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17 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label turkey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label turkey. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving From the Sports and Leisure Desk at SLE- Stacey Cardalines Reporting...

 

Gobble Gobble!


Thanksgiving and Halloween are sorts of the co-anchors of the Autumn season. Autumn starts in September, but September and early October can still have some nice days, at least where I live (Massachusetts). Halloween and Thanksgiving fall (no pun intended) is a time of year when there is no doubt that Summer has left the building. I've bundled my children up in winter coats to send them trick or treating, and I've sat at a Thanksgiving football game where it was 12 degrees outside.


This cold dichotomy may lead some people to hate Autumn, but not this reporter. I love the change of seasons, I love the fall foliage and I love all the harvest stuff going on at local farms. One of the reasons that I haven't written here in a while is that I spent a lot of October and November driving around to look at trees changing color or roaming through pumpkin patches like Linus. There are other reasons, but they are sad ones, and this is supposed to be the Enquirer's funny column, so no need to drag that all up here.

I was looking to write about Thanksgiving and especially Plymouth. Plymouth is the birthplace of Thanksgiving (Jamestown had the real first Thanksgiving, but Virginians need to argue with their underperforming public relations staff, not me). I live deep enough in real-life Plymouth County that I can see the Mayflower II across the bay from my house. Seeking to capitalize on this unearned Dad-bought-a-house-here expertise, I hunt incessantly for Plymouth-related sims every November so that I can let the people know my wisdom.

Only once in my years working for this publication have I found Plymouth on SL, and- to be frank- it looked more like northern California... and I say that in the "Sacramento is not California" sense that Rush Street Reggie made famous. They had a Mayflower, a few colonial-looking cabins, and some turkeys running about. I was very pleased, and Lanai got a Thanksgiving article out of me that year. That sim is something else these days, and I could find no substitute for it any other year I looked.

This year also failed to net me a Plymouth, but that doesn't mean my deadline goes away, so I had to hunt me up some Autumn somewhere.

I found Autumn in spades at the Mieville Thanksgiving Street Fair. This is a very nice sim that is all set up for the Fall season. as you can see from the pictures, they have turkeys, fireplaces, fall foliage, November-blooming flowers... all that good stuff.  The sim is cleverly constructed so the visitor walks around a pastoral autumn scene, but as they do, they go by little sales kiosks where they can purchase seasonally-themed products.



It makes for a very nice walk and is a good setting for some cute pictures. I heartily recommend it. They have the autumnal theme running through the 25th, so hurry on down this long weekend. Much like real life, there isn't much time for you to see Fall things... it will be December before you and I speak again.

People take things in SL for granted. If you go to a sim where it is done up for Autumn, you should rightfully praise whoever set the sim up. You should also, however, appreciate the infrastructure which provides the things that you see at that sim. You have to find someone who sells Autumn trees, turkeys, horns-o-plenty, Mayflowers, and what have you. SL is funny like that- many people play SL just to have cyber sex, but there are people who log on to SL and spend the day making Pilgrim hats. Because of them and the sacrifices they made, the sim you get laid at has a nice, comforting Autumn look. A timeless Norman Rockwell background takes some of the shame out of av-fucking a stranger.

Because there are designers who make turkey tailfeathers and Pilgrim costumes, my sister Courtney and I have seasonally-themed outfits for our job as dancers. Being from Plymouth, I was a natural for the Naughty Pilgrim costume. Not being from Plymouth, my sister ended up having to be a turkey. I didn't think to include my costume, which is just black lingerie with a Priscilla Alden bonnet, in this article. There was no way in Hell I was going to forget to highlight my sister with goofy turkey feathers attached to her lower spine. 

I won the next season, too... I get to dance as Mrs. Claus, while Courtney will spend December wearing reindeer antlers with blinking Christmas tree lights on them. Much like her tailfeathers, she loves when people ask about her antlers, why she has to wear them, whether she lost a bet or not... go on down and say hello.

People should also not take Autumn for granted. Autumn gets a bad rap, basically because it is Summer's pallbearer. Never forget that Autumn stands between Summer and the ice/cold/snow of Winter. Winter's main holiday- Christmas- is all about snow and cold. There will be months where you'd be thrilled to see a forecast for the day as "highs in the 40s, lows in the 30s." People in western New York right now wish it was 48 degrees.

The key is to see the bright side. Go out even on SL- and see some trees changing color. Get an apple cider donut. Watch some farmer harvest something. Remember, in about a month, it will be too cold to go out. Go down to the Mieville Thanksgiving Street Fair and see some Autumn. Otherwise, once you go down the list some, you'll end up at Divas, watching a stripper journalist dressed as a Pilgrim... or her sister Courtney, dressed as a turkey.

The positive part of journalism is informing the public, sharing your adventures, helping someone who needs help, promoting good causes, blah blah blah... the negative but fun part of journalism is using your column to humiliate your sister, who might have to dance for all comers dressed as a turkey.






Thursday, November 25, 2021

SLE ARCHIVES 2015: Thanksgiving Interview with a Protesting Turkey- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…



Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so it is time for another Holiday Mascot Interview. I truly enjoy meeting these characters in Second Life because something unexpected always happens. Last time I interviewed a Thanksgiving mascots, it ended in an argument between a Pilgrim and Indian. This year I decided I would talk to a Turkey about his perspective, so I went to a breedable farm...



Lanai: Excuse me Mr Turkey, my name is Lanai from The SL Enquirer.  Do you have time for an interview?

Turkey: Ugh that newspaper? pfft. Anyway,  My name is Justin and get away from me! I’m not in a very trusting mood this time of year.

Lanai: Hey now!  Relax, Justin. I’m not here to hunt you for my table. I just want to talk to you about Thanksgiving.

Turkey: What’s to talk about? It is not my favorite holiday, neither is Christmas. You humans need to think about making healthier choices that do not involve us.



Lanai: But Turkey is very healthy. It is a valuable source of protein and is a good source of iron, zinc, potassium, and phosphorus in addition to vitamin B6 and niacin, which are both essential for the body's energy production. Don’t make me get all educational about it, but I understand why you’d disagree with sacrificing yourself for us. I just wanted to get your perspective on this holiday.

Turkey: Well from my perspective, it isn’t all about zinc, potassium, vitamin B6 and blah blah blah all that other stuff. It’s all about being choked, feathers being plucked, and having my neckbone shoved up my ass! Then, to finish me off with a golden brown crisp. Doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun does it?  If it were up to me, I would hunt down humans and stick them in the center of a table for my family to gather around and see how you like it, but we are herbivores. Besides that, you humans eat way too much junk food and would not be healthy to eat, even for a pig!

Lanai:That wasn’t very nice Justin.

Turkey: What’s not nice is the annual roundup of my fellow feathered fowls...Lanai

Lanai: I guess you have a point. So what do you suggest we use as our main staple for Thanksgiving ?

Turkey: If I really had a say. I would suggest that nice stocky Amaretto horse over there! Let me make my case for your brutal holiday.  You can make horse bacon, ribs, scrapple, pony sausage, rump roast, horse shoulder, horse rinds, jerky and  stew. Do I need to go on? Don’t get me started on the breedable dragons and meeroos if you can catch one.

By this time all the Breedable animals gathered around to listen in…



Horse: Hold on a second Justin there is such a thing as turkey bacon just saying!  Remember you have to live here with us so be careful what you tell this nosy reporter.

Meerroos: Wait. What?

Justin the Turkey: I will peck both of your eyeballs out. Mind your own business. The way you both populate Second Life, you outta be the ones hunted!

Horse: Don’t make me come over there Justin.


Meeroos: pfft. *scurries off*

Justin the Turkey: Oh yea ponyboy? I got one thing to say! *points at the horses*  Lady,take your pick. Each one is at least 2,400 pounds of meat!

Lanai: Wooooah. Wait a minute.

Horse: *gives Justin the hoof and gallops off into the stable*


Chicken: Keep me and my chicks out of this conversation. This is the one day of the year that we get a break, so CLUCK OFF!

Justin the Turkey: Easy there feathered friend!  What’s one more day? Let’s not mention Football season and all the damn chicken wings these humans consume.

Lanai: OK, this is getting out of hand.  Let me just clear the air before a riot breaks out on this farm. I am just here to talk about Thanksgiving from a Turkey’s perspective.

Unknown animal in the crowd: You picked the wrong farm lady!

Lanai: Is that so? *smirks*

In the meantime, Justin the Turkey and his flock gets into an argument with the Horses and chickens while Lanai quietly backs out of the barn and starts the turkey deep fryer.



It is clear that an interview with a Turkey was not the best idea, especially on a farm where other disgruntled animals live just awaiting for consumption. However you celebrate Thanksgiving  be thankful for the animals who unwillingly sacrificed themselves for you.

Happy Thanksgiving SLE Fans!

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Talkin' Turkey... Where To Get Thanksgiving Dinner On SL - STACEY CARDALINES REPORTING

 


Thanksgiving is coming, and that means someone- maybe you- is hosting dinner. You get no sympathy from this journalist, who lives near Plymouth, Massachusetts in a town founded by Myles Standish. I host every year, no question. Big ol' Catholic family, too. Local turkeys know my name and fear me.

Cooking for crowds is always hectic and is rarely fun. All you can do is set out a ton of food and keep the alcohol flowing. That is how it works on SL, as well.

Avatars don't need to eat. We're not gigapets, and you could starve your avatar for years without her losing a pound. Eating is something you do for grins on SL. That said, you should try to do it well when you do it.

This goes double when it is Thanksgiving. You most likely eat with real people on Thanksgiving, but you may be on SL later in the day. You may even end up hosting an SL Thanksgiving party, and people coming to that party are going to be expecting turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce and all that other good stuff. You can f**k around on Easter and Christmas with roast beef or ham... but in November, you'd better be bringin' the Gobbler. If not, I can't even do business with you.

Since avatars don't need food, that leads to supply/demand problems when looking to layout a turkey dinner spread in your SL home or business. Even if you find a friggin' turkey, good luck finding butternut squash or green bean casserole. There may be a potato farm sim somewhere, and some other sim might have a cranberry bog, but you're eventually going to hit a wall somewhere on the menu if you try to score the ingredients individually.

Fortunately, the good people at the Food Connection have taken care of all that for you. You can go in, drop what I believe is 200 Ls and have a big huge table with all the Thanksgiving necessities. Turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, sweet potato pie, stuffing, some green thing that I assume is associated with Southern sorts of Thanksgiving, cranberry sauce, rolls, carrots and all the other stuff that Charlie Brown didn't come up with in his Thanksgiving special dinner.

Here's the address... Food Connection  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Depoz%20W/121/28/27

A few facts on certain Thanksgiving menu items that will let you DOMINATE the dinner table conversation:

- Turkeys are not indigenous to the nation of Turkey. They are native, and were at one time unique, to North America. The Spanish sold them to Arab merchants, and the bird was introduced to Europe via Turkish markets. They have been common holiday fare in Europe since The 1600s. In the classic story A Christmas Carol, Scrooge springs for a turkey as he redeems himself.

- "Cranberry sauce" is what John Lennon says at the end of Strawberry Fields Forever. He liked nonsense words in his song, and he thought "cranberry sauce" sounded funny. I have read that he detested the stuff. Many misheard the lyric as "I buried Paul," and the Paul Is Dead rumors gained steam.

- The Irish became so dependent on potatoes that, when a blight hit Irish spuds in the 1840s, the resulting famine killed 25% of the Irish population. 

- Stephen King originally handed his publisher a story called Children Of The Asparagus, but his agent talked him into using Corn. OK, I made that up.

- People in the southern US, bitter over losing the Civil War, viewed Pumpkin Pie as a symbol of Yankee culture and refused to serve it. Sweet Potato Pie was substituted into holiday menus in the former Confederate states.

- Green Bean Casserole was invented by the Campbell's Soup people and is the major mover of Cream of Mushroom Soup. Dorcas Riley headed the group that invented it. Cranberry Sauce was invented by Ocean Spray, a Massachusetts cranberry conglomerate. The same guy that introduced cranberry sauce to America also invented Cranapple and various cocktails such as the Cape Codder, the Madras, the Sea Breeze, the Cosmopolitan, and- no joke- roll-on deodorant.




- The original spread at the first Thanksgiving was waterfowl, venison, lobster, clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin, and squash. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving Observed in Second Life – Glossom Resident Reporting…



“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” - Cicero

Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. In the United States it is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November and in Canada is in the second Monday of October. It is also observed in Liberia, Puerto Rico, Norfolk Island and …in Second Life. This year the big day is November 28th.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

A Thousand And One Ways to Roast a Turkey: How do you Cook Yours? – Glossom Resident reporting…




Thanksgiving is one of the most celebrated holidays characterized by a gastronomic abundance and by a wealth of culinary traditions. It not only reflects the unique history of each cook, but also the rich diversity of America and beyond.

While the typical meal of the day consists of Thanksgiving nibbles such as turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, pies made from seasonal fruits and vegetables, among others, how these foods are interpreted depends largely on who's cooking. Different family traditions and regional flavors make the Thanksgiving meal unique.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, so it's time to get organized. Whip up your favorite recipes and get to work. But if you have not decided which Turkey recipe to use, we went around Second Life and asked some residents to share their own. Here are some mouth watering ways of cooking turkey to get you inspired. We would like to thank all who have shared their culinary secrets.

 
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