Second Life Do's and Don'ts - Seersha Heart reporting

I was having a conversation with someone new to SL recently.  She asked me why most of the material she pulled up via google was so dated.  I looked at some of her inquires and found out that much of the “how to get started” and basic etiquette of SL isn’t very recent.  In this article I have combined resources and asked my Facebook friends to help.  Thank you to those who offered suggestions of dos and don’ts.

Number one rule in SL; do not call SL a game.  It feels like a MMO, but it is like other social media.  There are no goals, no leaderboards it is a place to meet people or to create.  Go ahead and ask people in local sometime if SL is a game.  I guarantee a flurry of answers and opinions.  Every person in SL has an opinion on the topic of describing SL as a game.

Another basic rule to remember that immersion into the virtual grid is still a virtual experience.  You control your experience whether it is good, or it is not good.  If you don’t like a situation, you can always teleport out, turn off your computer; you are never ever someone’s prisoner unless you choose to be.   Even RLV* residents may power off, the ultimate control.  You may log into any location you wish.  If you left a bad area, relog at home or at a region of your choice.  I continue to hear stories from longtime residents who complain about their experiences in SL.  I complain about situations in sl to my friends and sometimes a stranger or two.  However, after some good old fashion whining it is time to take control of your sl life.

Here are some of the definite dos and don’ts I have written down to share.  We were all sl newbies at one time.  Reading these may remind you of your own experiences and make you cringe.

General
Let people know who your SL self is by customizing your profile and keep it current.  “Perving” profiles are a good way to make sure your profile is as you like it best.  Also Perving profiles is fun.
Try to glance at profiles before or while you are talking to someone.  This will give you their clues on what they enjoy in SL.
Learn some basic building skills such as how to rez a prim and to move an object.
Don’t beg for Lindens; there are ways to get some L inworld such as fishing.  There are also jobs inworld such as hosting for a DJ.
Don’t RLV if you don’t know what RLV means to your avatar.  Several CARP SIMs [Capture And Role Play] exist and you would be wise to avoid them unless you understand what may happen to you when you visit one of those SIMs.
There is a lot of free stuff.  The locations change but you can always ask around or use the SL search.

“Never play people! Sure, they're avatars... they're behind a computer screen halfway around the world... etc etc.
But, they're real people, real feelings, real reactions. Treat them as such”   - Harper

Interpersonal
Don’t be offended if someone you IM doesn’t respond.  They may already be in a conversation, or AFK or perhaps they don’t want to talk to new people.  It isn’t you so don’t dwell on it and move on to someone who wants to talk to you.
Don’t immediately send a friend request.  It is much politer to ask before friending someone.  It is also general practice to say thank you whether you sent the request, or the other person did.
Don’t be offended if someone you don’t really know unfriends you the next day.  This happens because if you ask someone “may I friend you” it is easier to say yes than to say no to a direct request.
Don’t be surprised if the female avatar you really fancy turns out to be played by a man (or the male avatar you fancy turns out to be played by a woman).
Don’t Demand Anything; voice, RL information.  You reveal what you wish on your profile or in interactions.  Just because you are comfortable discussing your RL or using voice don’t use that as a reason to demand those of other people.
Don’t forget that people can see where your cam unless you change your preferences.  Yes, men look up women’s skirts so wear underwear or a smile. 
Always walk around other avatars not through them.  Much as you would in RL.  You wouldn’t walk “through” someone at the mall.
Always move off a landing point...even if you haven’t rezzed.  Move to the side, get out of the way of the next person.

Some Notes on Nudity & Sex
Don’t go to G or M SIMs naked.  If you have trouble dressing, stay on Adult SIMs.  I know one attention seeking avi who never wears clothing but insists on visiting G and M SIMs.  This is just uncool and a form of griefing.
Don’t wear a Frenis; no none of them look good.  [ Free + Penis = Frenis] It doesn’t matter if the description says it is a good penis.  In sexual attachments you get what you pay for.  Frenis is a big running gag in world but you can find them any day.  Stop by OrGaSms, usually someone wearing one at that SIM.
Don’t send dick pics.  No one ever wants a texture of your RL penis or your SL penis.  Period.
Don’t use the pose balls you find in someone else’s home.  This is a big deal infringement for many people.  There are plenty of places with a lot of pose balls.  Go use those.
Don’t bug every female [or male] you meet for sex.  No doesn’t mean she wants to be persuaded it means NO.  And to the woman harassed this is a good time to TP away.
DO use CTRL ATL T to see if anyone is wearing a penis or other object and hiding it.  You will be surprised the first few times.

“There is no real privacy in SL, remember that”…. Inch Sideways

Land is a sacred place for most residents.  They choose who and when they interact with others while on their own land so:
Don’t be offended if you are ejected from someone’s land.
Don’t expect someone to engage in a conversation with you while they are on their land

Inventory
Emptying your trash will take something out of your inventory F O R E V E R.
Name your inventory pictures something meaningful to you so you know what they are later.
Ask around for hints on how to best organize your inventory, no one has an easy time with this task.  There is no one perfect answer.

Know your resources
Learn the preferences on your viewer or ask a friend for help.  Control your experience.
Don’t forget you can show pictures for free on your feed at secondlife.com
SL doesn’t end on the grid, we have bloggers, photographers, Facebook accounts and so on
Clothing and getting dressed; Never use “wear” always use “add”
Don’t let your groups get out of control; turn off notifications you don’t want to see.

A big don’t is age play.  While most understand this to be no sexual situations with child avis; many don’t understand what constitutes a child avi.  Some SIMs specific height, others may have a no child avi sign.  Generally speaking if your human avi is under 1.8m it will be considered a child by most.  If you want a short avi, be prepared to be reported a child avi in sexual situations.  Disclaimers in profiles are not a shield for this highly inappropriate behavior.  Don’t bother putting that you are “18 years old” if your avi is a child.  Readers if you witness age play please report it immediately.  If you click on the offending avi, you can report your suspicions to LL.  LL receives a picture, the location and all the details.  If you wonder if you should report it, the answer is yes.  LL is the one to investigate and make proper determinations.

Let’s talk about griefing.  Griefer activities take many varied forms.  The simplest definition is a resident who is in sl to disrupt or disturb others for their enjoyment.  There are groups that some residents belong to, so they make discuss griefing.  Most are familiar with “Classic Griefers” whose characteristics are:
Disturb others without physical contact:
abusing the message system, spamming advertisements, and similar
sexual messages or inappropriate dress on G or M SIMs
Pushing
The offending avi will push against you, bump you
Attacking land parcels or abusing protected areas with
Particles, sound or unwanted object

DO avoid “flatterbots”, “copybots”, ignore and block any avatar you suspect to not have a real person behind it.
Some residents take griefing to a higher and disturbing level.  They call themselves terrorists.  This group targets resources such as increasing lags, blocking traffic or use of replicants.  This group of individuals spend all their time griefing while developing new ways to disrupt the peace.  For more information on thefting scripts read this great article “Theft and Fraud in Second Life – Scripts that Steal – Dean Lawson reporting”

“A very common technique used by many griefers is to offer free products (inworld or on marketplace). When a resident purchases this and decides to rezz or wear it, the attack takes place. Rezzed object can be a replicant or can harass others (and the new owner) with messages. There have been reported cases when residents had to auto-return all objects on their land because they rezzed one small, invisible, self-replicative object that kept on sending chat messages and consumed all their land resources.” -Second Life Wiki

If you are concerned, reach out for some fantastic resources on how to best handle griefers.  Free on SL Marketplace you can find GreenZone HYPERLINK "https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/GreenZone-HUD/1849012" HUD for $0L.  This is designed to aid you and protect your privacy in SL from griefers.

The dos and don’ts in SL are ever changing like the landscape of all SL.  Remember at the end of the day it is always, your SL.

“Just don’t be a d**k”  - ChipaquamanGriefers are a small group of SL residents.  Most residents are thoughtful wonderful human beings pursuing their interests peacefully.  Griefers frequent particularly vulnerable areas and vulnerable people [such as newbies].

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Trying out an SL Pregnancy : One Woman’s Story” - “Seersha Heart

Seersha Heart: I’ve been a resident of SL for a few years now.  I have never investigated SL pregnancy or had any close friends who experienced one.  I know I have a couple friends with kids, yet I could not tell you if they started at pregnancy or began with children.  Pregnancy is big business in SL, there are a multitude of resources available.  It can be relatively inexpensive or costly.  Much like an SL wedding, you decide your investment.  This story is one woman’s experience from conception to birth using the Mama Allpa birth system. 
The mother to be is has never tried an SL pregnancy.  For this story I recruited Durn for many reasons.  She is a honeypot of a gal with a salacious appetite for carnal pleasures.  I gifted her with a Mama Allpa female system and marked off the calendar.  I made notes of conversations with Ms. Durn.  Her opinions are all her own.  Here is her story;

Durn: I can be a bit of a party girl.  I make no apologies for making the most of my social life here in SL.  I knew that Seersha was working on something with SL pregnancies.  Most of what she works on is pretty interesting.  I saw a chance to participate so I volunteered.  It's not as if I will get stretch marks right?
I began this story by putting on the Mama Allpa and wearing it as I experienced a ‘normal’ week.  I didn’t read up about it, just added the HUD and took off.  I decided to begin by visiting the Mama Allpa main store.  Wow what a hookup place!!  My IMs lit up before I rezzed all the way.  There are men there wanting all kinds of things.  And wearing black, showing off one's chest is a rather frequent occurrence.

Some are not my thing.  There was a man there who asked me if I ever thought of becoming a horse.  Apparently, he wanted to mate me in horse form.  He was quite polite about it when I told him that no I didn’t want to be a horse.  Another interesting character was a man RPing a priest.  I admit to spending a little time with him to see what his ‘rp’ was about.  I will tell you more about the priest later.  There was a man there who wanted me to let his friend get me pregnant while he watched.  I’ll call him Military man.  He wanted me to insult him and to demean him as his friend was impregnating me.  I would like to say Horse, Priest and Military were the most unusual men I met there yet that would be a lie.
I met a couple nice and sweet men too.  One man, Ken, IMed me that he wanted to find a “one man” woman and settled down with her.  He confessed that he did not seem to be meeting family-oriented women at the clubs he visited, and a friend suggested he try this location.  I hope Ken found someone nice to settle down with in SL.
For me, no judgement here, the most unusual was a half man half demon that is hung like a horse.  He doesn’t bother getting dressed.  Watson, yes, I thought it was a strange name for a man/demon too, made his avi.  Impressive and large, his sole purpose in SL was to spend his time recruiting slaves and other women who wanted to be “breeders”.  He offered to make me a “treasured” pet but I passed on the offer.  There are several men who visit this location who desire to make as many women pregnant as possible.  I never found out why.

One day, not long after I added the HUD, I noticed that I was pregnant.  Just like that, I clicked on the HUD and my status was pregnant.  The only candidates for baby daddy are men wearing the corresponding Mama Allpa male HUD.  The baby daddy?  This is where my story gets funnier.  There were three possible candidates, Priest, Military and an up and comer I will call Deadbeat.    I wasn’t quite sure which it was, you may be impregnated without having sex.  All you need to do is be close to the person and exchange HUD info.  Since I wanted to get pregnant fast I pretty much took any opportunity.  Sometimes proximately, sometimes the old fashioned fun way.  I did not keep track of who and when.  I thought the HUD will tell me who the daddy was.  I was wrong.  To determine baby daddy, the daddy must be within 10 meters of me while I am tested.
The first 10-meter test was for Military man.   I had my fingers crossed for him.  A bit kinky but very nice guy.  He was not “the guy”, the daddy.  I was sure it would be the Priest or the Deadbeat.  It just so happened that I spent time with them both on the day I believed to be the day of conception.  Deadbeat daddy showed up for the test.  As you probably figured out already, Deadbeat turned out to be my baby daddy.  The baby was a boy!  The Priest was disappointed.  An ironic turn of events, the Priest asked me if I would get an abortion, so he could make me pregnant.  At this point I was pretty done with hanging with the studs at main store.
Now that I was pregnant there were things to consider.  To me, the most important was my shape.  My landlady made a nursery for me in my skybox, so I was free to spend my time figuring out these details.  I decided to design my own shape using the measurements on existing shapes.  I also decided to update my shape at each four-week mark.  I learned I was pregnant at 10 weeks so that is where I began.
Now, after the fact, I started reading a bit about SL pregnancy.  I visited a couple clinics.  I wondered what the baby daddy did in this relationship.  Turns out my baby daddy didn’t even IM me once after.  Being industrious, I made #1 Deadbeat Dad signs with his picture and passed them to all my friends.  I had other men step forward offering to RP the daddy role.  I decided to just see what happened.  I sent the baby daddy a present.  A kiosk from marketplace of a book titled “Having a Baby in SL Guidebook”.  I found the best source of information to be mid-wives and doctors at the clinics.  Everyone I spoke to was super friendly.

Clock started, and life goes on in SL.  When I hit my 30th week, I was feeling a bit curious.  Happy with my shape design, I decided to visit the main store location again.  Who was standing there where I met him?  You guessed it; Baby daddy.  He didn’t even notice me there which worked well for me as I didn’t want to continue a relationship with him.  I planned to stay a few minutes.  I wanted to see how people would react to pregnant me.  I was chatted up quite a bit.  Mostly the same kinds of men as before.  Some getting their kink on and some wanting a relationship.
At this point, since I really wasn’t into family life in SL, I started getting bored.  My clothes didn’t fit well, and I was running out of ways to shock and to surprise people.  That had been my main source of fun during the “weeks” of pregnancy.  By shock, I mean showing up at an ex boyfriend’s DJ gig.  He got a kick out of it.  By surprise, I mean just being in SL and pregnant.  People act differently around you.  It was interesting to see how people behaved.  The strangest reaction was when I donned a formal gown with my big round belly and showed up at a popular club.  Suffice to say I have never seen any pregnant women there and I won’t say the club name.

Birth time rolled around quickly after that slow part in the middle.  I wanted a birth partner and Seersha said she would be it.  I picked out a clinic, a birth method and all the extras.  In the end I decided I did not want to simulate birth.  I’m a simple gal.  In the end I just changed my shape back to “normal”.  The baby is nestled in inventory.

Seersha Heart: Thank you for all your energy, Durn.  I feel like you aren’t telling the full story of the people you met at main store.  Care to elaborate?

Durn: Hmmm…I won’t tell details of the people who were nice folks just wanting to experience an SL pregnancy.  I met several of those.  I will say I was surprised at how many men stake out the main store location.

Seersha Heart: Would you do it again?  Get pregnant?

Durn: Anything is possible.  I am not planning it now, but I am like SL.  Things change a lot.

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Romancing Bogart’s – Living History at Frank’s - “Seersha Heart

I made the mistake of writing that Bogart’s had closed in Ballrooms : Where the Romance Lives last week.  My error was in using an old landmark and not following up.  I confess that when I thought Bogart’s had gone, I felt very sad and not on my game.  Imagine my surprise, my embarrassment and my sheer delight at learning Bogart’s was alive and well.  Only shifted a bit on the grid to Franks Place region. It is all too easy to assume that a club is “gone” since many clubs do come and go in SL.  Bogart’s is part of something much bigger, an SL Icon, Frank’s. Caught with my pants down on this one, I sincerely apologize for writing that Bogart’s had closed.  As you may read here, Frank’s is a place that grows, it doesn’t close.

When I first moved to SL a few years ago, I loved to dress up in gowns.  Most of the formal clubs I visited where couples oriented at that time. I wanted to have a place go where I would feel comfortable visiting as a single person.  Of course, I wanted to wear a gown! At this point in my SL life, I would wear a gown everywhere and I mean everywhere! Searching through destinations I found the club Bogart’s and the name instantly caught my eye.  Changing from one gown to another, I set off to see what Bogart’s club looked like and the crowd that hung out there for the dancing. The landing point is a short stroll from the entrance and there are upscale shops along the walk.  I crossed the small park and looked up at the marquee “BOGART’S”. Going inside I was greeted by a hostess very stylishly. She called me by my surname and pointed out the upcoming schedule and the chilled champagne. Walking deeper into the club the room opens, the ceiling several meters above my head.  The stage is large and colorful. I would later learn that the appearance periodically changes. The room is inviting in rich reds and golds throughout.

I have had the pleasure of meeting people at Bogart’s.  Both men and women appear well dressed and ready to dance providing an opportunity to meet new people.  I’ve attended some very enjoyable events over the years. In 2016 the Sl Enquirer featured Bogarts as one of the top five SL date locations sharing…

“This SL long running classic has shopping and a park on your walk to the club.  Dress is cocktail to formal.  You land down the block from the club and walk up to the dramatic facade of the building.  The marquee proudly proclaims, “Romance is in the Air” and it most certainly is in Bogarts.  Walking inside the first set of doors, scheduled activities are listed to your left by the elevator.  Going further inside to the main room it has the feeling of an elegant theatre with high ceilings and a stage with ornate golden trim at one side.

The color scheme is rich reds and golds throughout.  You will be greeted as “Mr.” or “Ms.” by what I feel are the best hosts and hostesses in SL.  They make you feel welcome and have that breezy air about that may be best described as elegant fun.  The DJs are equally top notch.  Requests are played quickly and as a dedication or a request.  Imagine requesting a romantic Norah Jones song and dancing with your date.”

Amazingly Bogart’s has not strayed from this level of style and service.  I remember fondly when chatting Huckleberry Hax about various dating locations in SL.  We spoke of a couple of different stops and then Huck gave me a quote that truly fits; “Good old Bogart’s”

I could not have phrased it better or more succinctly.  Maybe you will sit down at one of the cozy tables off the dance floor and get to know someone new.  I have met many people at Bogart’s and shared a dance or two with some new-found friends. Bogart’s is not a ‘hookup’ joint, though I suspect there are hookups [it IS SL], it is a place you return to many times.  It is the place I fell in love with the melodic sound of Nora Jones as well as older rat pack jazz favorites. Bogart’s is part of the most popular jazz complexes in SL Frank’s.

Frank’s began as a jazz club for with a formal dress code.  These days Frank’s has expanded to five regions and become an entire entertainment complex.  The formal dance and jazz club has bloomed into more clubs and shopping.  Elegant and welcoming Bogart’s is a top place to take a date.

“Fly me to the moon; Let me play among the stars; Let me see what spring is like; On a-Jupiter and Mars…”

-written by Howard Bart; remembered thanks to Frank Sinatra

Additional Information:

Bogart’s

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Franks%20Place/109/128/24

Frank’s Entertainment Complex

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Franks%20Place%202/242/130/24

L&B at the Galleria [Landmark and Teleport]:

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Franks%20Place/231/152/24

Photos by Karmaghna Ulrik  

https://www.flickr.com/photos/140164441@N08/

A side note, Huckleberry Hax is both my unrequited crush & talented author of the SL Book Series AFK, which you may obtain for free at his web site.  Check it out; you will not be disappointed.

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“Town of Stepford – a Dolcett based, EXTREME adult fantasy - Seersha Heart reporting

******ADULT CONTENT WARNING******

Who can resist clicking where they see the word "cannibalism" on a web page?  I am a mainland resident in SL, and I have a nifty police bot which emails me info of the people who visit my parcel.  I frequently read the profiles of my visitors. One day a woman visited my parcel who used the term “Dolcett Girl” to describe herself.  This was a new term to me. I went down the rabbit hole to satisfy my curiosity.

A French Canadian artist, Dolcett [an anonymous name he uses], draws comic fetish pictures of extreme acts of violence in black and white.  Most often these pictures are of a Dolcett girl being roasted alive on a spit.  Dolcett issued a public statement about his art saying "I must repeat that these are pure fantasy. I am against real violence of any kind."  The Dolcett girl lives in a Dolcett world where women’s feelings about being a meal range from “fatalistic to enthusiastic”. 

The Dolcett girl is the main character of many fanfiction stories on the web.  She is Caucasian, thin, blonde or brunette. She usually has a backstory as a student or a professional.  In almost every story she dies at the end by being a meal, cooked or impaled, sometimes hung. A stand out feature of this RP is that she is a volunteer victim.  There is considerable interest in how she feels about each step of the process of her torture and eventual death.  Sometimes the Dolcett girl is herself a cook and aids in the preparation of cooking and preparing herself for consumption.

As with most SL residents, it is hard to surprise me.  The existence of the practice of Dolcett in SL was not surprising.  My personal interest in the topic would have ended at this point if not for the discovery of a most interesting little hamlet.  This hamlet is a surprising and interesting place to visit.  It is the Town of Stepford. In SL there are at least two towns using the name Stepford, one is very unusual under the surface. I wanted to know more about the residents of a Dolcett SIM.  It is with mixed emotion that I first visited “Dolcett ~ Town of Stepford ~ Some Place Not So Innocent”.  “The Town of Stepford is a Dolcett based, EXTREME adult fantasy roleplay community - where the creative, kinky, nasty, twisted and talented play!”

I changed to my male ALT avi for my first trip. He is a well-behaved observer around the grid and rarely approached with IMs, a perfect reporters tool.  I landed next to a cornfield across the river from the main town. There is an excellent detailed city map and bikes to rez for the traveler who doesn’t want to walk.  My first time to Stepford, I walked across the bridge and into the town. I think I was subconsciously expecting Hannibal Lecter to jump out from behind a bush or a building.  I have visited Stepford on several occasions researching this story as both male and female.  I have never been harassed or bothered in any fashion.  They are cannibals, not thoughtless, rude or surly as often portrayed by the media.  Most in Stepford are perfectly pleasant neighborly and friendly if not a bit shy.

Stepford is not a Hannibal Lecter kind of a town. There are no dark alleys, no aggressive RP….Stepford is a sleepy 1950s era town, both peaceful and lovely.  When entering Stepford, the first buildings are a medical clinic and the police station on the left then the church on the right.  All of the buildings are arranged around a town park, old-fashioned with playground equipment, PG cuddle blankets and barbeque items. One one side of the park is a cabaret theatre. Easy to use 1950s era cars are parked along the road.  I have driven a couple of them, and they are easy to handle. The crown jewel of the town is the Stepford Diner. Family Diner is open 24 hours.  I spend one Sunday morning at the park hanging around listening and talking to other residents.  The park is an informal area of chatting, flirting, and making plans for a possible barbeque later in the day.  To the casual stranger, the group looks very much like any other group standing around an adult SIM in SL.  Various levels of dress, different styles of avis and a lot of chatter.

As a guest to any SIM, you should be polite.  If you tend towards griefing, or trolling or any other negative behavior, you will not be welcome in Stepford.  They are cannibals, not impolite.  If you are interested in the lifestyle or the residents or merely curious, the diner is the place to spend your time.  It is ground zero here for all kinds of hookups.

Stepford is a very peaceful community with friendly residents.  A town allowing participants to pursue their fantasies online via what is called “extreme RP”.  If you fantasize about something, anything, you will find it somewhere in SL.  For the cannibal that that means different types of practices and forms of societal structures.  Yes, the Town of Stepford is only one town of cannibals on the grid.  Stepford adheres to the structures and the inspirations of Dolcett.

Among the buildings are a hotel, a butcher shop and an old-fashioned drive-in theater.  The hotel is a staple of sex communities, and this one is conveniently located next to the diner.  The butcher shop here is a campy old-fashioned shop. Instead of a cow’s body on the wall divided into the various sections of meat; there is a crawling woman. 

Some residents will walk around with these markings tattooed on their skins, their bodies as if ready to be butchered. Men as meals are rarer.  I met two in Stepford, one who considers himself and "extreme" sub residing part-time in Gor.  The other man a nice southern gentleman who may be the chef or the meal.

This Town is full of campy 1950s references and props.  If you visit, try not to miss the drive-in movie theater complete with 1950s cars and a fully detailed area.  You can even drive the cars out of the theater.  The detail that is crafted into the buildings and the surroundings is some of the best you can find in SL.  Poses and animations are equally imaginative though clearly designed with the Dolcett practices in mind.  The church is aptly named "St. Karyn of the Last Supper”.

Inside the church, there is a classroom to learn to become a butcher or a chef of the cannibal culinary.  Various residents are genuinely into their RP characters.  The church has a couple of different RPers that frequently are inside or near the building.  I met one of the pastors, a very charming man.  I've noticed that women who are unowned or curious walk between the church and the diner.  At the church, these women can find a slower paced initiation into the RP.  Churches are helpful places, and Stepford's is no exception.  The Diner is a freer format with various RP occurring often concurrently.  Many of the interactions are performed in local.  It is easy to sit back in the diner and listen to someone’s RP scenario play out.

“No, no, no I'm not satisfied

Can't there be - more to life

I can't see - reasons why”  Fine Young Cannibals "I'm Not Satisfied."

I’ve met people from all over the world in Stepford.  I have met a good amount of people who speak French in Stepford, most likely as Dolcett is also French.  Since I am studying French irl, this is a handy if not unusual place to practice some of my words and phrases.

Mangez bien, riez souvent, aimez beaucoup means: "Eat well, laugh often, love abundantly."

I found that many of those visiting Stepford were classic avatars.  I found this puzzling as if one were going to have a meal, and I would think a nice mesh body would be fine dining.  <<chuckles>> Yet very few of the men or the women are all mesh.  This gives an interesting effect to those of us who are all mesh and bento; another worldly exotic floating among the residents.  Those regular residents who have taken the time to craft a seductive mesh body stand out in the small crowd.  Yes, I am biased; I have a deeply seated fear of the "cankle".  I blame this fear on the postings of a good friend who now no longer possesses cankles, Toysolder Thor well known SL artist and an all around good guy.  He used to possess some of the worst cankles…but I digress… [see below for definition of cankle]  I soon found out the allure of the classic avi here in Stepford; many of the RP tattoos are designed for the classic body.

One of my favorite residents to watch is a wonderfully crafted female Neko alien.  Frequently in residence, she seems to float from place to place town with an ephemeral presence.  One evening I saw her set out in the diner on one of the tables dressed and ready to be dinner.  Respecting the residents, I did not engage or impose myself or my questions on others.  During a visit, there were always questions in my head.  Usually, answers presented themselves, or a resident would approach me for a conversation.  As always, the best way to learn about a SIM or the residents is to sit down, be quiet, to watch, to listen and be a good OOC resident.

I learned a great deal in my trips to the town of Stepford.  Stepford made me realize that we all assume the people around us conform to similar social norms.  I may very well have a friend or two that has a cannibal fantasy. This is the kind of deep dark secret that one person would not share with another person easily.  SL is the kind of place where you can find places to share those deep dark secrets with similar people. The town of Stepford is only one of those places on the grid.  The residents of Stepford are people like the ones I encounter at any other area of SL; diverse. The Town of Stepford looks peaceful and innocent, like any town USA in the 1950s.  It is the way people try to behave all over SL.  On the surface, ‘normal’, like all the others; yet beneath “someplace not so innocent”.

I have left Stepford for the next story.  Though not interested in this RP, I leave finding myself sympathetic to the residents.  They are harassed and judged much more harshly than many other extreme RP SIMs.  Yet they are on their SIM practicing what is the essence of SL; their desires, their roleplay.  At the end of the day, a Dolcett girl, a butcher or a chef is enjoying their RP with other consenting adults.  Though you might have a different ‘diet’ for your SL, you probably want the same basic result; a place to explore your fantasy without judgement.  If a SIM offends you; leave.  Today I have pulled up stakes and moved my focus to another SIM now.  No teaser for the reader only this; every place in SL has a story if you sit still and let it come to you.

Photos by Karmaghna Ulrik

My favorite topic related quotes:

”The truth is not for everyone.” ― From A Carnivore’s Inquiry by Sabina Murray

“If abortion is murder then blowjobs are cannibalism.” ― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert

“But if you're gonna dine with them cannibals; Sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten . . .” ― Nick Cave

>>Cankle; “where the calf meets the foot in an abrupt, non-tapering terminus;” "a swollen ankle that blends into the calf without clear demarcation."

SURL for the Town of Stepford

[Dolcett and cannibal - a 1950's town dedicated to dolcett devices - bdsm... A dolcett community]

secondlife://PORTEN%20HILL/10/223/29

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“Surfers’ Bay - You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf….- Seersha Heart

Persia Bravin: “I wanted it to feel like logging into a vacation “

It is Wednesday lunch time when I decide to go in world for a bit of personal rest& relaxation.  As I load up my viewer, I am humming Rupert Holmes’ song Escape.  A very beachy tune with a lot of action happening in the dunes of the cape.  This song always makes me think of the beach.  When I come in world tonight, I want to go to the beach to escape the stresses of rl and have a bit of fun.  I recently joined the Surfer’s Bay VIP Group in world.  In my first couple of weeks as a member I had learned that surfing is not only the actual act of riding a wave on a board but also a life style.  Persia Bravin and her partner Duncan Blackburn have opened a spectacular new surfing SIM.

Kick off your shoes and wander down the beach with me here at Surfers’ Bay.  The sounds of the ocean are soothing, the waves are ready and waiting.  I recommend a nice walk around the island.  The main social area has plenty of places to sit and relax.  You can sit on the beach on a towel, a chair or float in the water on nice large floats.  What is Persia Bravin trying to create here?  I joined her at the club for lunch one day last week to see what she had to reveal to us.  She told me that RL is hard enough, this is a place to escape those stresses.  “So, log in, escape and enjoy fellow SLers” Persia says with a wry smile.

Taking a stroll around the island the aspect I most enjoy is the ambient sounds.  The sounds of surf and gulls will take your mind to the ocean as you stroll.  Our first stop is a handy rez station.  We can rez a surf board or a jet ski.  The jet ski is HUD operated and easy to use.  I have taken a jet ski around the entire island, it is possible, and it is fun.  A little bit further down the beach you will see Orchid Island off to our left.  A particularly romantic scene, this island rests in constantly swirling sea water, white caps crashing along a worn stair case.  At the top of the stairs is a view of the ocean and a private place to spend some time along or with that special someone.

I asked Persia about the name “Orchid Island”, where did she come up with that name?  She told me that initially she didn’t quite know what to do with the island claiming it “came out of nowhere”.

Persia Bravin: I wanted somewhere small and peaceful.  I love orchids rl and a friend of mine who makes really good sl plants just came out with some. He sent the orchids to me, so it made sense.  It also runs with the Bali theme

Surfer’s Bay is chock full of spots such as this one.  There are all kinds of romantic stops with any animation you might wish to enjoy.  There is deck in a lagoon of the most beautiful turquoise water you have ever seen.  On this deck is a large round chair.  I take a seat in the chair and find out, like most of the island, I have many options. 

Along with all the couples poses you could ever need, you will find the playful poses too.  In one lagoon there is a platform with several poses for the single traveler including treading water and jumping off the platform into the water.  The island has been designed with a weaving of rock and of sand throughout.  Stone staircases, decking and platforms appear exactly where needed.  The furniture is strategically placed throughout with both the single and the couple in mind.  At many areas of the SIM I feel as if I entered a nice quiet private place.  As if it is designed with me in mind.

There is a double diving board jutting out into the ocean.  I have seen people hanging out on the diving boards chatting up a storm.  The boards are dramatic and tower well above the ocean.  The diving is outstanding.  Nearby there is a spot where elegant comfortable cream-colored sofas sit on a floating dock waiting to be used.  I see a man standing there on the dock looking out to sea.  The people you encounter are friendly.  He sends me an IM telling me I “improve the view”.  I smile and thank him as I continue this stroll.  Almost directly opposite of the main social beach area I find a picturesque swimming pool. 
The pool provides a swim HUD, it works well there and at other points on the SIM.  It is hard to imagine that this Island is only three months old.  The group already has 5000 members and I expect to see a lot more.  I traveled to ten other surf SIMs to research what one might expect to see at a surfing SIM.  While there are a few nice ones, no surf SIM captures as many amenities as Surfer’s Bay.  Surfer’s is a place you will want to visit every day.  If you want to own your own surf board, there is an unobtrusive shopping area a short walk from the beach with surfboards on sale for men and women made by regular a surfer on the sim - Guyot Habana. 

Persia is a charming and a laid back surfer.  I asked her a few more questions for the prospective members of Surfers’ Bay VIP Group.  Here is the conversation:

Seersha Heart: Are you a member of the SL Surfers Association?

Persia Bravin: I have been a member of the SLSA since 2008 – it’s one of the organisations that I have never left or discarded to make room for other groups.  The SLSA is a stalwart of the SL surfing community; they provide competitions and support for surfers and surf owners and do a lot of work to promote surfing as a sport across SL.

Seersha Heart: Do you or will you host “Pro” surf events?

Persia Bravin: Surfer’s Bay VIP is about the fun and non-competitive aspects of SL surfing. It’s a sim for true ‘soul surfers’ or those people that simply enjoy the sensation of paddling out and taking on the huge Maoli waves and we love welcoming newcomers to SL surfing too. There is a hardcore group of surfers that you will see hitting the waves here on most days and they always give their time to coach others. We are considering becoming a destination for future, larger surfing events though – watch this space!

Seersha Heart: How do you track how members feel about the SIM?

Persia Bravin: The Surfer’s Bay VIP group chat is always buzzing with thoughts and suggestions from our thousands of members and we do listen carefully to all feedback. We don’t have a formal suggestion process currently – although that might be something we could implement in the future – but all ideas from our members are welcomed and usually implemented immediately!

Seersha Heart: Any good stories to share about couples who may have met at Surfers’?

Persia Bravin: When we created the sim, we definitely wanted to impart a sense of romance, but not in the traditional way, but rather through lush planting, naturalistic scenery and plenty of areas where you can be alone with loved ones. Romance does bloom at the sim and I am pretty sure many couples have met there! I also love to see all the different friendships develop: Surfer’s Bay VIP truly is a meeting place for people across the world. Who knows…maybe we will host a wedding one day of a couple that fell in love here.

Coming soon to Surfers’ Bay are well known SL performers Jack Slade on August 4th and Max Kleen on August 18th.  Join the crowd at Surfers’ Bay and enjoy some music while you look out on some beautiful waves.

SURL: secondlife://HIDDEN%20VALLEY/138/177/22
Surfer’s Bay VIP Group
https://www.flickr.com/groups/surfersbayvip/

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