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Showing posts with label parody police report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parody police report. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 9, 2022

Entitled blonde porn star meets The SL Enquirer and it ends with a slew of charges

On March 9, 2022, at approximately 6:45 pm SLT, SLE was contacted by Paaulachco Babii aka Jigglie Juggs Velvet asking for a face-to-face meeting with Lanai Jarrico when she realized she was the CEO. Aside from being a fangirl, she is also a low budget blonde porn star from the Crack Den and paid SLE a visit dressed in what can only be described as a freebie store bikini trying to explain what she wanted but her body seemed to be possessed by alien jazz hands until we helped her with a preference settings exorcism.

Upon freeing her from those demons, she requested an interview because it was her 15th rezday. When Jiggli was asked “What would our readers get out of the interview?” her responses would always shy away from the answer and she would jump around topics as she was avoiding the questions believing she didn’t know the answer herself. 

Ms. Juggs finally responded with “that is the writer’s job”, It became clear that she believed her mere existence was important enough to warrant a full interview for FREE at that. When her request was declined it took a turn for the worst and “Karen” came out in all her glory.

18:33] Lanai Jarrico: please don’t waste our time Jiggli

[18:33] Orion Baral: goodbye

[18:33]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): I’m sorry?

[18:33] Lanai Jarrico: Thank you for apologizing.

[18:33] Orion Baral: I don't believe we wish to, have a good evening.

[18:34]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): i don’t understand your poor attitude.  obviously, you get away with it to others.

[18:34]  Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): take care and best of luck in your future endenvors

[18:34] Lanai Jarrico: k bye.

At this point, Ms. Juggs made her exit and sent Lanai Jarrico an IM to continue her entitled ramble.

[18:36] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): I would never pay anyone or any publication to interview me.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: continue to seek freebies and you will get what you don’t pay for. You can unfriend me now thank you.

[18:37] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): Actually, I thought I was doing the two of you a favor.  And it was spontaneous.  What is of interest is the mystery of me.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: leaving did us a favor.

[18:37] Lanai Jarrico: k bye.

[18:37] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): you have a bad attitude.  I don't do your work for you.  Your manager is a jackwagon and you, my dear, are the same. take care ♥

[18:38] Lanai Jarrico: coming from an avie who walks around in a bikini and wants to be interviewed with no real reason lol

[18:39] Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii): coming from a lackluster beat reporter who asks a public person to "fill in " the topic and theme.

[18:39] Lanai Jarrico: yawns *plucks you away*

[18:55] Second Life: You have blocked this Resident. 

Jiggli Juggs Velvet (paulachco.babii) is being charged with failing to register as an SL sex worker with a Trojan virus, not returning her blockbuster videos, and engaging in 12 1/2 counts of anal cybersex with residents of Alabama, Georgia, and Florida, and 22 counts of engaging in oral cybersex with residents from Kansas, Massachusetts and Rhode Island where it is technically illegal.  A warrant is out for her arrest.

If you or anyone you know is a victim of this SL criminal please don’t hesitate to leave your comments below.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Breaking News! SL Weed Dispensary Gets Stood up by unknown assailants! 500L Reward

April 20th, 2015- In the early morning hours of April 19th, two unidentified assailants entered CannabiSL Central and approached the dispensary clerk at prim point. According to evidence gathered from surveillance, the female appears to be the stronghold as her accomplice searched the clerk’s pockets before proceeded to load pounds of marijuana into the back of a multi colored EL Camino before they sped off through the grid. One witness said she was cussed at and violently pushed to the ground by the aggressive female criminal and then helped up by the male accomplice.  Suspects made off with 10 pounds of exotic marijuana such as Yellow Amnesia, Psychosis Cheese, TripleProof BlueMoonshine and Beast Mode. In additions to the weed heist, damages to a flamingo lawn ornament, a soda machine, one slice of pizza from a nearby pizza box and rolling paper were reported stolen. In total, damages exceed over 20,000L.

If anyone has any information or know the names of the two suspects please email for a 500L reward!

*Please note this is a parody weed day police report for entertainment purposes only. No marijuana plants, flamingo law ornaments or avatars were hurt in the making of this report. However the 500L reward is real to anyone who recognizes those avatars!