Interview with Cupid 2023 - Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

It has been a couple of years since I last spoke to Cupid. I heard through the grapevine that he was arrested for lacing his arrows with a bad batch of Amortentia; the most powerful love potion in the world. Its effects cause month-long erections, hirsutism, and a significant increase in the prim population in Second Life. The downside to that is an epidemic of single mothers raising prim babies with facial and chest hair. After researching the decline of weddings and engagements on the grid I decided to take action and set up a booth at local SL Job Fairs in search of this year’s Cupid.  Out of 4,321 applicants I was able to narrow it down to three who barely qualified for the position. One failed the arrow shooting test at the range due to his lingering vertigo and the other failed his background check due to a stalking and harassment charge at a local drag joint. The remaining candidate was the best I can do so he was hired without a drug test because I felt he might fail.

I met up with him at an NA meeting where I sometimes volunteer as a sponsor to discuss the position and learn more about him and his skills in the love department.

Interview with Cupid 2023

Lanai: Hi Bob, or should I address you as Cupid contingent upon the outcome of this job interview? Thank you for meeting with me for this very important job.

Cupid 2023: Hi Lanai, I have heard so much about you. I doubt it's true about you being the Godmother to an SL Mafia family, the biggest heartbreaker in Second Life, or that you once sucked a watermelon through a straw. I’m so glad you can meet me here. The house arrest ankle bracelet I’m wearing should be removed just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Lanai: Let me guess... You’ve been watching Fox News…. They have been trying to take me down for years. Fake news. Keep my family out of this… I’m totally offended being called a heartbreaker and the watermelon incident was a pink cocktail with Vodka in it. I was at a baby shower for crying out loud!… Anyway. I’m meeting you here today for your official interview for the position of Cupid so let's get down to business. Can you define love?

Cupid 2023: Well… it can vary in meaning. For some, love means being taken care of emotionally, financially, and of course in the bedroom, and for others it is a common adoration between two people that goes deep down into the soul. Money and materials don’t matter. The latter seems to be the stereotypical gold digger, sugar baby type.

Lanai: Well said. How do you feel about the current climate in Second Life when it comes to romance, relationships, and things to do?

Cupid 2023: It has been a long time since I’ve been on a real date and I know Onlyfk, Feeld, and Tinder dating apps don't really count. Unless you are looking for a quick fix and a free meal, I may need some training…

Lanai: Yes, I agree. Let me give you a crash course on Romance and love and what women really want. She wants to be heard and not just listened to like a song on the radio. It’s the lyrics that count not the beat. She also wants to feel protected. There is a fine line between protection and controlling someone. To protect someone is to care about their whole well-being and do what you can to make that person feels safe and secure. Controlling is a way to manipulate someone into believing you need them when in fact most women are very capable of handling their own business without a man. The beautiful thing about romance and love is that both have a connection that feels out of this world and the respect and responsibilities of keeping each other happy, safe and secure are placed in both their hands. Once respect is lost, trust becomes an issue that will ultimately dissolve that true feeling of love.  Not even flowers and candy can bring back the romance. Soul mates are a thing; when you find “the one”, it's an unconditional love that will last for eternity. Every flaw or difference is accepted and there are no unachievable expectations. That is the purest form of love. As far as romantic destinations, they can be anywhere that prohibits child avies and animals in my opinion.

Cupid 2023: I’m in awe at just how brilliant you are. So, why are you single?

Lanai: Hey! I’m interviewing you. But to answer that. No one really knows my personal Slife aside from a handful of close friends. Let’s just say my current situation is complicated. My psychotherapist insists I have Philophobia. So anyway, are you a good shot?

Cupid 2023: That’s fair. I won't meddle.  As in shot….do you mean money shots or….

Lanai: No You buffoon!  I meant with a bow and arrow… 

Cupid 2023: Oh right. I once shot a bow at a Kids' Archery camp. It didn't end well and I was sent home. I feel justified in saying the bully had it coming and now he walks with a gangster lean.

Lanai: You do know this is a job interview right? I’ll pretend I didn't hear that. *slides an envelope over to him* In that envelope is a printout with a scan code to redeem six archery lessons on me. It was a great deal on Groupon. Don’t disappoint me.

Cupid 2023: You are very generous. I appreciate this opportunity and promise to spread the love and romance in Second Life for Valentine’s Day!

Lanai: *leans in and whispers* Make sure that you do, I’ve hired a backup if things don’t work out and he doesn't shoot arrows…  

Cupid 2023: *looks at the hitman standing behind Lanai* *gulps* When do I start?

Lanai: February 14th *slides him a briefcase* Here is your assignment...  *gets up, and walks away*

Sorry folks, this is the best Cupid I could find for the job. 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Read More

HELLO TO HOLLYWOOD: WAARHEID, SL's SECOND FULL-LENGTH MOVIE OPENS TO CRITICAL ACCLAIM – JOSH (THOMAS1 BELLIC), REPORTING.

SecondLife is a Virtual World, created entirely by its residents.  Some residents express their creativity by building lands and homes; others by creating clothing designs and fashions that rival anything found on the runways of Milan.  Still, others express their creativity through interpersonal relationships or images, or music.  

Every once in a long while, someone comes along who combines all those forms of creativity into a full-length motion picture that rivals many of the animated feature films to come out of Hollywood.

My guest today is SL-renowned author and filmmaker, Huckleberry Hax.  I caught up with Mr. Hax at his home, where he graciously agreed to share with our SL Enquirer audience a behind-the-scenes look into the making of his second full-length feature film, WAARHEID. 

Josh (Thomas1 Bellic) JB: What made you decide to make a movie in SL

Huckleberry Hax (HH):  WAARHEID is actually my second feature-length movie. I released my first - STÖMOL - in July 2020 and it went on to come second place in the SUPERNOVA digital animation film festival. There was a bit of a twist ending to that movie and quite a few people asked me for a sequel. I wasn't planning on creating one initially, but I quickly changed my mind. The broader answer to your question, though, is that I love creating stories. I've written a number of novels set in Second Life, so a movie that used it as a platform for animation seemed like a great idea to me. Also, I'd been playing around with virtual photography for a number of years and wanted to see if I could apply what I'd learned through that to a movie format.

JB: Without giving too much away, what is WAARHEID about?

HH:   WAARHEID's a science fiction movie set in a time when the climate has collapsed, and knowledge and information is tightly controlled by the ruling conglomerate government. One of the mechanisms for this control is through 'official history' - a fiction created by the Cong to obscure from people the reality of what has happened to the planet. In the previous movie, a guy called Epi Stömol snatched a couple of young coders who were able to access old media files rendered obsolete by the Cong's 'digital hygiene' policy. He also betrayed Erika Janssen AKA Waarheid - the 'Truth Hunter.' Now she wants her revenge.

JB:Interesting premise for a movie.  I can’t wait to read the novel. ☺  So tell us, how long did this project take?

HH:We started filming in August 2020 and the final touches were made to the film about a week before release in December 2022 - so, 28 months all in.

JB: Who were some of your chief collaborators in this project?

HH: I was assisted throughout by Caitlin Tobias, my assistant director. She also plays the main character of Waarheid. The movie co-stars AvaJean Westland, who played Totuus - a hacker for an underground history movement. My other actors included Strawberry Singh, Ylva, Boudicca Amat, Lydia Lindemann, and Mich Michabo. The movie also features original music from my long-term RL buddy, G J Hicks. My friend, Dizi, designed three of the avatars in the movie (Epi Stömol, Belletristik, and the 'Rachel' avatar she uses for her own brief role). Then there's a huge list of other people, including short parts, movie extras, and the sim/installation owners who made their spaces available to me to film in. And let's not forget all the content creators whose content was used in some way - that list would be endless!

JB: I guess that list would be pretty lengthy at that.  Making a Full-length Movie is quite an undertaking.   Have you, or any of your crew, had experience in the Film industry before this project?

HH: AvaJean is an actor in RL who's had many TV roles, but other than that no. The main thing I bring to this is my history of storytelling and, um, watching movies!

JB: Do you have another movie in mind?  A Sequel, perhaps?

HH:    There are no plans for a sequel to WAARHEID at the moment, no. I do have a new machinima project in mind that I hope to start work on later this year, though it will be a mini-series rather than a movie. I want to try out something different!

JB: What an amazingly complex project, requiring graphic artists, voice actors, multiple characters, scriptwriters, Recording artists, the whole bit.  How were you able to assemble such a diverse crew of specialists to help produce this Movie?

HH: Mostly these are friends of mine in my SL and RL. It's really just a question of getting to know people's strengths and talents, how they might be used (for example, what roles they might be suited to) and what comfort zones they might be nudged just a little outside of where needed. For the role of Totuus, we needed someone new so I put out a casting call on my blog back in May 2021 and we were delighted to audition AvaJean and then offer the role to her.

JB: Did you receive any support or assistance from Linden Labs on this project?

HH: Yes. Lindens were really happy with the movie when I showed them a preview copy back in October last year. They offered to host an inworld premiere at the Film Threat cinema, which was attended by over 100 people on 15 December - it was an amazing evening! They also did a lot of promotion of the film, including via their social media and an episode of LabGab where Cait, AvaJean, and I were interviewed by Strawberry.

JB: Interesting the parallels between Inversum, and SecondLife, especially when the protagonist was explaining why people would want to spend time there.  I like how you addressed what motivates people to visit Inversum…and as a parallel, SecondLife.

HH: And to some extent some of the things being said more broadly about the 'metaverse' in the present mainstream discourse. Though I was less trying to make any sort of specific statement about virtual worlds per se than I was using the Inversum as a metaphor for the narratives and mistruths we're sold by both government and big corporations (hence the 'government' of this world being a 'conglomerate' - it's a commercial organization taking on a governing role). An important tactic that one of the Cong characters in the movie uses to try to persuade Waarheid that his version of history is the more useful one is to claim that it will benefit the poor and the downtrodden - it's a common narrative element that gets wheeled out just before every election (and yet, somehow, after all these claims and promises, we still have people living in poverty...).

JB: You make an excellent point there.  So…What’s Next?  You mentioned a mini-series earlier. What future projects can we see coming from your team of creative minds?  

HH: My next project will be a five or six-part mini-series set in a hotel during the first UK lockdown - a murder mystery, in fact! SciFi will always be my first love (and SL is an amazing place to create SciFi machinima) but I want to try something different now that comes with its own set of new challenges.

Oh, and I also have a new novel coming out early this year - it's called 'Love is a Corrupted Data Stream' and this one *is* a SciFi story. It's set in a virtual world called Pink Dawn, where people upload their brain scans after they die in real life. I've been working on this novel on and off now for a little over two years, so I'm eager to get it finished and out there!

JB: Is there anything else you would like to share with our SL Enquirer readers?

HH: Certainly.   For more information on this, and other projects we are working on, be sure and check out the following links:

People can watch the movie from this web page: https://huckleberryhax.wordpress.com/2022/12/18/waarheid-full-feature-2022/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/huckleberryhax

Website: https://huckleberryhax.wordpress.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/HuckHax

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/huckhax

So there ya have it folks. Huckleberry and company have really created something amazing here.  Do yourself a favor and check it out for yourself.  The movie is completely free to view. And stay tuned to the next amazing product to be coming soon to an SL Theater near you.

And tell ‘em Josh sent ya.

Be there.  Aloha!

JB

Read More

SLE ARCHIVES 2017: Thanksgiving. What’s the Big Deal? Lanai Jarrico Reporting...

This parody article is back by popular demand,

Thanksgiving is observed in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Liberia, and Norfolk Island on the fourth Thursday of November. This year it falls on the 23rd day of the month.
The holiday includes a gathering of family and friends for the great feast of the season. Traditionally, tables are laid out like a buffet of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, gravy and all sorts of other family recipes passed down from generations.

Today, the meal is usually followed by some football, snacks, and beer. The whole day seems to revolve around food and entertaining house guests or house hoppin’ for pickings.
But really... what is Thanksgiving about?

I sat down with Pilgrim Pete and Chief Roughneck to ask them about this holiday and get both perspectives on how it came about. 

Interview with a Pilgrim and an Indian

Read More

Winner of the 1st Squid Game Tournament in Second Life! Meet ᴇᴍᴀᴢᴀ ʟ. ᴠɪʟʟɪɴ (forgis)

On Saturday, October 23rd at 12 pm SLT, players anxiously waited in the bunk room as guards and VIPs suited up for the first Squid Game in Second Life. As VIPs observed from behind a glass window sipping wine, players started the first game of Red Light Green Light, where the first eliminations took place. Game one wiped out nearly all players except the remaining few that moved on to the next round; The Honeycomb. 

Players choose their dalgona candy tin, equipt with a timer they begin clicking away to free their selected shapes. The VIPs and live stream viewers watched on in anticipation.

Next came the tug of war game with four players remaining.  Each side tugged the ropes as the embattled team inched closer to the edge only to pull back in retaliation bringing the other team to the edge. It was an intense round and then two fell to their virtual deaths leaving 2 remaining players.

The Marbles game was intense! Spectators watched on as the two remaining players methodically went back and forth for the win. Winners moved on to the glass bridge where they were timed, The last round ended quickly with Emaza (forgis) giving a final push for the win.

Her grand prize was 7500L, the ability to fly at the next tournament, an invitation to be a VIP, and an exclusive interview with The SL Enquirer.  Emaza shared her excitement and some advice for the next-round players.

Interview with Emaza

SLE: First and foremost, congratulations on being the first winner of Squid Games in Second Life! Can you share with our readers a little bit about yourself like what do you do in Second Life and how did you discover Squid Games?

Emaza: My name is Emaza or Mazi for short. I just started creating on Second Life, so I spend most of my time doing that or with family. I got into squid games the same as everyone else! The Netflix show. When I first saw the sim and that there was going to be a tournament I got excited and decided to enter.

SLE: We were excited to see Squid Game too! So, what were your thoughts at that moment when you realized you won the first-ever Squid Game in SL?

Emaza: Honestly. I was confused because I knocked my opponent out of the platform and then I died. I thought that I had done something wrong but one of the moderators told me they shot me for a faster teleport lol.  

SLE: Well that’s one way to do it lol.  I have to say as a VIP it was intense watching each game. Can you share with our readers your thoughts and maybe some tips for the next tournament’s players? Starting with Red light Green Light, nearly all the players were eliminated, what advice would you give?

Emaza: There isn’t really much advice I can give for all of the games honestly, but For red light green light take off all Flexi hairs, physics, and moving components and pay attention to the light !. 

SLE: That’s perfect advice! The next game was the Honeycomb, did you have a strategy?

Emaza: I didn’t really have a strategy, I just chose a shape and followed the rules. I will say this much. Your clicks have to be well-timed. Each shape has a different amount of clicks, some have more clicks than the timer itself so the best way to beat it is to calculate how much time you put between each click AND DON'T CLICK TOO FAST!!

 

SLE: I hope the next players are reading this. Your advice is helpful. I have to say tug of war was very entertaining to watch. You came very close to the edge but you fought back!  Some say there was cheating involved by one of the players letting go of the rope but in the end, you and your teammate reigned supreme! What are your thoughts on that game?

Emaza: There was cheating involved but it had nothing to do with the rope being let go. What happened was the other team started pulling BEFORE The Frontman said go so that’s what they were referring to when they said someone cheated. In the process of me trying to help my teammate get the rope back to our side, I lagged and it threw me off the rope. When I tried to get back on it wouldn’t allow me to and my teammate fell. I let The Frontman know what happened and he said my teammate gave her life for me to continue and allowed me to go on. 

SLE: That was very noble of her to do. After those poor players dropped to their demise, you carried on to play the Marbles game. I wasn’t sure what was happening since we can’t see players’ HUDS. Did you have a strategy for that?  

Emaza: I didn’t compete in the marble game because there were only 3 of us left by the time we reached the game. I didn’t participate because there were only three of us left so the Frontman told me to sit out.

SLE: That makes sense. I got a little confused. With the bridge game, the rules had to be modified with a timer for two players remaining. The Frontman Jim Kirk did a great job of making it possible for you to make it to the last round with an opponent.  The final game went quickly as it seems you simply walked over and pushed her off the platform. Overall what are your thoughts on Squid Game! In Second Life? Do you have any words of encouragement for the next round of players?

Emaza: I think bringing Squid Game to SL was a brilliant idea and I had fun being a part of the experience! The last thing I expected was to be in the final two and DEFINITELY didn’t expect to win. I would say for the next round of players to stay focused, alert, and play hard.

The tournament was topped off with an afterparty featuring the K-Pop Band BlackPink Tribute. The Squid Game Team, VIPs (sponsors), players, and fans were in attendance. Congratulations again Emaza!

NEXT SQUID GAME TOURNAMENTS IS NOVEMBER 6th @ 12PM SLT.

Get your entries in before it fills up!

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Eternity%20Lover/158/166/2001

Read More

MEET ROYALESUN LUXE Paris LOOK of the YEAR Second Runner Up

NOT A CRUISE SHIP BUT THE DAUGHTER OF A REAL COUNT!

“Everyone thinks of a cruise ship when they hear my name,” exclaims RoyaleSun, laughing. 

The reality is so much more romantic and so LUXE Paris! The second grand finalist of the prestigious LUXE Paris LOOK of the YEAR competition was born in Paris to a true French count and a half French, half British mother.

''My father was a count and a decorated pilot of the French Air Force ”, continues Royale, generously sharing much of her real-life with us. '' My mother served with the Red Cross during WWII and she met my father on a blind date in Paris. My parents were always entertaining and their children were included. We had to know how to talk to anyone on any subject and dress appropriately... already whether it was for a prince, a king or a neighbor ''.

"It was an exciting world full of courtesy, something rare these days "

Royale's family moved to America when she was 3, but, it didn't really change their lives she says, because of her father's work.

‘’ I think the look of my avatar comes from this lifestyle and from my mother in particular, who was always elegant, with simplicity and classicism", adds Royale.

Valsnia: Wow! I didn't know I was talking to royalty! Have you met famous personalities?

Royale: I have met quite a few dignitaries from many other countries, many whose names would mean nothing to you. Better known, there are Prince Pierre of Greece and General Charles de Gaulle who come to my mind.

Valsnia: Is there something from this life that you would like to bring to the world today?

Royale: This world was exciting and full of courtesy, which we miss deeply these days. People genuinely cared about others and their well-being. We don't see that much anymore either. Technology is great because that's how we met, Valsnia, but it shapes the world that we are living in today ... One of my favourite sayings is "Anonymity breeds bravado!" We see examples of this several times a day. If I had a magic wand I would restore civility in our society ''.

Valsnia: This piques my curiosity, have you ever considered hosting an event in SL to promote your cause?

Royale: Yes, but it takes an enormous amount of time to organize something like this. I am my mother's caregiver, which takes me a lot of time. She will turn 100 in October, it's amazing! However, this is something I have in mind and maybe I will try to do next year.

‘’In real life, everyone tends to run in jeans and t-shirt while in Second Life you can express yourself ’’

RoyaleSun came to SL because she is interested in art... in all its forms. She was already using DazStudio, Vue, Modo, and other artistic creation programs. So she was about to open an art gallery in SL when she met a girl who was a model and convinced her that she should try that. Quickly became a top model in demand, Royale remains passionate about her virtual profession, nine years later.

Valsnia: What keeps you going?

Royale:  In RL everyone tends to run in jeans and a T-shirt, while in SL you can express yourself with the clothes and the look you wear. What keeps me moving is that passion and I love helping others achieve their passions too.

A FREE MODELLING ACADEMY!

Valsnia: You own a free modeling academy, Soleil Modelling Academy! What is the story behind this school and why this name?

Royale: There are many in SL who would love to become models, however, modeling schools tend to be out of their financial reach. I remember how hard it was for me 9 years ago so I decided to offer free classes. I don't sugarcoat the life of a model. They have to know up front that they aren't going to make a ton of Lindens, that it is mainly out of pocket, and the hours they will have to spend perfecting their editing and their look and style. It tends to weed out those that are just looking to make money in SL. As to the name, Soleil is French for Sun. Many of my friends call me Sun so it seemed fitting.

Valsnia: Your favourite memory from the LUXE Paris LOOK of the YEAR contest?

Royale: I have several great ones and an embarrassing one. Let's begin with the embarrassing one. Our first meeting was the Brunch with the Judges. Rehearsal was cut short as we ran out of time, so I never saw the tables where we were to sit. Then I was so nervous as Frolic Mills chose to ask me questions that when done with questions, I walked to the right, as directed, right into the water fountain! After that refreshing dip and sodden shoes, I finally found the table and just tp'd to a chair. Not my best ever moment!

                

As to favourite memories, one has to be the day we accidentally met at Posesion. We were both looking for poses. We struck up a friendship that has carried us through the competition and even to this day.

Valsnia: Awww... It is my favourite memory too! Did I tell you I was really intimidated by you? I still am by your talent but as a person I really love you.

Read More

INTERVIEW WITH EARL THE EASTER BUNNY- Lanai Jarrico Reporting…

 

BACK STORY:  Since the Avatar Anonymous meeting this past St. Patrick’s Day, Larry the Leprechaun has become a victim of relentless virtual glitter bombs, D*** in a box anonymous mailers and shunning by his peers.  Larry has not recovered his pot of gold and Mercedes, his stripper girlfriend still insists it wasn’t her.  According to neighbors, those two are heading for splitsville over Cupid rumors. One avie witnessed Mercedes ripping out Larry’s shamrock garden and hurling swear words in Gailic.

Last month was a doozy at the Avatar Anonymous members, It was my duty as a sponsor to pay Larry the Leprechaun a visit to make sure he was ok after his meltdown.  When I arrived at his place, he was crying hysterically in his garden and his girlfriend Mercedes was nowhere to be found. So I guess the love affair is all but over. After a brief conversation, Larry took off running into the woods so I left…I got better things to do like find out what the Easter Bunny is up to since his arrest. 

While getting media clearance, I could hear *Inmate 20475B, you have visitors* and a high pitched scream.

Lanai: OMG Earl is everything ok?l  I heard you got arrested with some serious charges and thought I’d pay you a visit.  What happened?? You were doing so well at the meetings, aside from the attack on Larry last week?

Earl the Easter Bunny: OMG look who it is….. that nosey SLE reporter. Are you stalking me? What do you want and NO! I’M NOT OK!  Get me out of this place! Larry must have some friends on the inside. You just saved me from an attack by Tammy the Toothfairy, I was about to be his… umm nevermind. *as his hands move behind him, covering his ruffled tail* 

Lanai: Hey! I’m here to help you. Easter is right around the corner and there isn’t enough time to find your replacement.  Listen, I will get you out of here if you cooperate with me. Where did you get the funding for your grass supply?

Earl the Easter Bunny: Snitches get stitches! I ain’t saying a word.

Lanai: Earl, you are looking at a lot of time here...You gotta give me some information that might help your case. Don’t worry whatever you say stays between us…

Earl the Easter Bunny: Are you a lawyer now Missssss Jarrico?

Lanai: No, but I’m the next best thing.  Earl, I’m going to give it to you straight. Did you steal Larry’s pot of gold so you can cop some grass? If you don’t come clean, I’m going to leave you here to deal with Tammy the Tooth Fairy.

Earl the Easter Bunny: OK! I confess. Mercedes and I are having an affair. I was helping her pack up Larry’s belongings and stumbled upon his gold in the closet so I stuffed my pockets but I didn’t take all of it! I used some of it to buy the grass and the rest I distributed in child support for all my kids. 

Lanai: Don’t you feel better telling the truth? I have to say that is pretty low of you to take Larry’s woman and his gold too. You need to get your eggs together.  Your actions will cause a holiday disaster. If I don’t get you out of here, Easter will be ruined.  

Earl the Easter Bunny: Just because I stole some gold and sold grass doesn’t make me less qualified to be the Easter Bunny. I’m sure you did some scandalous sh*t before. Don’t judge me.  While there are rumors going around about Uncle Sam and a few others,  allegedly Uncle Sam bought off people with cartons of e-cigarettes to be part of his militia to end Second Life of the bad seedy people. And The Arbor Day Treant tried to pass their seeds as pot seeds. Let me tell you, there are some scandalous mascots out there. I’m not the first and won’t be the last so please just get me out of here so I can go hide some easter eggs or something.

Lanai: Ohhhh sounds like I need to pay a visit to some other mascots… Thank you for the information Earl, you are such a snitch!

Lanai paid Earl’s bail and he was released from jail so he can now hide eggs for the little avie kids and Easter will go on without a hitch thanks to The SL Enquirer.

 Happy Easter!

Read More

Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun- Lanai Jarrico Reporting..

BACK STORY:

Mascot series. We met up with Larry, after an Avatar Anonymous meeting. He was kicked out for trying to attack several of the members. He’s dating a fairy stripper he met at a club named Mercedes.  Her crib gets robbed of all of Larry’s gold and now Larry is trying to find out who did it - only a handful of mascots knew about it. The Easter Bunny and Uncle Sam are suspects. Cupid couldn't have done it, he’s too busy trying to hook up with the CEO of SLE. Santa be on his own shit and Baby New year ain’t got time for that.

EPISODE 1- Unlucky St. Patrick’s Day- Interview with Larry the Leprechaun

Here’s something that will blow your mind…Did you know St. Patrick was actually kidnapped as a teen from Roman Britain and taken to Ireland as a slave. He wasn’t actually Irish but throughout his life until his death on March 17th, 461, he established churches, schools, and monasteries. Through the centuries there have been many legends surrounding St. Patrick. One of the most common is the legends he drove all the snakes out of Ireland and used a shamrock to explain the trinity.

St. Patrick’s day originated as a day of religious services and feasts. This holiday was brought to the United States by immigrants where it is a celebration of all things Irish, including annual parades. Today, St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday that is celebrated by many around the world, not just by the Irish culture. It has turned into an annual tradition for observers to eat, drink, wear green, and party with friends and family. 

In Second Life it is a different story…

We aren’t sure how Leprechauns and the idea of a pot of gold, getting lucky and even Lucky Charms; a children's cereal became a thing on St. Patrick’s Day, but in Second Life at an AA Meeting I came across Larry the Leprechaun and before I can even Introduce myself and start sharing my SL grievances with my peers, he got slapped hard by the Easter Bunny in front of everyone. 

(At an Avatar Anonymous meeting where a commotion erupts between Larry and the Easter Bunny)

Earl The Easter Bunny: *SLAP* Like Sweet Brown said… “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

The Spirit of Joan Rivers: Well shit! Get a hotel room for that.

Lanai: Woahhh What’s going on here?

Earl The Easter Bunny: This clown right here had it coming.  I’m only in this stupid meeting due to a court order but I’m no criminal!

Lanai: Well keep your paws to yourself, that was rude. So Larry,  Can I talk to you? *helps him off the ground after witnessing an attack from a fellow mascot.*

Larry the Leprechaun: *straightening out his jacket and dusts himself off as he stands back up to his feet and looks over* Who are you and how did you know my name?

Lanai: Hi my name is Lanai and I'm a reporter for SLE and “Larry”  is on your name tag?.... Me and everyone else couldn’t help but notice that slap you just received from the Easter Bunny. So why are you arguing with your peers at an AA Meeting?  Aren't you participating in these meetings to improve your self esteem and character as an upstanding Second Life avatar? Aside from that, it’s St. Patrick’s Day! Shouldn’t you be out protecting your pot of gold or something?

Larry the Lep: *looks down at his name tag and cusses ripping it off and tossing it on the ground* A reporter? That is all I need right now, no, I need the police! Someone stole my pot of gold from my girlfriend Mercedes’s house and I need to find it! I know it had to be one of these muppets in there. I will find out who did it! Damn it.

Lanai: Calm down... So when was the last time you saw Mercedes and your pot of gold?

Larry the Lep:* looks like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum as he jumps up and down* 

Calm down?!? Calm Down? That is me gold we are talking about lassy, me GOLD! The gold was at her place in her bedroom closet on Monday, I remember seeing the most beautiful glow coming from underneath the door, it was magnificent. I’m not sure why she isn’t at the meeting…

Bernie: It ain’t my business.

The spirit of Joan Rivers: Who gives a sh*t? F you and you , and him too.

Lanai: Joan… Be nice to your peers this meeting is supposed to empower. 

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Where’s the peppermint creamer?

Spirit of Joan Rivers: Oh Shut up Nick!

 Lanai: There is a lot of pent up energy in this meeting today. We may have to switch to lavender tea… Look Larry, something sounds amiss. Do you know if Mercedes had anyone over in the past couple of days or did you tell anyone else about your stashed loot?

Bernie: Don’t mind me. I’m just chillin…

Spirit of Joan Rivers: F*ck off.

Larry the Lep: Bernie why are you even here?  Anyways…. What! My Mercedes?!?! She wouldn’t have anyone else over, she loves me, oh my lovely lassy, she is one for the pages of my heart I say.. NO she wouldn’t have anyone else over or tell anyone about me gold!

Bernie: Rude.

Lanai: Leave Bernie alone! This meeting is open to anyone going through viral meming and virtual world issues!  Mercedes. Her name sounds familiar….Wait.. Isn’t she that tooth fairy who got busted with glitter dust a year ago? The one that works at “The Burnt Mushroom” Strip Club on the east side? If that’s the one… it sounds like Mercedes was a gold digger and had a serious addiction. Anyways. I remember a conversation with Cupid a few months back. He mentioned she can’t be trusted. I think he was hittin’ that but who am I to gossip…

Larry the Lep: HEY! She was holding that for a friend, she doesn’t do glitter dust….anymore.. But anyway it doesn’t matter where she works, she is just putting herself through college for her Cupcake Decorating degree, she is going to make something of herself! As for Cupid, he only WISHES he could tap that! Mercedes has standards you know.

Lanai: I see.  That's what the unicorn said…. She is still workin the pole.  Fine, maybe we are talking about different fairies… So anyways, Larry… Can I call you that? It’s St. Patrick’s day and I wanted to educate our readers on how you came about being the holiday mascot.

The Unicorn: Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

Larry the Lep: St Patty this St Patty that! F him and F all that. Can’t you see we are in a crisis here lassy! I’m missing me pot of gold! You promise to help me find me pot of gold, I will give your readers the education of our holiday you want. 

Lanai: OK fine stop being hostile geez. I will help you find your pot of gold.  I’m not even sure where to start but Cupid and the Easter Bunny seem suspish. If the rumors are true, Cupid would know what Mercedes’s bedroom looks like...but the way I saw you get dropped by the Easter Bunny, maybe he has your gold. Rumor around the grid is, he is 1,000,000L behind on his child support. You know how rabbits have kids...

Spirit of Joan Rivers: MMhmmm

Earl the Easter Bunny: Umm I’m sitting right here.

Bernie: Rude.

Uncle Sam: *whispers to Santa* This is getting good.

Larry the Lep: Don’t be a gowl, the damn bunny got a lucky shot when I was trying to buckle my boots. As for Cupid, knowing Mercedes' room, he wishes, maybe only the pics that I shared umm I mean the description of how nice the room is, that is the only way he would know. But both of them are sex-crazed they wouldn’t be after me pot, Well yes, maybe the bunny cause he hits them and leaves them with many kids but I am thinking it is the Tooth Fairy, to be honest, he was always a little jealous of Mercedes and me since she dumped him for a real Leppy. 

Earl the Easter Bunny: Don’t catch another slap Larry.

Lanai: *stares at the Easter Bunny*  You have a good point there Larry. The tooth fairy does seem like a shady individual. What grown-ass man named Tammy wears a pink tutu and wings? Sounds like a creep to me.  He couldn't be here today because I heard he’s locked up for unpaid parking tickets.

Larry the Lep: Creepy you are right, I mean this man goes into children’s rooms in the middle of the night to steal TEETH! I mean come on, and how does he pay for those teeth? Maybe with fencing stolen GOLD huh??!?!

Lanai: Let me investigate. *pulls out her black book* We might have a story here.

After multiple attempts to contact Cupid, he could not be reached.

Earl the Easter Bunny:  “Larry is a raging alcoholic who is very forgetful. I bet he spent all his gold at the Blarney Stone Pub. We all know how they like to protect their own no matter who they step on. I was defending myself at the meeting because he was accusing me and everyone else. Maybe you should ask Uncle Sam.”

Uncle Sam: Oh noooo see that sign over there? It says No Drama Zone!  Don’t even include me in this mess I have a whole economy and a pandemic of my own to worry about. I don’t know him, Mercedes, or anyone else this little fool hangs out with so remove me from your suspect list. I come to Avatar Anonymous meetings to help with my public speaking skills. Maybe you should ask Santa, he seems to know who's been naughty or nice.

Santa: Uncle Sam is always trying to throw someone under the sleigh… According to my records, Sam was inciting a riot at The Linden Labs Headquarters on that day and all of the accused have alibis that check out except for one. Cupid was at a chest wax appointment during the hours in question. The Easter Bunny was in court with all his baby mommas and Mercedes was actually giving a lap dance to Orion Baral from your newspaper on that day and they went back to her place.

Lanai: Oh really now? So are you saying maybe SLE is somehow involved? This just got really interesting… Soooo Orion what do you know about the missing gold?

Orion Baral: First off, it wasn’t filmed pictured, or sketch drawn, I didn’t do it. You know me better than this, I wouldn't go to a low strip club. I am very loyal and wouldn’t hurt SLE’s reputation being seen there. As for this Mercedes girl, I met her once at a Business Seminar only, I didn’t go anywhere with her, I said hi and politely complimented she had nice wings, that was all.

Lanai: Hmmm. I do recall you going on a recent shopping spree a couple of days ago… OK Meeting is over!

Well, folks there you have it, we are just reporters, we are not detectives. We ask you the good people of SL to help us find who stole Larry’s pot of gold.  Please leave your comments below and help us find the culprit! We rely on you, the people. 

TO BE CONTINUED….

Read More