d modeling or fashion modeling, but each time we need to browse the search in world like no tomorrow! Now you can find it easily.

  • News: we have a system to include news from the most important websites, related to second life for example, and trustable since the source will be monitored, so no fake news is accepted.

  • Mobile apps: you can be sure to receive the news with push notices directly on your smartphone, or even on your pc, way better than wait for inworld notices only.


And less or more these are some of the news we have, but most important is I have created an all-in-one place where you can have all you need with few clicks.


SLE: Privacy and security or important to many avatars in Second Life, that is why many do not share their real names, How can you ensure the information they share on Wiply is secure. Is there monitoring in place to ensure avatars are not being trolled or harassed by other members and their information can be kept private?


Ramses: we have strong security, and privacy is one of our main goals. There is a verification system, in case of doubts, we will require to validate their account sending us, in complete privacy, their documents to verify. 


Plus, once we have enough members, I will let people choose their representative to monitor and help to find out who acts like a troll or who harasses.


Of course, at Wiply works the principle of “is innocent until proven guilty” and only in heavy situations, we will collaborate with authorities, until that, I will spank personally the guilty hehe.


BUT everything will be done with big care about privacy and will not tolerate any break of that main rule.


SLE: There are two main ways to use social media, for business, or personal profiles. Can you explain how Wipley will benefit each group?


Ramses: Of course, I am extremely glad to explain: the user can create its avatar, “VIPs” can create their page, and also can create the own page for the business, as a separate entity, but both under his/her control. 


So for example, you have a business called XYZ, and you are also an influencer, you can have separate pages/groups for each situation, and only you, if you want, can know about it.


It is important because it helps to keep your privacy safe if you do not want to be involved directly in a business page, and on the other side, it allows you to bring also your team in the group/page and showcase them, as given them roles to be used to manage the group or the posts or the images/video submissions, as an example.


SLE: Can you upload videos and photos to Wiply? If so, how much space can a member use? 


Ramses: You can upload videos and photos and do live videos too, without restrictions. We trust to find sponsors and sell advertising to keep this social network active. At moment, our main Sponsor, and have to say with a bit of pride, is the first to have to trust us, is Amazon AWS, the informatics department of amazon, well known for its strong infrastructure, which was used also to host Second Life, and with their program, they have given us some prizes for the Wiply project, so we can count on strong servers with SSD hard disk, faster response, and big data space.


SLE: Every platform has a term of service t protect both the platform and the user. What is your TOS? (Do you have a link to it?)


Ramses: Of course, we have our TOS, which is created by Real Life lawyers to make it easy for everybody to understand it. Our TOS follows the main guidelines of every State, with some special remarks for the EU, California, UK, and so on. We also care about intellectual privacy, and we have also a strong Privacy statement. 


You can find them at https://wiply.net/help/terms and https://wiply.net/help/privacy


Opposite than other social networks, we have integrated 2 options:


One is about adult content visibility; it is a switch on the top menu bar to allow you to hide those contents that can hurt your sensibility or are prohibited for those under 18.

 

The other is a fingerprint icon, if you click it, the social go in safety mode, and nobody can use it or see what you are doing.


SLE: Feedback is so important in business and created a platform avatars want to be part of. Do you take suggestions for improving the platform? If so what new features have you implemented?


Ramses: For us it is vital, at this stage, to know the feedbacks from our users, so we have integrated two side options: one is to leave feedbacks directly from the website or write us.


Also, for Second Life Residents, it is possible to contact me directly inworld. We are a human-size social for now, so will be easy to talk freely about issues or suggestions because I am even open to them.


For me, knowing which errors are, to fix or how I can improve the social is particularly important, because all of them will help me to make a better place for the users. And it is my goal.


SLE: I wish the all the best with Wiply. Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?


Ramses: Join and be part of our family you will not regret it! It is not a common social, plus we have an option you can share your posts directly with other socials, so you can use Wiply as a base for your adventures! Just a tip for events and store owners: we have mobile apps; we can send more information to users via push notices and via newsletter. All this with respect for user privacy, so if I were you, I would give it a try!

Additional Information

URL: https://wiply.net 

Group: secondlife:///app/group/b88be1b1-fef3-8015-0d34-a3b8e4147356/about

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wiply.net 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/WiplySocial 

Preferred Contact: Ramses Meredith inworld






Friday, November 20, 2020

GeekSpeak – How did language really start? Join the discussion Sat. Nov 21st at 12pm SLT



What was the origin of our language system?  Did it start with humans or did some animals have a language before us?  Do some animals have a language, or a proto language, now?  Maybe our language started as a sign language, maybe spoken words came later.

Did we once have just one language on Earth?  What made languages grow apart?  Are there some universal words, like ‘ouch’ perhaps, that exist in all languages?

What is the future of language?  Will we eventually have one language over all the Earth, just as we once did when our species began?  Will that language be a spoken, or written, or sign language? Will we forever keep changing our ways to communicate?

Help us to find the answers in GeekSpeak.  Bring all your international and animal friends!

IM Vulcan Viper, who teaches a meditation class every Wednesday at 1pm SLT in the GeekSpeak auditorium, if you have ideas for new subjects.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

WBH: Relationship Empowerment in SL and Beyond- Join the discussion February 12th at 12pm SLT



Relationships in Second Life can be confusing and painful...or they can bring new joy and meaning into our lives.  

Positive relationships are one of the major contributors to everyone's well-being. That's why Whole Brain Health is beginning a series of conversations about relationships in Second Life and beyond, facilitated by Pet Karu.  These discussions came about through the efforts of real life coaches Jami and Marla Keller (of Invite Inc, a 501c3), with the assistance of Muza Waco.

Communication is trickier than ever these days, especially in SL, so it pays to have clarity about what you want and who you are in each situation you encounter. Join us to find out how you can empower yourself to have more satisfying relationships... with just a little practice. 

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Inspiration%20Island/230/156/701



Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Trouble Communicating in SL – Instand Messages [IMs] A Complicated Process- Seersha Heart Reporting...





I have never put as much thought into an introduction paragraph as I have with this subject.  As research indicates, the receiver of written electronic communication understands emotion conveyed by another person slightly under 60% of the time.  There is one attribute we all share in Second Life.  We all must use written communication to express feelings, observations, thoughts and ideas.  For some, written is the only form of communication used in Second Life.  Other residents combine one of the many voice application with the written text.  Still others combine writing, audio and visual to communicate in world.  That seems like a lot of variations.  Wait there is more to consider, who communicates to a friend who does not understand English very well?  Lastly, studies indicate that sarcasm is the least understood of the written feelings communicated between people electronically.  Our own government [USA] has spent time and research on sarcasm in electronic communication within ongoing studies by the NIH.

The who/what/when/why of electronic communication is ever changing for we as end users.  Different rules for communicating apply in different settings.  There is no single rule book titled “Texting, Emailing and Emoting for Dummies”.  Believe me, I have checked for such a book.  The web is a Hydra of electronic communication advice; select and read one and three more appear.  The good news is that I believe Second Life residents are generally well versed in communicating.  In this article I will cover what I found to be the most helpful advice.


I don’t believe there is a single person who doesn’t know that writing in ALL CAPITAL letters is considered shouting in text.  There are several other considerations when composing your texts.  Words matter to the recipient.  The word you select to open and to close a text as well as the specific words you use should be considered in your communication.  The length of a response you write may convey meaning to your recipient.  Psychologytoday writes that one of the most important items to consider is that the person you are “speaking” to may be in a very different mood than you are when you write them.  This effects how they understand your intentions and your meanings.  Studies have learned that when someone receives an ambiguous or open-ended text, they are most likely to consider the meaning as negative or indifferent.  Ironically the study also found that negative emotions are the most frequently misunderstood communications within individuals electronically.

This is excellent advice, consider the receiver before firing off that IM.  If you want to be understood consider a few factors that affect the receiver.  How long have you known this person?  Research indicates that the less you know a person, the more formal your replies should be to them.  Communicating using IMs is how you manage some very important relationships.  What might you say to this person if you were speaking to them in the same room?  Read your IM before sending it.  How may it be interpreted?  When in doubt, you may always ask a friend for help.  In Second Life that is frequently not possible so doing your best is fine.  Depending on your relationship with a person, know when to go “voice” or “video” with them.

Now you are thinking about your receiver and how they may or may not interpret your words.  When we communicate with someone in person we have the benefit of expressing ourselves with touch, facial expressions, sounds and body language.  Psychologytoday reports that words set less than10% of the emotional tone of our interaction.  That means with our IMs over 90% of the communication tools we have may not be used.  Everyone in Second Life knows that with that less than 10%, there are frequently misunderstandings.  That is perhaps the understatement of the year. [laughs] Let’s look at an example from Psychologytoday from a couple’s interaction.

He: Luv u, 2 2

The challenge of this short IM is that he doesn’t know exactly how the woman he sends this too is currently feeling.  With the brevity here, she may interpret this as he is too lazy to write more, he is too busy for her, or perhaps she will merely feel indifferent.  Here is one suggested response:

He: I was just listening to one of your favorite songs.  I was thinking of you.  I wanted to tell you I love you.  I am happy we are together.  I can’t wait to see you tonight.

The actual response in Psychologytoday is laughable.  [Think the Pina Colada song meets an unpublished romance novel left in a mud puddle].  It is two paragraphs long.  In Second Life SIZE MATTERS with communication.  Here what is the suggested style that instead of short “couples speak”, writing a thoughtful line or two will go a long way toward sending the message you want the recipient to receive from you.  Using their guidelines, I crafted a response using their points of connection.  The important points gleaned from this article is that you may convey body language [sitting on sand], facial expression [smiling], voice [singing] and touching [toes in the sand] using words.  Frequently we are just plain lazy.  We pay dearly at times for that laziness.  Sit for a moment and consider any one of the misunderstandings you have experienced in Second Life.  If you had added a few more words and considered how the other person felt, would things have gone differently for you.  In almost every case the answer is yes for me.  Though we all know that sometimes we try our best and ‘people be crazy’.


Techwalla.com had some very good suggestions for IMs.  Abbreviations may seem curt or disinterested to some people.  A slightly longer response may make your IM easier to understand.  What punctuation have you used in this particular IM?  Some people fine ending a statement with a period (.) to be unfriendly whereas ending with a semi-colon or no punctuation may lead some to believe it is open-ended.  It was at this point of my research I felt almost unable to IM anyone I knew in Second Life.  So many things to consider before hitting that enter key.  When we respond to an IM we frequently whisper or hear our response in our head.  That response is perfect in emotion tone and delivery.  We need to remember that is not sent along with the words.

Stated the obvious that we frequently forget, Fastcodesi HYPERLINK "https://www.fastcodesign.com/3036748/why-its-so-hard-to-detect-emotion-in-emails-and-texts"gn.com adds some helpful ideas.  “Without the benefit of vocal inflections or physical gestures, it can be tough to tell e-sarcastic from e-serious, or e-cold from e-formal, or e-busy from e-angry. Emoticons and exclamation points only do so much.  (short answer: we’re selfish) and what we can do about it (short answer: make some face or phone time).  A big problem people have when conveying digital emotions is often that they fail to appreciate there’s a problem at all.”  Incredible, I wondered, I am selfish and inconsiderate that is why I have misunderstandings.  Ouch, let’s dial it back just a bit for context.  It’s is all the recipient’s fault!  No that isn’t the answer either.  As with most things in life, time and experience will help us develop our talent or lack of talent.



One situation that how we word our IMs may be very critical between a “great” time and a “should have watched TV” time we spend with another person; romance.  Emoting is considered by some residents to be a great skill, while other residents can’t be bothered to use it.  Emoting is conveying your feelings, actions, observations by using the /me before writing an IM to another person.  When doing chat at a RP SIM, there are rules for how, when and what format written communication must follow such as “turn-based paragraph-roleplay”.  When you are with your special someone, there are no rules.  I would recommend asking the individual how they prefer to communicate.  Do they prefer short responses or longer responses?  Do they enjoy a rapid reply or proceed more slowly?  Truth is, I don’t do this most of the time and most other residents don’t either.  We don’t do the obvious thing because we are embarrassed or uncomfortable asking our date.

Considering the research, the reading and all the ways IMs may go wrong; I believe the best way to approach this is to pay attention to your date [recipient].  Pay attention to how they communicate with you, their style.  Stay out of local chat, this demonstrates how you prioritize your receiver.  For some people that is hard to ignore.  Trust me, there will always be plenty of location chat.  There is only one time to make that first impression IM.  Being attentive is rewarding as it adds to the comfort of communication.  If both people are paying attention to each other, then asking questions such as “do you want…” or “do you like…” or “should we…” become much easier to ask.  Take a moment and consider what I am suggesting to you.  A little time up front, gives the relationship [whether romantic or friendship] a good chance to become a good relationship.  You can keep your own style and be you.  When you have questions along the way, clarify with the recipient.  That is the magic silver bullet as I see it; listen and pay attention.

“Digital miscommunication wouldn’t be much of a problem if we always adopted the most optimistic or generous view of an ambiguous email or text.”  Justin Kruger, NYU

…But we don’t assume the most optimistic or generous view, we assume the negative or the indifferent view.  We don’t pay attention closely and view them only through our own filters.  The phrase “no drama” never fails to make me smile in world.  With all the complexities of our communications how can there be anything except drama?

“Elementary”, said he.  “It is one of those instances where the reasoner can produce an effect which seems remarkable to this neighbor, because the latter has missed the one little point which is the basis of the deduction.”  Sherlock Holmes speaking to Dr. Watson, “The Hound of the Baskervilles” [1901].

References:
Specific to Second Life Emoting:

This is what the Pina Colada song meets an unpublished romance novel left in a mud puddle sounds like to me:
“I’m sitting on the sand where we first met, wrapped in the love blanket you gave me. The sun is going down and I can feel you close to me. I’ve got a big smile on my face, but I have tears in my eyes, wishing you were here. If I were speaking now, my voice would be a little croaky because I’ve been singing too long in the cold, but I know you would still love the way I sound. I’m running the warm sand through my fingers and toes, listening to the beautiful sounds of the ocean going dark. I love you so much and I hope you miss me, too.”


 Seersha Heart [saoirseheart resident]
Photos by Karmaghna Ulrik

 
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