Spotlight on SmacemanSpiff Grau- Mixing Business and Pleasure with Humor

Second Life is a virtual melting pot of people from all walks of life. In this unique global community, everyone has a story to tell no matter if they are in the virtual world for business or pleasure. Through the years The SL Enquirer has interviewed countless avatars and toured thousands of locations to learn more about the people behind the creativity and their virtual lifestyles.. For many, the attraction to friends and partners is based on the similarities in their likes and needs. Real-life looks and personal detail seem to fall into the background. The best part is we all meet each other from the inside out. Individual personalities are more important than looks. Not to say an attractive avatar can be a plus for those who want to enhance the fantasy and role play side of the grid.  Meet SmacemanSpiff Grau, winner of The Spotlight Feature Drawing at Terry’s Place  Sunday Showcase. He is an 11 year veteran of Second Life who has seen and done a lot and embraces the community in business as well as leisure activities with a good sense of humor.  SLE met up with Smace to get a glimpse at how he views Second Life and what he does.

Interview with SmacemanSpiff “Smace” Grau

SLE: Hi Smace it’s a pleasure to meet you. How did you discover Second Life?

Smace: Hi! Thanks for the opportunity! Second Life, for me, was initially a way for me to escape. I was going through a rough patch in life and had heard of SL as an online world with the creation and social aspects. I figured it could be a good distraction for me. I didn’t know much more than that and had no idea what to expect, so I signed up to see what it was all about!

SLE: I bet it was an eye-opening initial experience!  I’ve come across a lot of creative names but yours stands because it looks like a misspelling of “Spaceman” but according to the trusty Urban Dictionary, Smace means having an unusually small face and an average-sized head like a Keebler Elf. I had a good laugh with that one.   What inspired your name? 

Smace: Ha!! Well, those elves make some really good cookies, especially the ones with the fudge stripes… but no, it did not come from the vertically challenged bakers. It was a typo from trying to register Spaceman Spiff, the alter ego of Calvin from the syndicated comic strip Calvin and Hobbes. I love that kid and his tiger. It ended up being a good mistake to add some originality to the name. Excuse me for a minute while I go measure my face to head ratio…

SLE: So I was right! LOL! Would you say Second Life is an extension of your real life or just a game? 

Smace: It is definitely an extension of my real life. Even my partner in SL is my partner in real life, sharing a desk and sitting 3 feet from me. The person I am in SL is pretty much the same as on the other side of the screen, minus a few grey hairs and with a better wardrobe.

SLE: That has to feel great to find someone who enjoys Second Life as much as you do and omg yes the wardrobe here makes my rl character jealous!  Someone once said Second Life is just a chatroom with sh*t to do. I have to agree.  What type of activities do you get involved in on the grid?

Smace: Music started out as a big draw for me, and still is. It is fun to hear new music and I do enjoy fun banter with people. I also love to see new sims that people are building, especially the ones that use custom-made or modified objects pieced together. I am amazed at the creativity and attention to detail. Also, shopping, because… shopping.  

SLE: Absolutely! After 16 years, the creativity in SL still amazes me. With over 11 years of virtual world experience under your belt, what events have stood out the most to you?

Smace: Well, there was that one day when I met my wife… that was kind of a big one… 

SLE: Aww that's sweet! So,  you have a small shop in-world that features some of your creations like migrating Canadian Geese, neon signs, go-karts, a rocket blaster, and even a Zamboni. I mean who wouldn’t want one of those? Just the name alone is pretty funny. I personally like the wood signs Lol. You also have a marketplace shop that features even more things. Can you share with our readers how you would describe your products and what inspires them?

Smace: I’m the type of person that likes to figure out how things work, which is also how a lot of things in my life end up broken. As far as inspiration, a lot of it comes from my wife who says "you know what would be fun" or "can you make me a...". The rest comes from me asking myself the same questions. I try to make things that are fun and interactive with a little bit of whimsy. Everything that I make and sell at Spiffy has made me smile at some point. I like to push all the buttons and see what they do, which is why I try to add all the buttons to my products. I’m not a professional creator by any means, but I really enjoy the building process and hope that I can make things that other people will enjoy, too. Every project introduces new challenges, which is kind of like a game to me. I’m not sure if I’m winning yet, but it sure is fun!

SLE: I still haven’t mastered placing pictures flush to my building walls and it drives my manager crazy, but I definitely can see how trying new things and nurturing your creativity can be exciting.  Aside from getting inspiration from your wife, Do you create custom products for customers?

Smace: I have not been asked for any custom products, but I’m always up for a challenge!

SLE: I always wanted a rolled-up newspaper with a beat-down animation in case I need to attack a griefer. Are you up for that challenge? Anyway,  I can tell you have a sense of humor. It’s almost a must in Second Life with all the weird and wonderful things it has to offer. Besides creating interesting products, what other things do you like to do in Second Life?

Smace: I like to play. Dressing up in costumes for parties, playing with toys, shooting snowballs, exploring new places, taking silly pictures, dancing all the dumb dances… I love using the space as a playground amplified by ridiculousness. Rando and I have built and been managing a farm on a homestead we call Walsh County. When you add go-karts, it’s endless laughter among the rows of wheat.

SLE:  lol, I’m trying to picture that. Too funny! Do you have any advice you would give a Noob just starting out in Second Life with no direction?

Smace: Whatever your reason for being here, roleplay, creating, meeting people, dating, exploring… remember that the characters you interact with have a real person behind the pixels. We all have a story and a life. Have fun. Make it your own Second Life, but not at the expense of others. 

SLE: That’s great advice.  Congratulations on winning the Spotlight Feature drawing at Terry’s Place. Thank you for taking some time out of your day. It was a pleasure to chat with you. Before we go, is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?

Smace: No, thank YOU for taking the time to do this! This has been great and I really appreciate it! I don’t have much else, other than to suggest looking up your name in the Urban Dictionary before agreeing to an interview with The SL Enquirer.

Additional Information:

Walsh County

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Campton/46/53/23

SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Rivuline/241/249/2001 

Marketplace: https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/212961 

Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/groups/14680384@N24/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_zDEqLyjbaXO_VBMeXuDzw?view_as=subscriber 

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ShenaniganS brings some Dickensian Christmas Cheer!

 

We appreciate 2021 hasn't been fab for everyone in RL so we hope that we can help restore some festive humor with this years theme build.

UBER: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Ocean%20Of%20Orchids/96/108/29

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SLE ARCHIVES 2017: Thanksgiving. What’s the Big Deal? Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

This parody article is back by popular demand,

Thanksgiving is observed in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Liberia, and Norfolk Island on the fourth Thursday of November. This year it falls on the 23rd day of the month.
The holiday includes a gathering of family and friends for the great feast of the season. Traditionally, tables are laid out like a buffet of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, gravy and all sorts of other family recipes passed down from generations.

Today, the meal is usually followed by some football, snacks, and beer. The whole day seems to revolve around food and entertaining house guests or house hoppin’ for pickings.
But really... what is Thanksgiving about?

I sat down with Pilgrim Pete and Chief Roughneck to ask them about this holiday and get both perspectives on how it came about. 

Interview with a Pilgrim and an Indian

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SLE ARCHIVES 2015: Thanksgiving Interview with a Protesting Turkey- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so it is time for another Holiday Mascot Interview. I truly enjoy meeting these characters in Second Life because something unexpected always happens. Last time I interviewed a Thanksgiving mascots, it ended in an argument between a Pilgrim and Indian. This year I decided I would talk to a Turkey about his perspective, so I went to a breedable farm...

Lanai: Excuse me Mr Turkey, my name is Lanai from The SL Enquirer.  Do you have time for an interview?

Turkey: Ugh that newspaper? pfft. Anyway,  My name is Justin and get away from me! I’m not in a very trusting mood this time of year.

Lanai: Hey now!  Relax, Justin. I’m not here to hunt you for my table. I just want to talk to you about Thanksgiving.

Turkey: What’s to talk about? It is not my favorite holiday, neither is Christmas. You humans need to think about making healthier choices that do not involve us.

Lanai: But Turkey is very healthy. It is a valuable source of protein and is a good source of iron, zinc, potassium, and phosphorus in addition to vitamin B6 and niacin, which are both essential for the body's energy production. Don’t make me get all educational about it, but I understand why you’d disagree with sacrificing yourself for us. I just wanted to get your perspective on this holiday.

Turkey: Well from my perspective, it isn’t all about zinc, potassium, vitamin B6 and blah blah blah all that other stuff. It’s all about being choked, feathers being plucked, and having my neckbone shoved up my ass! Then, to finish me off with a golden brown crisp. Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun does it?  If it were up to me, I would hunt down humans and stick them in the center of a table for my family to gather around and see how you like it, but we are herbivores. Besides that, you humans eat way too much junk food and would not be healthy to eat, even for a pig!

Lanai:That wasn’t very nice Justin.

Turkey: What’s not nice is the annual roundup of my fellow feathered fowls...Lanai

Lanai: I guess you have a point. So what do you suggest we use as our main staple for Thanksgiving ?

Turkey: If I really had a say. I would suggest that nice stocky Amaretto horse over there! Let me make my case for your brutal holiday.  You can make horse bacon, ribs, scrapple, pony sausage, rump roast, horse shoulder, horse rinds, jerky and  stew. Do I need to go on? Don’t get me started on the breedable dragons and meeroos if you can catch one.

By this time all the Breedable animals gathered around to listen in…

Horse: Hold on a second Justin there is such a thing as turkey bacon just saying!  Remember you have to live here with us so be careful what you tell this nosy reporter.

Meerroos: Wait. What?

Justin the Turkey: I will peck both of your eyeballs out. Mind your own business. The way you both populate Second Life, you outta be the ones hunted!

Horse: Don’t make me come over there Justin.

Meeroos: pfft. *scurries off*

Justin the Turkey: Oh yea ponyboy? I got one thing to say! *points at the horses*  Lady,take your pick. Each one is at least 2,400 pounds of meat!

Lanai: Wooooah. Wait a minute.

Horse: *gives Justin the hoof and gallops off into the stable*

Chicken: Keep me and my chicks out of this conversation. This is the one day of the year that we get a break, so CLUCK OFF!

Justin the Turkey: Easy there feathered friend!  What’s one more day? Let’s not mention Football season and all the damn chicken wings these humans consume.

Lanai: OK, this is getting out of hand.  Let me just clear the air before a riot breaks out on this farm. I am just here to talk about Thanksgiving from a Turkey’s perspective.

Unknown animal in the crowd: You picked the wrong farm lady!

Lanai: Is that so? *smirks*

In the meantime, Justin the Turkey and his flock gets into an argument with the Horses and chickens while Lanai quietly backs out of the barn and starts the turkey deep fryer.

It is clear that an interview with a Turkey was not the best idea, especially on a farm where other disgruntled animals live just awaiting for consumption. However you celebrate Thanksgiving  be thankful for the animals who unwillingly sacrificed themselves for you.

Happy Thanksgiving SLE Fans!

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SLE POLICE REPORT- ROLE-PLAYING WITH FIRE

Second Life- On October 31st at approximately 6:25 pm SLT, it was reported that a Roleplay sim owner on the seedy side of the grid was arrested and charged with countless verbal assaults on women who do not heed to his romantic advances.  According to sources close to the SL Enquirer. Elrond Caudron AKA  “ChŘĭŠťƠÞĦë ΜċϜàΝčŸ was seen hanging out the bathroom window of his home hurling a barrage of insults and profanities while waving a British flag and claiming he was God’s gift to women. A crowd formed in the streets with many holding up their smartphones to record the incident.

 He could be heard yelling at a woman, “ Ignorance and ghosting are forms of emotional abuse and narcissism. I will not tolerate it. Women like YOU are undeserving of men like ME. Men who can do the things that I can, men who HAVE emotional depth and intelligence. The multitudes of creative brilliance I have? NO man on here even comes close. ALL men you encounter on here, from now on, are scum compared to me. You deserve men who are Neanderthals, men who are total wankers and have NOTHING to offer you. 

He went on to shout,  “You sound like a proper fat (BLEEP) in real life and you more than likely 100% ARE.  You're clearly an extremely bland individual and you have nothing to offer me at all. You probably have such low self esteem and worth that you consider yourself to be unworthy of men like me. And you most certainly are unworthy of men like me. Such a time wasting piece of (BLEEP). I have THREE sims with 60,000 prims so enjoy your (BLEEP) bit of land! I have multiple, incredible talents. I'm tall and handsome in RL. You're also annoying. So it's YOUR loss, it truly is”.

The unidentified woman he was insulting responded with, “Since you clearly don't have a clue and chose to verbally attack me like the emotional abuser you are, allow me to retort.  You call me ignorant, yet I have a college degree and am highly respected within my career.  You call me a narcissist, yet the exact definition of narcissist mirrors who you are.  In case you were curious here is what a narcissist is " a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves."  " Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement."  Sound familiar?  Well, it should.  As for me being "undeserving" of a "man" like you .....well you are right there.  I DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU”.  It’s sad that it took me three days to figure that out.  Such a waste of my valuable time, yes.  As for self esteem, who's the one going on and on about themselves and needs constant reassurance.  I know my own worth and what I will NOT TOLERATE.  I do not need to boast my values to any person.  If you're too "bland" to see them that is all you.  You have no sense of humor, you show no interest except in that of yourself.  You are arrogant and quite frankly a (BLEEP).  So, yes I chose not to speak with you.  Me being the tolerant, forgiving person I am I decided to give you a second chance, but yet you proved my point once again.  I don't take too fondly of being gaslighted.  Lastly, perceiving me as  "a proper fat (BLEEP)  irl" makes me laugh.  That's such a polite way to talk to women.  Way to go!!!! Does it make you feel more like a "man" to demeanor women?  I happen to be 5' 10" and very attractive irl. Although I am far from being vain, unlike you.  Don't believe me?  Don't really care.  One thing is for sure, you will never know.  You are not nor will you ever be God's gift to women.  Matter of fact all you did was once again go on and on about yourself. Have fun (BLEEPING) yourself with your PROPER TINY PENIS.  It more than likely 100% is.  You're also a boring (BLEEP).  Your loss though sweetheart.....truly.....your loss.  The monster inside you is indeed NOT DEAD.  If anything it has overcome you.  Something to think about as you move forward.  Well played keyboard warrior!

 And with all that said a fight broke out in the crowd when someone in a state of hysterical laughter agreed that he had a micropenis and that’s why his attempted relationships keep failing with women. 

A local nightclub owner identifying himself only as “Chocolate Star”, chimed in to dispute the false accusations leading to a glitter fight in the street. 

Witnesses were in shock as Christophe hopped off his toilet and ran outside while pulling up his pants and flashing everyone to continue his verbal rampage.  One witness said, perhaps he had a hemorrhoid flare-up and was acting out of pocket while another said she heard a rumor that he recently got ghosted by someone who made the right decision and he probably just snapped.

Known as a hothead and a master manipulator amongst the swinger and furry communities,  Christophe denies all accusations and threatened to call his public defender.

 Jack’s Law and Taco Shack could not be reached for comments.  

Upon further investigation into this situation more women have come forward for a total of 12 including, four furries, three tinies, two stripper bots, and a dragon. 

He was sentenced to 6 months of house arrest, 52 ½ hours of community service as the resident heevahava at Spanky’s Horse Ranch, 7 anger management classes, and had to donate 55,000L to “Women are the future” charity fund. 

Charges for indecent language and exposure near a public child avatar park are pending further investigation.

Other charges include a 2500L littering fine for glitter clean up, assault with a corn cob (investigation pending), animal abuse of a breedable cat he trampled while charging the crowd, lying on his Mcdonald’s resume, and claiming eight children not biologically related on last year’s taxes.

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Spotlight on the “Attack of the Kevin” - Angelo Nova Reporting

Shining lights on recent events, I decided to investigate what many are calling “The Attack of the Kevin”, it has come to my attention through many different social platforms that there is a resident that goes by the name of kevin6510 (and many other combinations of 4 digit numbers after the name “Kevin”) who has been visiting different events around the grid for a very long time now. 

This resident is very straightforward and doesn’t take too long before dropping the message we all have come to learn and be aware of:

Many of us are aware that this is nothing more than a typical scam, a message that is sent to hundreds if not thousands of residents at once. I wanted to go further with this investigation, and try and see if I can better understand the inner workings of the mind of “The Kevin”. 

It didn’t take much research to come across this group on Facebook, called “Second Life Kevin” (https://www.facebook.com/groups/SLKevin/) where many people seem to treat it as a sort of an “idol” and someone they look up to. Obviously, this is all in good irony, people use this group to expose such scams and people that use the same tactics to make a living on Second Life. 

It’s a very common scam that different residents have used over the years, and this person in particular, “The Kevin”, has been using this same method for many years, so obviously, there is something in it for him. 

Many event hosts and creators have started putting out signs that warn visitors about this sort of behavior as shown below:

We have gone ahead and sat down with one of the recent victims of the Kevin scam for an interview, to get their side of things.

SLE: When Kevin first came to you, were you just shopping? What happened?

RoyaleSun: Kevin usually IM's me.  He appears in popular women's wear shops and IM's everyone, I think.

SLE: That really sounds like Kevin, alright, and in regards to how he works, were you aware of the ways of “The Kevin” when this happened?

RoyaleSun: At first no....but after receiving the 2nd request, with a different name but the same photo, I caught on quickly.

SLE: Oh? Is that so? I’m very happy to hear, at least you didn’t fall for the trick! But tell me, how did you handle the situation?

RoyaleSun: I reported him to Linden Labs as is against the TOS to ask people for money.

SLE: You did right, unfortunately, it seems like he always manages to come back with a new account every few months, but tell me, now that you know what Kevin is about, are you a fan of his marvelous ways?

RoyaleSun: No Way!  Whoever is behind it obviously has nothing better to do than to try to scam people.

SLE: I certainly can understand your concern on this one, it really isn’t right to scam people like that... Since then have you come across any other residents using this method?

RoyaleSun: Yes there are several, but offhand I couldn't give you names.

SLE: Thank you, RoyaleSun for giving this brief interview, is there something else you would like to say to those reading?

RoyaleSun: Be smart, pay attention and never give anyone money!

You've read it all here folks! Don't give anyone money! Not even that person messaging you from a shady group wanting you to be their sugar daddy!

As you can see here, this person has decided to come forth and talk to us about how it felt to be “Kevin’ed” and help shine some light on this mystery, and help us better understand how the mind of Kevin works, and know more about this resident that has been haunting Second Life for years now… Is he even a bot?... Is he Human?

Many have claimed to have taken a picture with Kevin, but some disagree and claim that those pictures were made up and that in reality, Kevin is nothing more than a scripted agent, created by the wicked mind of an evil villain on Second Life, trying to make a quick buck by taking advantage of other residents, who are too naive to realize that a lot of people are also being messaged by this same evil mastermind. 

Unfortunately, at this time we were unable to get a response back from “The Kevin” himself, as it seems that the accounts he has been using for his wicked ways are all temporarily banned, once again, as it has been the case over the years, but this man does not quit, he is as persistent as they come, and he won’t stop until he gets those last 462L$ he needs to buy his Skin and Shape combo. 

Many over the years have pretended to be “The Kevin” himself and come forward, claiming it was all for a good cause, but unfortunately, they were never able to show proof of being the true mastermind behind the whole plan. Recently, a few rumors have been spreading, claiming that Kevin is Philip Linden himself, back from the dead and attempting to make back some money from the lost investment that was made in Project Sansar. 

But I guess we will never know, as the picture that is being used by “The Kevin” himself to represent himself on this virtual world seems to have been taken from a Google search of the most “Bro dudes” on the planet, a typical Chad, if I may say so myself.

Hopefully, one of these days we will be able to actually find the real Kevin and sit down for an interview with him, for your reading pleasure.

We conclude this article with one last question we want to ask all of you reading this article from the comfort of your own homes:

“hey nice avatar...im new to this game and saved 238 of those linden things from a contest and camping...im trying to get this skin/shape combo for 700...I feel bad for asking but can you please lend me 462 so i can get it?...if not thats fine too...just seems nobody wants to help me out”

This has been Angelo Nova, with SL Enquirer and Kevin… you have been…EXPOSED.

URL: (https://www.facebook.com/groups/SLKevin)

Group: (secondlife:///app/group/fcdf30be-adb4-40ab-a04a-37e5dadb4ee0/about)

Facebook: (https://www.facebook.com/angelonovaSL/)

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Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn... Escorting In SL- Stacey Cardalines Reporting...

"I've always considered writing to be the most hateful kind of work. I suspect it's a bit like f*cking — which is fun only for amateurs. Old whores don't do much giggling. Nothing is fun when you have to do it — over and over, again and again — or else you'll be evicted, and that gets old." - Hunter S. Thompson

 

This is the first thing that should go through the mind of anyone who is thinking about life as an Escort. You will be stepping into a world of Rote Sexualization, and something that was once fireworks-in-the-sky awesome will be slowly ground down to you dressing as a cheerleader in a squalid motel room and sullenly climbing onto some ugly fat guy who is more than twice your age. You and he met five minutes ago, when he yelled "Hey, slut!" out of a car window. There's a reason this man is paying for sex, but there is also a reason you are taking payment for it. It's not for me to judge. I have some remarkably shameful things on my personal resume...

 

(lost in thought)

 

Sorry... where were we?

 

What I can do for you is get out on the street, talk to some escorts, and get some insight into just what this sort of life on SL entails. I can also try to find out, as the SLE Staff Assignment Log entry asks for this article, "Why would someone take it up?"

 

This article may be somewhat skewered demographically. I don't do much whoring, on either end of the transaction, and am not familiar with the processes of getting or being a prostitute. I have ideas where, while researching this article, I might find streetwalkers. I really don't have any idea at all where I may find a more high-end, organized pimping service where the girls have dental plans and 401Ks or screw Charlie Sheen. Therefore, we may get a more street-level view of the oldest profession, which is probably where someone thinking of taking up God's Greatest Game as a job or lifestyle is going to start off/end up anyhow.

 

Most of the girls who I found practicing this trade had an understandable desire to keep their names and faces out of this article. Even if the shoe fits, no one wants to be known as the girl who blew someone while sitting on a toilet. I shall respect that. That is why this article will be more me speaking of things in general, rather than me quoting the streetwalkers by name. No Van Morrison/Caravan outing in this column... "Sweet lady of the night, I shall reveal you!"

 

The pictures with this article are models posing as strumpets- I'm the brunette, the blonde is SL Enquirer model Courtney, the redhead is Divas dancer Lynda and none of us work as prostitutes- because the real deal girls are smart enough not to appear on camera. We're not listing any sim names which welcome prostitution, because at that point we become involved indirectly with pimping, and we're a family-friendly newspaper who really shouldn't be doing stuff like that. 

 

While the movies and TV shows may make Escorting seem like an exercise in Female Empowerment, the truth is a bit less Female Empowering. An escort is often someone who has no other options that he or she is aware of. Life deals us all a hand, and we have to make the most of the cards we draw. Sometimes that makes you the President of the USA, or sometimes it leads you to the No-Tell Motel. The devil, as they say, is in the details, and you should always read the small print.

 

On SL, it may be less tragic and more functional. This very reporter refuses to use a credit card to buy Lindens for a video game. I also have a job at this paper that pays my SL bills, and I have it because I have a talent for finding, investigating, interviewing and photographing SL stuff. I had a friend who knew Lanai, the boss of this paper, and I got a job. I had options when I started SL. Some people don't have journalistic skills, and employment is a hard thing to find on SL. You can only go so far with freebies, even if you shop like a MFer.

 

However, any girl who can make a pretty avatar and who can talk a good game has at least one option. It's nothing you'd brag about to Mother. "Mom, Dad, awesome news... I fellated three businessmen today!" It beats starving, but it's nothing that Mom is going to be bringing up at the PTA meeting.

 

The role play aspect is a strong motivating factor on SL. Face it, most of us have mundane lives. Get the kids off to school, do the laundry, vacuum, afternoon shift stocking paper towels at the grocery store, church on Sunday... one can understand how a woman with that RL might seek a bit more spice on when establishing a fantasy version of herself in a virtual world. A boring housewife can push a button and become a wild sexual icon with men all up and after her, throwing money. When I spoke of "no other options" earlier, I left out some things. Some people do Escorting just for the role play aspect of it. 

 

Once you perform the moral gymnastics necessary to start off in the business, the money is OK. You can buy a new dress, some nice shoes, go out shopping with friends... like a normal person. Just when your normal friends are reaching for their credit cards to get the funding for a new hat, you need not do so. You've paid the piper in a different manner, with a special kind of currency. Your friends need not know a thing. As this column frequently advises our readers, "Do your dirt by your lonesome."

 

One of the hookers and I got to talking about regular stuff, and we found out that we had the same mesh body. We got it at the same store, roughly about the same time, and paid the same amount for it. I work as a journalist, and I have a side job as a professional wrestler. She's a prostitute. To get myself meshed, I had to research and write 3 lengthy articles for Lanai, and also had to fight a really mean Czech girl at a Saturday afternoon arena show. I got held upside down, then driven down on my head until I was unconscious. For three days after, I was unable- even with prompting- to remember my own birthday or middle name. That's how I was able to buy my mesh shape. The escort? "One word, lady... bukake. Three Japanese guys. It took seven minutes. I was at the Maitreya store a half hour later."

 

A lot of the hazards associated with RL escorting do not apply to SL. I don't think that you can be arrested for hooking on SL, unless you go to some heroic lengths. You can't catch any diseases from sex on SL, at least not physical ones. Escorting on SL is not like Grand Theft Auto. You can't have your fun with a lady of the evening, then hit her with a flamethrower and get your money back. That doesn't mean that someone won't try...but you will not fall victim to the Long Island Serial Killer or the New Bedford Serial Killer on SL, unless it is part of the role play. You're probably not going to end up marrying Richard Gere either, but if the risk is low, why not shoot for a high reward?

 

There are various sims devoted to attracting streetwalkers, and the men who love them. Most of them are seedy, by design. Sim owners sort of aim towards a stereotype when trying to attract a niche business, and the sims reflect it. If you are hunting for a hooker, you probably want to focus on shadowy, urban sims more than trying to get a Happy Happy in a small town that looks like it drifted out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I can not recall a single episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Andy and Barney had to kick a couple of prostitutes in the ass to get them off the corner in Mayberry.

 

My research did lead me to learn that high end girls operate out of private clubs, usually classier strip clubs or BDSM sims. Group membership often involves an annual fee, and the girls are battle-tested and runway-ready. You can't just walk in off the street with a noob av and work at these places, even if you can write sex better than that Fifty Shades Of Grey author. These places often have a sort of House Mother who makes the girls look like the club and customers want them to look like. Hell, when I was a cheerleader, I was given a ton of gear and outfits, and we weren't f*cking anyone. A brothel will often spare no expense to have very well-made girls, and the expense is not the only thing passed along to the customer. 

 

I should add that the Grand Slam Breakfast on this topic of SL Escorting would be someone who uses SL to set up RL prostitution interactions. I'm no lawyer, but my guess is that this is highly illegal, perhaps even on a Federal, interstate level. I didn't find any of those kind of girls in my research, but the day ain't over yet.

 

In the end, it matters very little how one practices her craft. Whether you are laying on silk sheets at the Playboy mansion or sucking/f*cking/long haul trucking through a series of shoddy hotel rooms, you are all sisters in a special club, one that goes back to Neanderthal times. After overcoming a few language-based difficulties, you could talk shop with a girl holding the same job in 200 BC Mesopotamia and basically be telling each other the same story. Life is funny that way. 

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