Interview with The Easter Bunny -Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Spring is finally here as the weather starts to warm up and colorful flowers are blooming.  It is the season for renewal and celebrating Easter and spring break!  In Second Life residents are preparing for the change in seasons by picking up the snow and rezzing, fresh grass, flowers and greenery.  To celebrate spring, many shops are having sales, venues are doing hunts and more people are hanging out and hooking up.  Spring seems to have that effect.

During Easter break, SLE set out in search for the Easter Bunny to find out what his plans are.  He’s not an easy mascot to catch up with but a few tricks up the CEO’s sleeve helped lure him in for an interview. She just didn’t plan on such a dramatic display.

Lanai: Hey You! I have been trying to track you down for days now. Sorry about the intrusion but I figure this place would attract you. Got some time to talk?

The Easter Bunny: If it isn’t Ms. Jarrico…. WTF! *tries to cover up his carrot* I thought this was a private spa!

Lanai:  Language! Before you get upset, let me explain… I have been all over the grid asking for you and no one seems to know where you’ve been.  A Leprechaun named Larry, who was on his way to the Bahamas for Spring break, told me you were into facials, massages and happy endings, whatever that means…. so I figured if I visit some spas I might find you and sure enough you were here!

The Easter Bunny: So this was a trap? Was that all he said to you? *suspicious tone*

Lanai: Pretty much.  However, he did tell me you weren’t a very good tipper after private sessions. *looks at him suspicious*

The Easter Bunny: Oh never mind him… He’s loaded with his pot of gold so he shouldn’t complain about that.

Lanai: If you say so. Now you have me curious. What exactly is a happy ending? That leprechaun seemed a bit jilted when he mentioned it.

The Easter Bunny:  Well… Um. Wait a minute… Is this some kind of interrogation? I’ll just say happy endings are legal on most adult sims in SL so I’m in no violation nor obligated to share that information with you!

Lanai: Geez! Calm down, you act like I just caught you in some kind of controversy!

The Easter Bunny: All I wanted was to relax… Now if you don’t mind…scram.

Lanai: Hey now relax and pull the carrot out you’re a$$.  I just wanted to ask what your plans were for Easter break and surprise you with your friend.

Larry the Leprechaun: Hey handsome. Remember me?

The Easter Bunny: You have got to be kidding me!!! What’s HE doing here? Ya know, if this wasn’t a “free” spa I’d want my money back!

Larry the Leprechaun: Don’t act surprised to see me after all we have been through.

The Easter Bunny: Lanai! You set me up! I am writing a letter to Santa and you are going to be sorry for this!

Lanai:  Wait what? Larry, told me you would be delighted to see him…

The Easter Bunny:  Like hell I am! Get him out of here. I have reason to believe he gave me a “Chicago Sunroof” and ruined all the Easter baskets I had worked so hard on. I couldn’t make any deliveries for Easter. Larry ruined it for everyone!

Lanai: a what?

Larry the Leprechaun: *innocent grin*

The Easter Bunny: look it up on urbandictionary.com

Lanai: *looks it up* OH FFS! That’s disgusting!

Larry the Leprechaun: I’m sorry, I was mad. You are lucky you didn’t get an “Alabama Hayride” I’m tired of you keeping us a secret. I thought I was your lucky charm but you know what!?! You can kiss my blarney stone and the next time you want a happy ending you better ask someone else. I’m done with you! You don’t even make a good Easter Bunny, you look like the Trix Cereal Mascot on crack. You silly rabbit!

Lanai: *looks that up*  wow….

Larry the Leprechaun: That’s right I said it!

The Easter Bunny:.*burst out in tears feeling all defeated*

Lanai: Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a bad lifetime movie?

Larry the leprechaun: Ms Jarrico. He and I have been dating for some time now and never once has he showed this much emotion. So thank you, I’ll take him home now.

Lanai: For a happy ending?

Larry the Leprechaun: That and an “Easter Cream Egg”

Lanai: *looks that up*  OMG you are sick! This interview is over!

Happy Spring SLE Fans!

References

Chicago Sunroof

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chicago+sunroof

Alabama Hayride

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Alabama+Hayride

Easter Cream Egg

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Easter+Cream+Egg

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Interview with The Easter Bunny 2015

It is always interesting interviewing holiday mascots in Second Life. Some are reluctant to be interviewed by The SL Enquirer while others take their chances and hope for the best. As ridiculous as these interviews can get I usually have fun with them. This year I caught up with the Easter Bunny but it took a weird turn. Some mascots seriously need to be screened for strange addictions and drug abuse.

Lanai: Hi. I was told I could find the Easter Bunny here. Can you tell me where he is?

Easter Bunny:  Hey there sexy! You are looking at him.

Lanai: Ohhhh. You aren’t the kind of bunny I was expecting to find. What happened to last year’s Easter mascot? I don’t remember him having a British accent and dressed like a Playgirl playmate.

Easter Bunny: Pickings were slim this year for the position so here I am.  As unfortunate as it sounds that bloody fur ball got fired and thrown in the clinker for selling synthetic Easter grass to avatars. He was busted by an undercover Linden.

Lanai: Oh My! That’s terrible news. And you are the replacement?

Easter Bunny: Yes I am and tell me about it.  Of all the wonderful things he could have been doing like orchestrating grand Easter egg hunts and filling baskets with tasty treats, he decided to make the holiday mascot community look bad with his utterly atrocious and repulsive behavior!

Lanai: I can see how this has personally affected you but don’t you think you should be looking a bit more traditional and kid friendly?  What made you apply for the position?

Easter Bunny: That is a brilliant question Ms. Jarrico. Maybe my uniform is a bit edgy and erotic but I can get the job done. I was given this position through a temp agency. It has been hard for me to find a real job since rehab. I was originally looking for something with more dignity and self respect.  But I had no other choice. It was either this, a stripper, escort or Furry park ranger. Those jobs would have been counterproductive in my recovery.

Lanai: What is this virtual world coming to? Rehab??? I don’t mean to be all judgy but don’t they screen holiday mascot applicants and have a dress code?

Easter Bunny: Apparently not.  I can see my looks being a distraction. You keep staring at my carrot.  Rest assured I’m a changed man. My days hooked on sex are over.

Lanai: Oh sorry but that carrot of yours is hard to miss.  I have to say, this interview is getting more awkward by the minute. So you were in rehab for sex addiction?

Easter Bunny: Admitting that I had a problem was the first step. Yes, I was at it like a raging hormonal rabbit. It got to the point where I was facing kidney failure from severe dehydration.

Lanai: Uhhh.

Easter Bunny:  What?

Lanai: nothing. So, what do you have planned for Easter Festivities this year?

Easter Bunny: Well, rather than hosting Easter egg hunts, I was thinking it would be fun to play hide the carrot.

Lanai: How does that relate to this holiday though?

Easter Bunny: Well… You know everyone likes a good hunt right? I have a nice big carrot here…

Lanai: OK stop! This is getting a bit uncomfortable. Don’t you think hiding your carrot sounds like a sexual reference? I’m not sure it is a good idea.

Easter Bunny: How do you know that? Let’s do a test run and see how you like it.

Lanai: I don’t think so. It seems to me you are relapsing.

Easter Bunny: I’ve been sex free for nearly an hour. That is a new record for me.

Lanai: Unbelievable.  Do you have a sponsor helping you?

Easter Bunny: Yes, it is funny that you asked. Cupid is my sponsor.

Lanai: Cupid? Really!?! Wow of all the sponsors they could have set you up with, Cupid was the most ideal choice?

Easter Bunny: Yes , due to his erectile dysfunction, they figured he would be able to keep me from relapsing and giving in to my sexual urges.

Lanai: Where is he now?

Easter Bunny: at the bar.

Lanai: Is this some kind of sick joke? You holiday mascots are all screwed up. Why do I suddenly feel like this is a Dr. Phil combined with Jerry Springer episode? I was hoping to interview you about Easter but this has turned into some kind of weird confession and intervention.

Easter Bunny: I know this interview has you feeling a bit confused and uncomfortable. Let me relieve your stress. How about we go back to my place and talk over dinner and wine.

Lanai: You have got to be kidding me! I’m out of here.

 HAPPY EASTER SLE FANS

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