I’ve gone an entire year since speaking to the Easter Bunny. He was upset about a prank gone wrong when I “accidentally” switched his shampoo with Nair and he spent the better part of the year in hiding while growing back his fur. After tracking him down at a local park, I apologized, and he accepted. We sat down to partake in some easter grass together.
Lanai: Hey you, I just wanted to apologize for that prank I pulled on you last year. I can’t believe the other mascots didn’t warn you. In my defense, that was one wild mascot party. Whatever strain of grass that was passed around last year. It was potent and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Quite frankly I was high AF and it was funny at the time.
Easter Bunny: *rolls eyes* Don’t remind me. I was so pissed at you for that. I almost bombed your house with spoiled easter eggs but got chased away by that feral thing you call a cat.
Lanai: You mean my next-door neighbor? He’s not a cat, he’s a furry and I’m glad he had my back. I would have been pissed and this pranking back and forth would have escalated to the next level of friendly combat.
Easter Bunny: No worries! I don’t have the time or energy to continue with the animosity and fallout from any further drama with you Ms. Jarrico. The other mascot and I would like to form a truce. We understand the nature of your work and are willing to work with you under the conditions you stop pranking and harassing us.
Lanai: Fine.
Easter Bunny: You are a competitive and fierce woman. You have proven that so I am glad we agree on peace. So, I assume you want to do an interview about Easter. How can I help?
Lanai: Thank you for the flowers. I appreciate it. *sparks the doobie and takes a hit, coughs and passes it* So, last year, how did the day end up going for you?
Easter Bunny:*takes a hit* Well… after searching the marketplace for a suitable bunny onesie, I was able to deliver easter baskets across the grid without shame and embarrassment. I even made a new friend. *passes it back*
Lanai: Oh Yeah? I’m glad it all worked out and Easter went on without delay. I heard about your falling out with the Lucky Charms Leprechaun back in mascot College. Sounds like you can use a new buddy.
Easter Bunny: OMG that little imp. I got kicked off Mascot College campus because he didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut about the little grass operation we were involved in. For the record he is the one with all the connections. I was just distributing products that he supplied.
Lanai: I see. He was a snitch and you took the downfall. Yea I got the sense he couldn’t be trusted to do a crime around. So, Tell me about your new friend and then we can discuss your Easter plans. *Takes a hit and passes it back*
Easter Bunny: TY. *sparks it back up takes a hit and goes into a coughing fit*
OMG…That’s some good shit right there! Anyway, During my Easter delivery route, I had to take a potty break. I came across a vampire crying in the alley near a local Blood bank and I was compelled to go over and talk to him. It turns out the Vampire community is in a crisis. There’s a shortage of blood and many of their drinking spots are trying to pass off cherry Kool Aid as an alternative. When I offered him a hug, he tried to bite me. He snapped back to reality when I slapped him. He apologized and offered to take me to a place where they have the best lap dancers on the grid.
Lanai: So that’s how peeps make up nowadays? So, What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?
Easter Bunny: What?
Lanai: Anyway, I meant to say. Poor Vampires. I hope they figure that out. We don’t need a biting epidemic in Second life.
Easter Bunny: I agree. So, this year my plans were to make my own chocolate easter bunnies with some THC infusion to go along with the Easter basket deliveries. I also wanted to set up a place where avies can go and take pictures with yours truly.
Lanai: Isn’t it kinda weird to make chocolate easter bunnies? Humans don’t go around eating people shaped candy. Why would you encourage eating bunnies? Why not do infused lollipops or gummies? Peeps seem to enjoy those types of candies too. Also, if you want to offer pictures with the easter bunny, I’ll set up a spot at The SL Enquirer Media Center for you, You can also host the annual Easter Egg decorating contest.
Easter Bunny: Hmmmm. I never thought about it that way. I guess you’re right. I’ll see what I can come up with and that would be great!
Lanai: Easter isn’t all about candy and grass filled baskets. What else can you tell me about this holiday and how did you get involved?
Easter Bunny: Well, Bunnies symbolize fertility and new life. We also represent the beginning of spring and the promise of new beginnings.
Lanai: I get the part about rabbits being known for their prolific breeding habits so the symbol of fertility is fitting. Did you know back in the 1920’s up until the 1960’s they used rabbits for pregnancy testing? They would inject a rabbit with a woman’s urine, kill them, and examine their ovaries. If they were enlarged, it showed that the woman was pregnant.
Easter Bunny: Well damn that's an uncomfortable fun fact. I’m glad I’m male!
Lanai: You’re welcome. I’m all about educating the public on facts that don’t make sense. Anyway, so do you have anything else you’d like to talk about or share with our readers before you get started on Easter preps?
Easter Bunny: I just want everyone to have a Happy Easter and to remember to always read the labels to the candy you eat. I don’t want to be held responsible for anyone getting so high they do stuff like switching shampoo with nair or being so plastered they can’t remember the day and the real reason for the holiday.
Lanai: Well said.
HAPPY EASTER YA’LL
Special Thanks to DJ Mack Abbott
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