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16 Years and counting...Got SL News? Get it Published! Contact Lanai Jarrico at lanaijarrico@gmail.com
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label online dating. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

AVIE POLL: IF YOU ARE MARRIED IN REAL LIFE, AND PARTNER IN SL, IS IT CONSIDERED CHEATING? - JOSH (THOMAS1 BELLIC)







So...this question has been asked at least once, and probably a couple dozen times, by every married guy or gal shortly after setting pixelated foot on the SL Grid. In keeping with SLE’s desire to remain relevant to the population we serve, we thought it would be interesting to make this ubiquitous question the subject of this month’s SLE Poll.  This proved to be a particularly easy question to ask, but difficult to get answers. Almost universally, whenever I posed the question, people had an opinion, but very few were willing to share it. So, My hat’s off to those intrepid few who dared to answer, and even more so to those who wished to be identified with their answer. So then...with that in mind….Let the Games Begin!


When asked, “If you are married in Real Life, and partner in SecondLife, is it cheating?, the first respondent had a very thoughtful answer.




Anonymous, SL Resident, (9 years 11 months; 3650 days)


“I feel my partner in sl just adds more enrichment to my real life.  Perhaps in many ways it fill in little little holes that even a happy marriage can have.  I have a very happy rl marriage, and my adventures in sl bleed out into my rl marriage. My exploration of bondage has lead to me exploring that with my husband, who was eager to take part.  He must wonder and realize what I may be doing in sl, but he knows I am happy and continue to make him happy. I in no way have a partner in sl to replace what I have in rl. Its a balance one has to be mature enough to engage in and have a big enough heart for, to keep that way.”  


Another respondent was equally circumspect.



Lora B. , SecondLife Resident, (12 years 8 months; 4643 days)


“I am happy to tell you my answer....  SL is an alternate existence, we can live by the same compass we use in RL or we can treat this world the way some people treat a video game.... there are video games where you engage in war and pretend to kill people... and video games where you pretend to steal things... I think those people are not truly murderers or thieves.... any more than the married people who are partnered here are unfaithful.... I dont agree with people who believe any division of the heart or mind away from a lawful spouse is infidelity...”


The next two responders brought a unique perspective to the question, since they are actually a RL married couple, as well as SL partners.


Kale Rayne, DJ, Owner Teaser's Lounge & Den (8 years 4 months; 3052 days)


“We are married in both RL and SL Delilah and I. To answer the question, I state this: I encourage her to play at her choosing whether I am present or not. The only thing I ask is that she tell me of her adventures if I am not present or online. She has told me every time therefore she is not cheating on me since I encourage her to play. Our relationship is defined as a Stag and Vixen whereas she may have different lovers and I do not touch any other woman , at times I may watch or even join in if all are willing. Now if at anytime she hides her adventures to me then yes that is cheating, but the trust I have in her is what she cherishes most . We have been together for 8 years plus in SL and she has never cheated.”


Delilah Rayne, Hostess, Co-Owner Teaser's Lounge & Den,  (8 years 11 months; 3270 days)


“No it is not cheating if your RL partner knows about it and is okay with it.  If its done behind your RL partners back and they are not aware then yes its considered cheating in our opinion.


This next couple were also in complete agreement




Richh Devin,  Builder of Dreams, Club Owner (11 years 10 months; 4345 days)
Alexxxa Devin) SL DJ and Hostess  (9 years 5 months; 3447 days)


“As long as both are on same page about SL, then no, it is most definitely NOT cheating.   Communication is key in both worlds.”


This next answer come from one who was holding one of those Magic 8-Balls.  She repeated my question for the benefit of the ball, and responded accordingly with a very reasonable and straightforward  response.


Hunnydumpling  O'Magah, SL Resident (8 years 7 months; 3140 days)


“After consulting my oracle I believe that partnering someone is cheating while just screwing them is not. TYVM”


While the responders answered some variation of the “it’s not cheating” theme, there was one particularly outspoken proponent of the opposite view.


Lisa Icandia,  Renaissance Woman, (9 years 2 months; 3364 days)


“Of course it is cheating unless you have lost all morality from sight. You are emotionally cheating on your real life partner. She/He may be sexually uninspired or fat or old but you're married. You are giving laughter, joy, fun, understanding and time to a total stranger who is a well made and sexy cartoon and is only made of pixel dust. And 9.5 times out of 10 it will end in one of you leaving SL or blocking the other person or cheating on that avatar along with your real life partner. But we ignore that it's cheating, don't we, because we love the thrill of the chase and we love feeling loved and as if we are young and beautiful and viable. There are no real obligations in here to mow the lawn or cook or clean house or bathe or go to work each day so we can always be charming and perfect spouses in SL even though we are not in real life. It's ALL an illusion!”


Often times when I asked a potential respondent, several answered that they did not feel comfortable answering the question, but would love to read the final poll results and asked that they be notified when it went to press.




S  male, (4 years 8 months; 1727 days)


“ummmm...I suspect if you are married in RL and partnered here the odds are that you are going to say no to cheating but I look forward to seeing the results.”


So there you have it folks...as many different answers as there were individuals who answered.  So then. What do YOU think? Leave a comment.


Friday, November 27, 2015

Top 5 Reasons Why Relationships Fail in Second Life-Becca Drascol Reporting



Whether your SL relationship is just an in-world romance or one that steps outside into RL, all relationships have specific elements that make them last or fail. Even if the relationship is in-world only and may not be as serious, all people tend to rely on a few basic things that they will or won't tolerate. In this article I will go over what I feel are top 5 things that make a relationship fail in SL.


1)Stalking-All relationships usually start off sweet and honeymooner-esque. And although most stalking usually occurs after a relationship ends badly, that's not always the case. Rather it's a possession or control type issue, sometimes people have an unhealthy obsession with someone they have been involved with. To me this is a very distinct line and timing of something that ruins or causes the fail of a relationship.

2)Partner becomes controlling-While we want to think we would know a controlling person when we meet them, the truth can be so very far from that. Sometimes it’s just when things seem to be rolling along merrily and then BAM one partner starts to control. From telling their partner how to dress, who to talk to, and furthermore what type of job they can or cannot do within SL, or even where they can go. This too can kill any relationship. It is only when one becomes passive to the control is when it doesn't end the relationship.

3)Cheating-When it comes to cheating I must first say that one there is a clear cut definition of cheating, which would be having a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone other than your partner. With that being said, and with the fact that polyamory is on a RL rise, along with open relationships, and different sexual behaviors that would normally be defined as cheating, what cheating is truly defined as may be blurred. But whenever an issue is one that is a betrayal to your partner it is most likely going to end up heartbreak hotel and the end of a relationship.

4)New love interest-Ever get that feeling that the relationship has changed? That your partner is falling for another? Or boom...they leave you and then you find that it's for another. And unless you want to cling or hold on...or become the above mentioned, a stalker...your love finding another is normally the end of things. And so it should be.

5)Dishonesty-What's a little white lie? A huge lie? One lie...or two...three? Well I guess it would depend on if the person lied to can live with the truth that it spawned from. Sometimes couples can thrive even when dishonesty arises mid relationship. Even lies that most people would not stand for, such as they're married RL and you never knew, or have children. Or perhaps they play as a male avatar and to your knowledge were male RL then suddenly they confess they happen to be female RL. Some of these lies would not affect one whatsoever and they would continue the SL relationship as it was, only in knowing the things they did not before. But for most, lies and dishonest behavior will put a nail in the coffin for sure.

Why do they fail?
Why one relationship fails while another thrives may be a mystery or obvious and clear. It could be one or all of my top five play a part in relationship failures. Hopefully with these top five in mind, you SL’ers out there can better a current relationship or make informed decisions when it’s time for an end.


This is Becca Drascol wishing you a happy healthy relationship...or new beginnings should one fail.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

In the name of Love - Sarahelisebeth Brenham




Would you move to a new country for someone you have only known online? Is this idea dangerous? Could love like this last? Let's discuss this important topic.


Many of us want to find our prince or princess charming. Throughout the years, different ways and methods for finding your soul mate have been introduced. In the twenty-first century, the most popular way to find your forever love is on the internet. There are many ways to meet someone on the web. One such way is through a program called Second Life. SL is a platform that allows people to live out dreams that they thought could never come true. Being that Second Life has over a million members, it’s no shock that people can and have met the love of their SL and RL. But relationships that start online do come with special circumstances. Let’s explore what you challenges you might face and how to deal with them, if you just happen to meet your soul mate on the internet.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Online Dating in Second Life- Jessi2009 Warrol Reporting…


With increased internet usage, online dating has taken the world by storm. Couples who are thousands of miles apart can now find love via their computers. Using web cams, instant messaging, and even virtual worlds, couples who normally would not have ever met, are now meeting and falling in love.
Virtual worlds such as Second Life, give online dating a twist. Couples can go for a movie, grab a bite to eat, and snuggle up in front of a fire, all from the comfort of their living rooms and without even next to each other!






Monday, February 25, 2013

Dating in Second Life© - Definate Balfour Reporting…






I’ve done it, you’ve most likely done it, and honestly I really don’t know of too many who haven’t done it. What is ‘it’ you might be wondering?  Dating is ‘it’!
You roam the grid and you see it happening all the time, partnerships, engagements, and even people that have found love beyond the pixel, but all these things began the same way, dating. I wanted to know about others’ experiences, what they look for, and any advice that they may be able to provide. What other way to do this than asking avatars?

I began my journey to answer these questions by simply asking them. I came up with basic questions for friends, family, and even strangers to make things more even. I wanted unbiased answers, things that may not have been told to me by friends and family.
What I asked were the following:

Monday, February 20, 2012

Stories from the SL Dating-Relationship Trenches -- Shon Charisma Reporting

In Second Life, we can do practically anything, and most of the things we finally settle down to do in earnest are the same things we do in our real space. We work to get the body we want. We buy clothes and accessories that make us look good (relatively speaking, that is). We purchase homes. And while we're in the midst of "getting ourselves together" here on the grid, we also find love, build relationships, get married, have kids, develop a family. I might be one of the very few who never thought about having a relationship in-world. I have children and grandchildren--am even a godmother to a few, but never thought about finding a mate...for what?

And then I met someone who actually made me want to chunk a part of my day just to dedicate to her, and I then, like a million-watt light bulb going off in my mind, realized that it's not that surprising we'd want to connect with others in-world in deep ways: to date, get to learn about others, to make connections that have you wanting to build a relationship with just one person.

BUT...to get to that "building a relationship" stage, most SL citizens date, and it's that SL Dating Pool where you can run into the right one, the wrong one, the crazy one, and the ones in between. I talked with a few SL citizens about the good, bad, and the ugly of SL dating and not only got good stories, but good advice for those jumping into the grid and looking for L-O-V-E.



Me and my Bae, Earth Nirvana



I asked a few SL citizens to share with me an SL dating/relationship story, good or bad, and offer some sort of advice to others jumping into the dating pool. I want to share some below...

Monday, February 6, 2012

MEN AND ROMANCE Allen Eppenberger Reporting...


 

Valentines Day is a subject that can vary widely, depending on who you ask. Many women will eagerly look forward to recieving gifts of chocolates, flowers, and trinkets. Children will giggle and poke fun at their peers, blushing at the tiny paper wishes, printed with animated characters, or stuffed animals. And men. Ah, yes, men. We like to fly under the radar on that day.

It's not that we aren't romantic. Far from it! I've spent many happy hours courting my wife in RL. There was one time early in our marriage when we wandered through the greeting cards at the local Hallmark Shop. We took turns just showing each other Valentine cards that caught our fancy. Afterwards, we went to a fast food place and just talked while we ate, dreaming about the future.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Reader Video Submission: Outrageous Weirdiculous E-Harmony Bio Are you a cat lover? The SL Enquirer

It gets good at  0:59
Online Dating Services.

It is youtube.com videos like this that introduce me to the real horrors of online matchmaking and hooking up. I was left bewildered at the content of this video even cried because the unintended humor was almost as good as Chris Crocker's infamous LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! rant. I wonder if these two are related or at least know each other.

Monday, December 22, 2008

CULTURE: Online Dating- 100% Birth Control...


Imagine the Possibilities
Pros
-----
*Enjoy Second Life with a companion or companions.
we all need one unless we settle for a virtual dog or a hampster...
*half the rental fees and more help in business?
*cheapest form of dating ever created Next to speed dating.
*finally finding true love...again?
Cons
-----
*commitment issues are now compromised
*domestic drama and bickering is more then likely
*feelings of being smothered, held back or on a short lease.
*break up within 4 months.making up/breaking up again
*sleepless lonely nights

A look into the Phenomenon of Online Dating
By: Lanai Jarrico

 
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